One of my not so secret passions is Teen Dramas on Television...embarrassing I know. One of which is the old Beverly Hills 90210 series. Today while I was watching the old re-runs, the episode they aired was the Graduation episode. The big drama of the show was the usual in Teen Drama - who showed up for graduation day and who didn't. The teens whose parents were on their third and fourth marriage, and the birth parents both came anyways. The ones who were worried til graduation day itself if they were even going to walk with their class. As the episode went on, they continued to show flashbacks to the different major events in the young people's lives.
As I watched I thought back in my own life. My High School graduation, and College graduation. The most significant for me was College, I couldn't believe I had actually made it! I had survived four years of intense life in Seminary formation, and had managed to complete all the qualifications that the College had held. Things were going according to schedule, and in four years I'd be a priest.
Of course that's not how things turned out. But I remember how much it meant to me to see certain people at these events. My mind then began to wander to my Diaconate Ordination...and event I had not yet processed. There is a part of the ceremony when the candidate for Ordination lays prostrate on the floor. During this moment the Bishop all present pray that the Holy Spirit descend from the Heavens and touch the soul of the Candidate that is to be Ordained. It was always emotional for me at others Ordinations to watch, but as my hands hit the floor it boomed in my head and in my heart "Holy Shit, this is it". My life would forever be changed. I would be clergy - forever.
In my mind passed the many faces of the people who couldn't be there. I thought of my parents, who first taught me the faith, and who since we have fallen on rocky grounds. I thought of my friends from seminary, some of whom I remain in close touch, and others I don't. I thought of the priests who handled my formation, and all the friends - and enemies - who had brought me to that day. I thought about the Parish here in Providence, and all our beloved Parishioners, the Little Brothers, who were present, and in many ways have become a new family to me. I really realized that it's true what they say about things happening in God's time, and not our own.
I think if I had stayed in Seminary, and been Ordained "on schedule" I would not be half the priest that I hope I will be. I would not have had the life experience of so many things. Like knowing what it's like to pay my rent, and knowing how it feels when it's the 6th of the month and I'm avoiding my landlord because I haven't paid it yet. Or like going to make a phone call and realizing my phone's been shut off. Most of all, I would never have known the God awful feeling of being dumped, or that hollowness that we feel inside when we have parted ways with a lover. The friendships and relationships that I have made/had in years between leaving seminary and now have made me who I am, and made me the man who laid on the floor before the Bishop on November 21st.
So who was there that day? Everybody was. Although it was out in Baltimore, and the reality was that people couldn't just shoot down for the weekend's events, everyone was there. Everyone who led me in their own way to that fateful day. Everyone for whom I am thankful to God always for dropping them in my life, each in their own unique ways.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Homily from Immaculate Conception Feast Day
Today’s readings, are in my opinion some of the most beautiful, and significant in our Catholic tradition. In the first reading, we hear God’s infamous, and history altering judgment on Adam and Eve. They have been planted in the middle of Paradise. They want for nothing, they are destined to live forever in good health and joy in the presence of the God who created them. The devil tempts them by convincing them that the reason God doesn’t want them to eat of the fruit of that famous tree is because then they will be like God. What they don’t realize is…they already are. Despite this sin however, God promises that He will fix things. He promises that there will come a woman who will live in “enmity” with the serpent.
The word “enmity” means separation. He promises a woman who will be spared from the serpent and his scorn, who will be graced from the beginning and spared Original Sin. Centuries later we come to the story we hear in the Gospel tonight. The angel Gabriel comes from God and asks Mary to be the mother of the Savior. Because she has lived a life of purity and sinlessness, she is not blinded by the clouds of doubt or fear, and she not only says “yes” she says “I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me as you say.“
Adam and Eve demonstrate in their behavior the most ancient quality in humanity - our frail human nature. They stand face to face with God and receive one request - don’t eat from that ONE tree - which they break on the grounds of being tempted with greater glory, while Mary receives a seemingly absurd request from an unseen God and she responds with an ardent and heartfelt yes.
Perhaps often in life we end up like Adam and Eve instead of Mary. We are given so many gifts, but we send so much time analyzing and searching for more, we decide that what He has given us is not enough, and we go after something we don’t really need. We never think that what we have is enough, and we are always striving to acquire more. Sometimes however, this goes beyond a basic and healthy motivation to improve ourselves, and moves into selfishness. Sometimes we over pursue our pride, sometimes we loose ourselves in meaningless things, in empty pursuits, or if we are not careful, we find ourselves dancing with the dangers of addiction
The message of today is clear. We have to trust that God always gives us exactly what we need to accomplish what He calls us to. Mary knew that - that’s why she gave such an ardent “yes”. So which side of the line do we fall on? Do we trust in what He has given us? Or are we looking for more that we may not even need. It‘s different for all of us, and we all have our weaknesses, and it is important for us to be able to identify them, lest they get the best of us. It is not until we look past these temptations and weaknesses, that we like Mary, will be able to fully respond to His call in our lives, and fulfill the role He has in mind for each and everyone of us in His kingdom.
God Bless You
The word “enmity” means separation. He promises a woman who will be spared from the serpent and his scorn, who will be graced from the beginning and spared Original Sin. Centuries later we come to the story we hear in the Gospel tonight. The angel Gabriel comes from God and asks Mary to be the mother of the Savior. Because she has lived a life of purity and sinlessness, she is not blinded by the clouds of doubt or fear, and she not only says “yes” she says “I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me as you say.“
Adam and Eve demonstrate in their behavior the most ancient quality in humanity - our frail human nature. They stand face to face with God and receive one request - don’t eat from that ONE tree - which they break on the grounds of being tempted with greater glory, while Mary receives a seemingly absurd request from an unseen God and she responds with an ardent and heartfelt yes.
