Love Your Neighbor

This weekend on Sunday afternoon I went back to the old apartment to claim the last of my things. I brought Deacon Chris with me with hopes that he would help me in the discernment process of what can stay and what can go. Despite his insistence that if I “haven’t used it in the last month at the new house, you don’t need to keep it”, I still managed to haul two car loads of things back to Pawtucket. In the midst of all the sifting through stuff I found myself walking down memory lane, and when the room was cleared out, I stood for a moment and sort of looked around.

I couldn’t help but be filled with mixed emotions while taking it all in. I thought about when I first moved into the place. I was so excited to be starting in “my first apartment”. It was the first time I was living in my own place, and not renting a room in someone else’s home. I thought about all the ups and downs through the years. I came across old letters from ex’s that made their way into the “memory box”. I found tickets from movies, concerts, and plays that I went to with special people. I found an empty wine bottle that has traveled with me for about 5 or 6 years. I found a pumpkin carving kit, old engraved dog tags, a Transformer, and many other miscellaneous trinkets and tokens that I held onto as special memories from special events along life’s journey. Why do we keep this stuff???

We keep this stuff because it’s significant to us in some way. They certainly are not reminders of days I wish I could return to. Some of them are reminders of lessons I had to learn in life the hard way. Some of them are reminders of lessons that I continue to learn to this day. Some of them are reminders of people, who for better or worse; make me the person I am today.

In the Gospel on Sunday Jesus is asked a very pointed question “which one of the commandments is the greatest?” Jesus’ answer is one that has certainly gone down in history;

"You shall love the Lord, your God,with all your heart,with all your soul,and with all your mind.This is the greatest and the first commandment.The second is like it:You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."

In this very clear statement, Jesus makes it very clear that our relationship with one another is intrinsically linked with our relationship with God. The statement presupposes that we already love ourselves, and that we must love our neighbor in like manner. This love is just as significant – and in fact linked to – our love for God.

That’s how we end up with all this “stuff” over the years, because the people in our lives, and the memories that come with them are linked to the Divine. These people that God puts in our path along the way who leave an impression on our hearts are there for a reason. That’s why we hold onto all that stuff…that’s why we have memory boxes. That’s why even after sifting through all the leftover stuff in my apartment, and throwing away countless bags of trash, I still managed to fill two cars with what remained! Those items are things that are point towards something much deeper, something much more significant. The love that has been shown to me along the way from the people and memories attached to those items, were reminders of the love of God Himself.

From the outsider’s perspective, I think many would ask “why would you save that”, or “why would you want to remember them?” I mentioned that Jesus’ words presupposed that we love ourselves. There were definitely periods of life where I did not love myself, and hence the love I had for others was equally as flawed. The relationships I tried to maintain while I was under the influence of alcohol were all people who will no doubt be counted one day among the Saints. The love they showed for me despite my inability to rightly love in return is undoubtedly a testimony to the divine nature of love.

So now it is a new day, and as some of these trinkets and memories find their new home on a shelf at the new house I look upon them with a smile. That’s because I do love myself now. I love my flawed, broken, simple self. I can say that because I know that my God loves me, and He knows that each and every day I give it my all…because that’s all we can do. I know for a fact that He loves me, because attached to each and every one of those trinkets and nick-knacks is one of my “neighbors” who lived that message of Jesus in their heart, and loved me…for the mess I was.

From the outsider’s perspective I’m a pack-rat. From my perspective, I’m a lucky guy, who’s been blessed throughout my life with people who have contributed to who I am today – weather they intended to or not. I think the important lesson to be learned is that’s why it’s so important to love our neighbor – because maybe they don’t love themselves, maybe they feel alone, maybe no one understands them. So love your neighbor…they may be depending on it.