Perhaps often in life we end up like Adam and Eve instead of Mary. We are given so many gifts, but we send so much time analyzing and searching for more, we decide that what He has given us is not enough, and we go after something we don’t really need. We never think that what we have is enough, and we are always striving to acquire more. Sometimes however, this goes beyond a basic and healthy motivation to improve ourselves, and moves into selfishness. Sometimes we over pursue our pride, sometimes we loose ourselves in meaningless things, in empty pursuits, or if we are not careful, we find ourselves dancing with the dangers of addiction
The message of today is clear. We have to trust that God always gives us exactly what we need to accomplish what He calls us to. Mary knew that - that’s why she gave such an ardent “yes”. So which side of the line do we fall on? Do we trust in what He has given us? Or are we looking for more that we may not even need. It‘s different for all of us, and we all have our weaknesses, and it is important for us to be able to identify them, lest they get the best of us. It is not until we look past these temptations and weaknesses, that we like Mary, will be able to fully respond to His call in our lives, and fulfill the role He has in mind for each and everyone of us in His kingdom.
God Bless You
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
World Aids Day
Tonight I spoke at the World Aids Day 2009 Vigil Downtown. I was honored when I was asked to say a few words this evening. The issue of HIV and AIDS is one that effects each and everyone of us. I am certain that nobody who was there can say that it is an issue that in no way touches them. The over 1 Million people in America, and 33 Million world wide who live in it’s reality each and everyday are faced with the daily challenge to maintain hope, and strive to live healthy lives.
It is easy when discussing this topic to ask “where is God?”, especially as we consider those we have lost. The answer to that question is simple, as I looked out on His face tonight. The flickering candles that were before me are a testimony to those we have lost, as well as a testimony to our ongoing responsibility to the community, and our obligation to educate and work towards HIV prevention. That ongoing dedication is the greatest testimony we can give to the impact in our lives of those we have lost.
Nights like this are an effective reminder that HIV is everyone’s concern. Our level of awareness around this subject must remain acute. And we must never become complacent regarding our responsibilities towards our brothers and sisters. We are reminded tonight very powerfully of the extent to which AIDS affects not only the person who is infected but the people around them.
Informing and educating people is one of the most effective means we have of reducing the spread of the virus. We have come a long way since AIDS first came on the scene. People are far more relaxed and inclined to talk about the disease now than they were then. We know that it is not a death sentence, but a challenge to focus on healthy living, and how precious life truly is. But of course in so many parts of the world there is still a silence surrounding the virus that is driven by fear and suspicion, and that silence can be deadly.
To Quote President Obama;
“Though we have been witness to incredible progress, our struggle against HIV/AIDS is far from over. With an infection occurring every nine-and-a-half minutes in America, there are more than one million individuals estimated to be living with the disease in our country. Of those currently infected, one in five does not know they have the condition, and the majority of new infections are spread by people who are unaware of their own status. HIV/AIDS does not discriminate as it infiltrates neighborhoods and communities. Americans of any gender, age, ethnicity, income, or sexual orientation can and are contracting the disease.”
How true Mr. President, how true indeed. We know however that this about much more then numbers. Each life we have lost was far more then a number. They were husbands, wives, friends, and family. The question before us is what statistic are you and I. Do you know your status, are we tested regularly, are we living responsibly?
Saint Paul teaches us that “we are one body” and “When one part of the body suffers, the entire body suffers.” Our body then, is injured, and we have a universal, and clear obligation to work together towards that body’s health and well being. In the Gospels Jesus healed the ten lepers, and when one returned in Thanksgiving, He was told his faith had healed him. Let's pray that the Lord will smile on the determination of the countless people across the world who are moved to fight for this cause, and pray He will see our faith, and heal this injured body.
It is easy when discussing this topic to ask “where is God?”, especially as we consider those we have lost. The answer to that question is simple, as I looked out on His face tonight. The flickering candles that were before me are a testimony to those we have lost, as well as a testimony to our ongoing responsibility to the community, and our obligation to educate and work towards HIV prevention. That ongoing dedication is the greatest testimony we can give to the impact in our lives of those we have lost.
Nights like this are an effective reminder that HIV is everyone’s concern. Our level of awareness around this subject must remain acute. And we must never become complacent regarding our responsibilities towards our brothers and sisters. We are reminded tonight very powerfully of the extent to which AIDS affects not only the person who is infected but the people around them.
Informing and educating people is one of the most effective means we have of reducing the spread of the virus. We have come a long way since AIDS first came on the scene. People are far more relaxed and inclined to talk about the disease now than they were then. We know that it is not a death sentence, but a challenge to focus on healthy living, and how precious life truly is. But of course in so many parts of the world there is still a silence surrounding the virus that is driven by fear and suspicion, and that silence can be deadly.
To Quote President Obama;
“Though we have been witness to incredible progress, our struggle against HIV/AIDS is far from over. With an infection occurring every nine-and-a-half minutes in America, there are more than one million individuals estimated to be living with the disease in our country. Of those currently infected, one in five does not know they have the condition, and the majority of new infections are spread by people who are unaware of their own status. HIV/AIDS does not discriminate as it infiltrates neighborhoods and communities. Americans of any gender, age, ethnicity, income, or sexual orientation can and are contracting the disease.”
How true Mr. President, how true indeed. We know however that this about much more then numbers. Each life we have lost was far more then a number. They were husbands, wives, friends, and family. The question before us is what statistic are you and I. Do you know your status, are we tested regularly, are we living responsibly?
Saint Paul teaches us that “we are one body” and “When one part of the body suffers, the entire body suffers.” Our body then, is injured, and we have a universal, and clear obligation to work together towards that body’s health and well being. In the Gospels Jesus healed the ten lepers, and when one returned in Thanksgiving, He was told his faith had healed him. Let's pray that the Lord will smile on the determination of the countless people across the world who are moved to fight for this cause, and pray He will see our faith, and heal this injured body.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Solemnity of Christ the King
By Popular Demand, my Homily from last night, for those who may have missed it..
____________________________________________________________________
I am sure that everyone gathered here today has heard of the website, Craigslist. It serves as a venue for almost everything imaginable, real estate sales, job opportunities, automobile sales, and just about everything else in between, including a ‘Personals’ section. Among the many selections of whose seeking what there is a “Missed Connections” section. So if in the busyness of your everyday life you encounter someone who you are attracted to, you can post it in this section. I used to always snicker at this page thinking, “why not just approach the person?”
There are so many reasons why people don’t act in that moment when they are attracted to someone. Sometimes it’s a lack of nerve, sometimes it’s a matter of the noise of our everyday lives that makes it inappropriate or impossible to act on that impulse.
In today’s Gospel Pilate has a bit of a Missed Connection. He has Jesus standing in front of him, and his total concern, being a politician, is Jesus’ title as “King of the Jews”. Jesus explains to Pilate with great clarity that His kingdom is not of this world. He tries to present to Pilate exactly who he is, and what’s going on, but Pilate cannot see past this “worldly title”, and his own ambition. So he fails to hear the call of Christ.
You see, Jesus calls to us each and everyday, at every moment. He is constantly calling , and inviting us to come closer, and have an individual experience of Him. This call goes beyond a matter of roles, and vocations. I’m not talking about a vocation to religious life, or the priesthood, or marriage. I am talking about how He calls you and I by name, He speaks to our very souls with an ardent and full desire to reach an intimate level relationship with Him, and for us to live that relationship in our daily lives. So why can’t we always hear it?
We can‘t hear it for the same reason as Pilate. Our everyday lives burden us down. We get so caught up in the day to day routine, our relationship with God often becomes the hour we give on Sundays. Being a bartender in many ways I am lucky, because the two things people love to talk about when they are drinking is religion and politics. Its amazing to watch people who sit at my bar, and talk about their lives, love, work, financial struggles, etc etc, who claim they aren’t religious…are often times the people who DO hear the call of the Lord, but they don’t realize that it is Him. They don’t realize that the reason they live the lives the way that they do, is because they have heard - and answered the call of Christ in their everyday lives.
How do we know that it’s Him calling? Jesus says in today’s Gospel, “I came to testify to the Truth, anyone who belongs to the Truth, hears my voice.” How do we live in the truth? It‘s not easy, because its not just the noise of our everyday lives that block the call of the Lord, it’s the rest of the world too. There are those of us who have been told by individuals along the way that our sexuality prevents us from answering that call, or that past choices and situations would make us unworthy. But we live in the TRUTH, and that truth is that we are members of this glorious Kingdom, and our King calls to us by name each and every moment of every day. How do we respond? By upholding the values we believe in when it is difficult. By being honest with our partners when it would be easier to dance around the facts. By challenging co workers on work matters when it would be easier to be complacent. But it all starts with acknowledging first and foremost…that Christ is our king, and our everyday lives are our testimony to that Kingdom.
Our liturgy is the example of perfect living in this kingdom. The sacrifice of the Mass, the Eucharist we share makes us a part of “the Christ Event”. It makes us present at the foot of the cross, when He laid down his life for us, for each and every one of us…personally. We then go out into the world, and carry His presence within us. He tells us at the last supper that His blood would be shed “for you and for all”. He says those words directly to you and I. He sheds his blood for us, and calls us by name - AS WE ARE.
As we receive from this altar today, and go back to the daily grind tomorrow, lets try to remember our membership in this Kingdom. Whatever our daily cycle is, let’s try to always live in the truth, weather it be at work, at a bar with a friend, or in our private lives with our partners, loved ones, and friends. We live in a very tangible world right now, but it’s HOW we live in this world that’s going to gain us entry into Christ our King’s tangible Kingdom in heaven. Let’s live in that truth - and not allow our daily lives, or the opinion of others to allow a “missed connection” between us and Christ our King. God Bless You.
____________________________________________________________________
I am sure that everyone gathered here today has heard of the website, Craigslist. It serves as a venue for almost everything imaginable, real estate sales, job opportunities, automobile sales, and just about everything else in between, including a ‘Personals’ section. Among the many selections of whose seeking what there is a “Missed Connections” section. So if in the busyness of your everyday life you encounter someone who you are attracted to, you can post it in this section. I used to always snicker at this page thinking, “why not just approach the person?”
There are so many reasons why people don’t act in that moment when they are attracted to someone. Sometimes it’s a lack of nerve, sometimes it’s a matter of the noise of our everyday lives that makes it inappropriate or impossible to act on that impulse.
In today’s Gospel Pilate has a bit of a Missed Connection. He has Jesus standing in front of him, and his total concern, being a politician, is Jesus’ title as “King of the Jews”. Jesus explains to Pilate with great clarity that His kingdom is not of this world. He tries to present to Pilate exactly who he is, and what’s going on, but Pilate cannot see past this “worldly title”, and his own ambition. So he fails to hear the call of Christ.
You see, Jesus calls to us each and everyday, at every moment. He is constantly calling , and inviting us to come closer, and have an individual experience of Him. This call goes beyond a matter of roles, and vocations. I’m not talking about a vocation to religious life, or the priesthood, or marriage. I am talking about how He calls you and I by name, He speaks to our very souls with an ardent and full desire to reach an intimate level relationship with Him, and for us to live that relationship in our daily lives. So why can’t we always hear it?
We can‘t hear it for the same reason as Pilate. Our everyday lives burden us down. We get so caught up in the day to day routine, our relationship with God often becomes the hour we give on Sundays. Being a bartender in many ways I am lucky, because the two things people love to talk about when they are drinking is religion and politics. Its amazing to watch people who sit at my bar, and talk about their lives, love, work, financial struggles, etc etc, who claim they aren’t religious…are often times the people who DO hear the call of the Lord, but they don’t realize that it is Him. They don’t realize that the reason they live the lives the way that they do, is because they have heard - and answered the call of Christ in their everyday lives.
How do we know that it’s Him calling? Jesus says in today’s Gospel, “I came to testify to the Truth, anyone who belongs to the Truth, hears my voice.” How do we live in the truth? It‘s not easy, because its not just the noise of our everyday lives that block the call of the Lord, it’s the rest of the world too. There are those of us who have been told by individuals along the way that our sexuality prevents us from answering that call, or that past choices and situations would make us unworthy. But we live in the TRUTH, and that truth is that we are members of this glorious Kingdom, and our King calls to us by name each and every moment of every day. How do we respond? By upholding the values we believe in when it is difficult. By being honest with our partners when it would be easier to dance around the facts. By challenging co workers on work matters when it would be easier to be complacent. But it all starts with acknowledging first and foremost…that Christ is our king, and our everyday lives are our testimony to that Kingdom.
Our liturgy is the example of perfect living in this kingdom. The sacrifice of the Mass, the Eucharist we share makes us a part of “the Christ Event”. It makes us present at the foot of the cross, when He laid down his life for us, for each and every one of us…personally. We then go out into the world, and carry His presence within us. He tells us at the last supper that His blood would be shed “for you and for all”. He says those words directly to you and I. He sheds his blood for us, and calls us by name - AS WE ARE.
As we receive from this altar today, and go back to the daily grind tomorrow, lets try to remember our membership in this Kingdom. Whatever our daily cycle is, let’s try to always live in the truth, weather it be at work, at a bar with a friend, or in our private lives with our partners, loved ones, and friends. We live in a very tangible world right now, but it’s HOW we live in this world that’s going to gain us entry into Christ our King’s tangible Kingdom in heaven. Let’s live in that truth - and not allow our daily lives, or the opinion of others to allow a “missed connection” between us and Christ our King. God Bless You.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Isn't It Funny
As I sit here and write today's blog, I am looking at my suitcase packed and laying on my bed, ready to depart to Baltimore, where I will be Ordained a Deacon in the North American Old Catholic Church...the final step on my long and twisted road to the Priesthood. I cant help but let my mind wander and consider how I ended up here.
I can't help but think of the many people who have wandered in and out of my life, that effected my journey to this point. I think naturally of Father Bert, who first inspired me to pursue a Vocation to the Priesthood, and answer the call I felt in my heart. I think of the many priests in charge of my formation in Seminary...my Spiritual Director who has stood by my side, and heard countless confessions from me in the last 10 years. Naturally I can't help but think of those tough times in Seminary too. The days when I considered ditching the whole thing, because I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
Upon leaving I entered the world of the Bartender, a total and complete contrast to the life I had formally lived. I have served countless drinks to countless people. Some of whom brought out the priest in me, some became dear friends, come became lovers, and some were just nameless faces who I will never see again. In the years since I left, life started to become confusing, and seemingly empty, until when the time was right, things finally came together.
Thanksgiving is coming up and everybody starts to take stock. We all begin to evaluate our lives, and naturally begin to think about the many blessings we have in our lives. We acknowledge the wonderful gifts we sometimes take for granted. I think above all I have to be honest that the things I am most thankful for is my friends. It is my friends who have always forced me to be honest with myself, true to my values, and supportive of all the crazy ideas and pursuits I have come up with through the years.
In a few hours I will leave for Baltimore and on Sunday I will return a clergyman. All I can think of right now, is "isn't it funny", because when I got OFF the plane at TF Green five years ago, I never would have dreamed that I would someday see my dream become a reality. The events of the next few days are going to be the most significant in my life to date, only to be topped by when I am made a Priest, which will happen here in Providence, in full view of family and friends. I guess today all I can do is thank God, and my friends for the roles they have played...together...in bringing me to this day. Isn't it funny indeed....
I can't help but think of the many people who have wandered in and out of my life, that effected my journey to this point. I think naturally of Father Bert, who first inspired me to pursue a Vocation to the Priesthood, and answer the call I felt in my heart. I think of the many priests in charge of my formation in Seminary...my Spiritual Director who has stood by my side, and heard countless confessions from me in the last 10 years. Naturally I can't help but think of those tough times in Seminary too. The days when I considered ditching the whole thing, because I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
Upon leaving I entered the world of the Bartender, a total and complete contrast to the life I had formally lived. I have served countless drinks to countless people. Some of whom brought out the priest in me, some became dear friends, come became lovers, and some were just nameless faces who I will never see again. In the years since I left, life started to become confusing, and seemingly empty, until when the time was right, things finally came together.
Thanksgiving is coming up and everybody starts to take stock. We all begin to evaluate our lives, and naturally begin to think about the many blessings we have in our lives. We acknowledge the wonderful gifts we sometimes take for granted. I think above all I have to be honest that the things I am most thankful for is my friends. It is my friends who have always forced me to be honest with myself, true to my values, and supportive of all the crazy ideas and pursuits I have come up with through the years.
In a few hours I will leave for Baltimore and on Sunday I will return a clergyman. All I can think of right now, is "isn't it funny", because when I got OFF the plane at TF Green five years ago, I never would have dreamed that I would someday see my dream become a reality. The events of the next few days are going to be the most significant in my life to date, only to be topped by when I am made a Priest, which will happen here in Providence, in full view of family and friends. I guess today all I can do is thank God, and my friends for the roles they have played...together...in bringing me to this day. Isn't it funny indeed....
Monday, November 2, 2009
Looking Past the Chairs
In the episode of Desperate Housewives I watched today, they were showing how the Scavo family was attempting to open a Pizza place. Due to an ordering mix up, instead of dinning room chairs, 300 High Chairs arrived. The Scavos then spend the day hunting down donated chairs from various places. When Tom arrives for the grand opening he is furious about the random, unorganized chair situation. After the event is a huge success, Tom give his thank you speech which included the lines, "When I walked in and saw all the chairs I was upset because this project had been a failure. Now I see a room full of good friends, and people having fun...now I dont even see the chairs."
Often times in life we need to see past the chairs. We get so hung up on details. At Mass we always joke that if something doesn't go right, usually the ministers are the only ones who know. It was always the details that we would joke about amongst ourselves after the liturgy. Who stood at the wrong time, when the incense came out too early, etc etc. I was the worst of all often times. Every little roadblock that came up I would let slow me down more then I should have, because ultimately it wasn't that big of a deal.
I know I am the same way even now. We had a Halloween Costume Contest at work, and I got all stressed out about the small details of the event...Like where the contests were coming out from, and what song was playing etc etc, forgetting that I was dealing with a crowd of people who had been drinking all night, and odds are no detail would be appropriately met.
You see we do it all the time. When a tragedy strikes we can easily loose ourselves in the tragedy of the moment, and forget that we will get past it, and the next day is still going to come...with a whole new set of challenges. If we don't learn to "see past the chairs", we will drive ourselves insane. Life is far too short to handle it any other way.
Today is All Souls Day, a day when we remember all those in our lives who we have lost, especially in the last year. Those souls can certainly testify to the importance of "seeing past the chairs". If they could talk to us now, they would probably tell us that famous line we all have said, "If I knew then what I know now."
This year I watched a good friend of mine loose someone very close to him, and it made me start to think about how precious life is. We have to fully live every moment, without regret. We can't let the "chairs" slow us down...We certainly will trip on them, or stumble, but we pick ourselves up and learn from the mistake. We learn from those who have gone before us, and recognize that they held the role in our lives that they did for a reason. They sat in that particular chair for a reason.
And so today we remember our beloved dead. We acknowledge the lessons we learned from them and their lives. We resolve to "see past the chairs" in our own lives. Just consider, if we spent less time trying to control things that were beyond our control, how much easier, and happier life would be.
Rev. Bertrand N. Richman...Rest in Peace
Often times in life we need to see past the chairs. We get so hung up on details. At Mass we always joke that if something doesn't go right, usually the ministers are the only ones who know. It was always the details that we would joke about amongst ourselves after the liturgy. Who stood at the wrong time, when the incense came out too early, etc etc. I was the worst of all often times. Every little roadblock that came up I would let slow me down more then I should have, because ultimately it wasn't that big of a deal.
I know I am the same way even now. We had a Halloween Costume Contest at work, and I got all stressed out about the small details of the event...Like where the contests were coming out from, and what song was playing etc etc, forgetting that I was dealing with a crowd of people who had been drinking all night, and odds are no detail would be appropriately met.
You see we do it all the time. When a tragedy strikes we can easily loose ourselves in the tragedy of the moment, and forget that we will get past it, and the next day is still going to come...with a whole new set of challenges. If we don't learn to "see past the chairs", we will drive ourselves insane. Life is far too short to handle it any other way.
Today is All Souls Day, a day when we remember all those in our lives who we have lost, especially in the last year. Those souls can certainly testify to the importance of "seeing past the chairs". If they could talk to us now, they would probably tell us that famous line we all have said, "If I knew then what I know now."
This year I watched a good friend of mine loose someone very close to him, and it made me start to think about how precious life is. We have to fully live every moment, without regret. We can't let the "chairs" slow us down...We certainly will trip on them, or stumble, but we pick ourselves up and learn from the mistake. We learn from those who have gone before us, and recognize that they held the role in our lives that they did for a reason. They sat in that particular chair for a reason.
And so today we remember our beloved dead. We acknowledge the lessons we learned from them and their lives. We resolve to "see past the chairs" in our own lives. Just consider, if we spent less time trying to control things that were beyond our control, how much easier, and happier life would be.
Rev. Bertrand N. Richman...Rest in Peace
Friday, October 30, 2009
Halloween
This weekend the we celebrate what Miss Kitty Litter has always called, "The High Holy Days". Every club, across America, on different nights throws Halloween parties, "Costume Balls", "Monster Mashes" , whatever you want to call it. It's a time when children go from door to door, dressed as their favorite superhero, collecting candy and other treats. Its a time when adults have the freedom to act like children, and get all dressed up in costumes and go to parties. It's a time when girls can dress like whores and nobody can say anything about it, and when men can dress like women and nobody bats an eye.
What is it about Halloween that makes so many people get so much "in the spirit". Even I - who publicly hates Halloween, when the night comes and I am in a costume, and slingin drinks behind the bar - I somehow end up "getting into it".
It certainly provides a nice distraction from our everyday life. We can forget our worries, our fears, our stresses, and enjoy a night of pretty much mindless fun with our friends. It's an opportunity we don't often have in our everyday lives, to let loose without concern, and make fools of ourselves. On the deeper level we re-connect with the child in all of us. We return to the days when we didn't care what other people thought of us. We re-gain a certain amount of innocence because we let go of our pride, and return to the days when life was simple.
Maybe we need that in our lives more often. Maybe we need to more frequently step away from our dramatic lives and become kids again. Life is so complicated, and as we get older those complications only become more intricate. So everybody enjoy Halloween, and have fun being a kid again!! We all deserve it!
What is it about Halloween that makes so many people get so much "in the spirit". Even I - who publicly hates Halloween, when the night comes and I am in a costume, and slingin drinks behind the bar - I somehow end up "getting into it".
It certainly provides a nice distraction from our everyday life. We can forget our worries, our fears, our stresses, and enjoy a night of pretty much mindless fun with our friends. It's an opportunity we don't often have in our everyday lives, to let loose without concern, and make fools of ourselves. On the deeper level we re-connect with the child in all of us. We return to the days when we didn't care what other people thought of us. We re-gain a certain amount of innocence because we let go of our pride, and return to the days when life was simple.
Maybe we need that in our lives more often. Maybe we need to more frequently step away from our dramatic lives and become kids again. Life is so complicated, and as we get older those complications only become more intricate. So everybody enjoy Halloween, and have fun being a kid again!! We all deserve it!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Eyes
On Saturday afternoon I went out for lunch with a friend. While we were sitting there talking I looked into his eyes and was struck..he had the most beautiful eyes I had ever really noticed. As he talked I sort of phased out, and realized those eyes reflected more then just physical beauty, they reflected his inner beauty as well...his innocence, his charm, his humor, and his sincere kindness. After lunch I really started thinking about it, and realized you can tell almost everything about a person by their eyes.
As we age, we worry about the wrinkles around our eyes, or how they may begin to droop. We can tell when someone is drunk or in any way intoxicated by their eyes. Our eyes are a reflection of our years, our experience, our current state of mind, and the countless experiences they have seen through the years.
The Gospel this weekend tells the story of the man named Bartimaus, who is on the roadside begging. He cries out to Jesus asking Him to have pity on Him. The end of the passage reads, ;
"Jesus said to him in reply, "What do you want me to do for you?"
The blind man replied to him, "Master, I want to see."
Jesus told him, "Go your way; your faith has saved you."
Immediately he received his sight
and followed him on the way."
The only thing this man wanted in return was his sight. Our sight, our eyes, are so key to our human experience. It's how we take in the world. It's in many ways the first step to many judgments and decisions we make each day. It's the second step that is so important, and that is how we process what those eyes take in. There was a wonderful quote on Desperate Housewives, spoken by Mary Alice. Mary Alice is one of a group of women who are friends living on the same street. Mary Alice takes her own life in the first episode and narrates the series from Heaven, as she looks down on her friends living their daily lives.
"An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they would only take the time to look."
Lets all open our eyes...REALLY open our lives, and truly see the love in our lives that we are missing, the opportunities we are neglecting, the judgments we made too hastily, and the pain we may be causing without even knowing.
As we age, we worry about the wrinkles around our eyes, or how they may begin to droop. We can tell when someone is drunk or in any way intoxicated by their eyes. Our eyes are a reflection of our years, our experience, our current state of mind, and the countless experiences they have seen through the years.
The Gospel this weekend tells the story of the man named Bartimaus, who is on the roadside begging. He cries out to Jesus asking Him to have pity on Him. The end of the passage reads, ;
"Jesus said to him in reply, "What do you want me to do for you?"
The blind man replied to him, "Master, I want to see."
Jesus told him, "Go your way; your faith has saved you."
Immediately he received his sight
and followed him on the way."
The only thing this man wanted in return was his sight. Our sight, our eyes, are so key to our human experience. It's how we take in the world. It's in many ways the first step to many judgments and decisions we make each day. It's the second step that is so important, and that is how we process what those eyes take in. There was a wonderful quote on Desperate Housewives, spoken by Mary Alice. Mary Alice is one of a group of women who are friends living on the same street. Mary Alice takes her own life in the first episode and narrates the series from Heaven, as she looks down on her friends living their daily lives.
"An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they would only take the time to look."
Lets all open our eyes...REALLY open our lives, and truly see the love in our lives that we are missing, the opportunities we are neglecting, the judgments we made too hastily, and the pain we may be causing without even knowing.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Roots
Today is October 19th, and 46 years ago today, a man a woman stood before God, His Church, and their family and friends and committed themselves to living the rest of their lives as husband and wife. The commitment to marriage is no small one, and it certainly creates many challenges for those who enter such a covenant. On this day 46 years ago, my parents started something they would never be able to imagine would grow into what it has....a family.
We certainly would never become the Waltons, or the Brady Bunch, where everything is delightful and lovely, and everybody have the perfect relationship. Then again, nobody does...no family does. As our family grew and developed many relationships grew strong, and some were subsequently dissolved, but the fact remains that weather we like it or not, we are a family. We share a common name...we aren't the Bradys, or the Waltons, we're the Martins. And that is more then "just a name", it's my roots, it's what makes me who I am.
What’s in a name? We can often tell a lot about a situation just by the way someone says our name. Growing up, I remember when my mother called me by my first and middle name, I knew I was in trouble. Different nicknames we earn along the way are often the result of another persons affection…or lack thereof. When we are Baptized, the priest formally asks, “what name do you give this child?”. At our Confirmation, we are asked to claim a name with which to be Confirmed. When we get married, we take the last name of our spouse to formalize the union in which we enter. Do we ever consider however, what name does God call us by?
Indeed God calls each and every one of us, without exception to live good and decent lives, and live that life as a testimony to Him and His Church, to different degrees. But when He calls us, what is His tone? How does He call our name?
Choosing a name for a child is obviously very much a beginning. We, at the Church of the Holy Paraclete, after prayer and conversation, have decided that we are going to enter a “Year of New Beginnings.” To spend the next year reflecting, praying, and working towards recognizing, and answering God’s unique call to each and every one of us. In this year we will work, as a community to identify, and respond to that individual call God places to each of us in our lives.
It is therefore all together appropriate that we begin this journey on All Saints Day, when the Church celebrates the men and women throughout the centuries who heard that call, and answered it with their whole hearts.
We have officially entered Autumn, a season of change, both in the leaves, the weather, and why not our very hearts. Our parish is brand new, and our clergy are all undergoing changes, not only to their names, but new beginnings. These changes are new beginnings in our ministry, in our souls, and in our everyday lives.
In the coming year our Parish will begin to aggressively insert itself into the local community in various forms of ministry, all of which will require not only support in terms of presence, but also prayer. As we enter this year of New Beginnings let us do so with an open heart. Let’s pray that in this discernment each and every one of us will hear the call of God in our hearts, and answer it whole heartedly. Let’s pray that we will hear God calling us by name, by that unique name whose tone speaks directly to our soul, and more importantly…may we have the fortitude live the answer to that call in our homes, our workplace, and our social circles. Let’s each and everyone of us build that individual relationship with the Lord, to which He invites us. The sacraments serve as a strengthening and bold reminder of His presence in our lives, this year we pray that we will live those sacraments and by doing so, bring the Lord to others.
We certainly would never become the Waltons, or the Brady Bunch, where everything is delightful and lovely, and everybody have the perfect relationship. Then again, nobody does...no family does. As our family grew and developed many relationships grew strong, and some were subsequently dissolved, but the fact remains that weather we like it or not, we are a family. We share a common name...we aren't the Bradys, or the Waltons, we're the Martins. And that is more then "just a name", it's my roots, it's what makes me who I am.
What’s in a name? We can often tell a lot about a situation just by the way someone says our name. Growing up, I remember when my mother called me by my first and middle name, I knew I was in trouble. Different nicknames we earn along the way are often the result of another persons affection…or lack thereof. When we are Baptized, the priest formally asks, “what name do you give this child?”. At our Confirmation, we are asked to claim a name with which to be Confirmed. When we get married, we take the last name of our spouse to formalize the union in which we enter. Do we ever consider however, what name does God call us by?
Indeed God calls each and every one of us, without exception to live good and decent lives, and live that life as a testimony to Him and His Church, to different degrees. But when He calls us, what is His tone? How does He call our name?
Choosing a name for a child is obviously very much a beginning. We, at the Church of the Holy Paraclete, after prayer and conversation, have decided that we are going to enter a “Year of New Beginnings.” To spend the next year reflecting, praying, and working towards recognizing, and answering God’s unique call to each and every one of us. In this year we will work, as a community to identify, and respond to that individual call God places to each of us in our lives.
It is therefore all together appropriate that we begin this journey on All Saints Day, when the Church celebrates the men and women throughout the centuries who heard that call, and answered it with their whole hearts.
We have officially entered Autumn, a season of change, both in the leaves, the weather, and why not our very hearts. Our parish is brand new, and our clergy are all undergoing changes, not only to their names, but new beginnings. These changes are new beginnings in our ministry, in our souls, and in our everyday lives.
In the coming year our Parish will begin to aggressively insert itself into the local community in various forms of ministry, all of which will require not only support in terms of presence, but also prayer. As we enter this year of New Beginnings let us do so with an open heart. Let’s pray that in this discernment each and every one of us will hear the call of God in our hearts, and answer it whole heartedly. Let’s pray that we will hear God calling us by name, by that unique name whose tone speaks directly to our soul, and more importantly…may we have the fortitude live the answer to that call in our homes, our workplace, and our social circles. Let’s each and everyone of us build that individual relationship with the Lord, to which He invites us. The sacraments serve as a strengthening and bold reminder of His presence in our lives, this year we pray that we will live those sacraments and by doing so, bring the Lord to others.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
One Hit A Week
The other night at work we were watching the baseball game, and a customer at the bar said, "Did you know that the only difference between a regular batter, and an all star is one hit a week, if you do out all the math. Sounds like life doesn't it?" The customer had effectively stopped me right in my tracks.
Throughout history there are tales of regular men and women who went against the tide, and grabbed that one more hit a week. Today many have the day off from work due to Christopher Columbas having that same dream. The rest of the world said the world was flat, and he debated it, and proved everyone wrong with his resulting discovery. That discovery grew, and today we stand as a nation that boasts of freedom, hope, and liberty.
Last night I took the first step to be a religious leader in the Catholic Church. Not the ROMAN Catholic Church, but the North American Old Catholic Church. I pray that this opportunity will provide a chance for me to make that extra hit a week. To make a difference in peoples lives, and to bring people back to Christ and His Church who had walked away because they felt un-welcome, and ever since lost that piece of themselves that they have had since the beginning of their lives. In MY life, that was extra hit. It was a step closer to something I have dreamed of all my life. A small step to be sure, however in that same ceremony, I watched two men take vows to the Church to become Religious Brothers. Most importantly, I watched my classmate from High School be Ordained a Priest. Not just a priest, but he is now the Pastor of MY parish and the shepherd of souls, to a community that thirsts for one. Big hits for all involved.
President Obama landed an extra hit this week, in his speech that the Human Rights Campaigns national dinner. He addressed a crowd of people whose daily lives are effected by the laws that govern the GLBT community. After referencing Stonewall he said, "That’s the story of America: of ordinary citizens organizing, agitating and advocating for change; of hope stronger than hate; of love more powerful than any insult or injury; of Americans fighting to build for themselves and their families a nation in which no one is a second-class citizen, in which no one is denied their basic rights, in which all of us are free to live and love as we see fit."
Christopher Columbas held a dream in his heart and set sail across unknown waters to prove his belief to the rest of the world. An everyday guy, who went for that extra hit. The President last night spoke words that provided comfort to us, as Gay Americans, that we should take comfort in the fact that the administration that governs our nation has not forgotten the basic, God given right of equality, that we all share. And on a local level, last night the community in Providence...the larger community, including gays, straight, the divorced, and anyone else who feels abandoned by God and His Church, was reminded by Bishop Michael that God has not abandoned us, and that He never will.
That everyday American about whom Obama spoke, Christopher Columbas who was viewed as a fool by so many, and each and every one of us, who everyday make choices, and decisions that may be challenged by others...we work daily to make some kind of a difference, regardless of how small. Sometimes that difference is made in the work place, in our relationships, or more dramatically in activism. However it happens, we never know what difference we are making in someones life by the simple words we say, the things we do, or the simple actions we take.
The bottom line is, weather we know it or not, each and everyday we try for that extra hit, and every day we manage to get it, and sometimes we don't even realize it. You see, becoming an 'All Star" and getting that extra hit a week isn't always just a BIG thing. The extra hit isn't always the President fighting for gay rights, or a dreamer discovering a nation the rest of the world said wasn't there, or a Bishop speaking out in the face of those who would dispute him. The extra hit is sometimes the comfort of a friend, the kiss of a lover, or when we make someone else feel that we care. Big changes only happen when an everyday person is inspired, and that inspiration often comes from the most unexpected places.
We never know what our actions will do to inspire the next "all star". To live life in the nation that the President described, and that Columbas discovered is not a responsibility of Obama alone. The big changes start on the smallest level. I would be willing to bet that Obama would not be President, the Pope would not be the Pope, our Religious, and civil leaders would not be who they are if it were not for the encouragement, support and suggestion of others. Essentially, you don't have to bat for the Major Leagues to have a shot at being an All Star. I am certain that the President, Pope, and the other leaders in our world would testify that it is only due to the innocent comment of someone unseen by us, that they ended up who and where they are. . . and today all these people are touching the lives of the everyday person, like you and me.
The President spoke last night about the fear of a young gay man, who is scared to come out of the closet;
"Tonight, somewhere in America, a young person, let’s say a young man, will struggle to fall to sleep, wrestling alone with a secret he’s held as long as he can remember. Soon, perhaps, he will decide it’s time to let that secret out. What happens next depends on him, his family, as well as his friends and his teachers and his community. But it also depends on us — on the kind of society we engender, the kind of future we build."
That future is built by US. The everyday person. The Minor Leauge batters, who just might...JUST MIGHT...land that hit, that makes a difference...and the difference they make might make us an All Star. You see, a community is made up of its members, so our communities are only going to be as strong as those members. Lets be a strong one!
Throughout history there are tales of regular men and women who went against the tide, and grabbed that one more hit a week. Today many have the day off from work due to Christopher Columbas having that same dream. The rest of the world said the world was flat, and he debated it, and proved everyone wrong with his resulting discovery. That discovery grew, and today we stand as a nation that boasts of freedom, hope, and liberty.
Last night I took the first step to be a religious leader in the Catholic Church. Not the ROMAN Catholic Church, but the North American Old Catholic Church. I pray that this opportunity will provide a chance for me to make that extra hit a week. To make a difference in peoples lives, and to bring people back to Christ and His Church who had walked away because they felt un-welcome, and ever since lost that piece of themselves that they have had since the beginning of their lives. In MY life, that was extra hit. It was a step closer to something I have dreamed of all my life. A small step to be sure, however in that same ceremony, I watched two men take vows to the Church to become Religious Brothers. Most importantly, I watched my classmate from High School be Ordained a Priest. Not just a priest, but he is now the Pastor of MY parish and the shepherd of souls, to a community that thirsts for one. Big hits for all involved.
President Obama landed an extra hit this week, in his speech that the Human Rights Campaigns national dinner. He addressed a crowd of people whose daily lives are effected by the laws that govern the GLBT community. After referencing Stonewall he said, "That’s the story of America: of ordinary citizens organizing, agitating and advocating for change; of hope stronger than hate; of love more powerful than any insult or injury; of Americans fighting to build for themselves and their families a nation in which no one is a second-class citizen, in which no one is denied their basic rights, in which all of us are free to live and love as we see fit."
Christopher Columbas held a dream in his heart and set sail across unknown waters to prove his belief to the rest of the world. An everyday guy, who went for that extra hit. The President last night spoke words that provided comfort to us, as Gay Americans, that we should take comfort in the fact that the administration that governs our nation has not forgotten the basic, God given right of equality, that we all share. And on a local level, last night the community in Providence...the larger community, including gays, straight, the divorced, and anyone else who feels abandoned by God and His Church, was reminded by Bishop Michael that God has not abandoned us, and that He never will.
That everyday American about whom Obama spoke, Christopher Columbas who was viewed as a fool by so many, and each and every one of us, who everyday make choices, and decisions that may be challenged by others...we work daily to make some kind of a difference, regardless of how small. Sometimes that difference is made in the work place, in our relationships, or more dramatically in activism. However it happens, we never know what difference we are making in someones life by the simple words we say, the things we do, or the simple actions we take.
The bottom line is, weather we know it or not, each and everyday we try for that extra hit, and every day we manage to get it, and sometimes we don't even realize it. You see, becoming an 'All Star" and getting that extra hit a week isn't always just a BIG thing. The extra hit isn't always the President fighting for gay rights, or a dreamer discovering a nation the rest of the world said wasn't there, or a Bishop speaking out in the face of those who would dispute him. The extra hit is sometimes the comfort of a friend, the kiss of a lover, or when we make someone else feel that we care. Big changes only happen when an everyday person is inspired, and that inspiration often comes from the most unexpected places.
We never know what our actions will do to inspire the next "all star". To live life in the nation that the President described, and that Columbas discovered is not a responsibility of Obama alone. The big changes start on the smallest level. I would be willing to bet that Obama would not be President, the Pope would not be the Pope, our Religious, and civil leaders would not be who they are if it were not for the encouragement, support and suggestion of others. Essentially, you don't have to bat for the Major Leagues to have a shot at being an All Star. I am certain that the President, Pope, and the other leaders in our world would testify that it is only due to the innocent comment of someone unseen by us, that they ended up who and where they are. . . and today all these people are touching the lives of the everyday person, like you and me.
The President spoke last night about the fear of a young gay man, who is scared to come out of the closet;
"Tonight, somewhere in America, a young person, let’s say a young man, will struggle to fall to sleep, wrestling alone with a secret he’s held as long as he can remember. Soon, perhaps, he will decide it’s time to let that secret out. What happens next depends on him, his family, as well as his friends and his teachers and his community. But it also depends on us — on the kind of society we engender, the kind of future we build."
That future is built by US. The everyday person. The Minor Leauge batters, who just might...JUST MIGHT...land that hit, that makes a difference...and the difference they make might make us an All Star. You see, a community is made up of its members, so our communities are only going to be as strong as those members. Lets be a strong one!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The Book and It's Cover
I learned a very good lesson this week, that is by no means a shocking revelation to anyone. You really and truly can't judge a book by it's cover. While it's true that a book with a more appealing cover is going to draw more attention on the shelf, that says nothing of the quality of the book. By the same token a book that may sit and collect dust due to a bland cover that attracts no attention, may hold the most brilliant literary art of our time.
You see I learned that sometimes I don't give people the credit they are due. As you all know I have recently decided to accept the invitation of the National Old Catholic Church to become a priest, which I thought was going to horrify my Roman Catholic friends. Some of them are less then pleased, thinking that I have turned my back on the truth in favor of an "easy out" with a Church that accepts my Homosexuality, and still welcomes me in their life of ministry. Some who I was most concerned about however instead responded with not only support but congratulations for my decision. Another person in my life, who I had formerly decided on a certain opinion has recently proven me very wrong, by turning out to be not only a very well adjusted individual, but in fact someone that people should look up to for his loyalty, maturity, and compassion.
I am ashamed of myself for pre-judging people for a few reasons. Between my life in ministry and my work behind the bar, I have been proven wrong time and time again about judgments I have made about other people. The gay community is a small one, especially in this town, and many times there have been people who everyone refers to as "a mess" and then after getting to know them a bit I realize they are not in fact a mess at all...and anyone who has run into me at last call could easily say the same of me.
You see sometimes we forget that people are made up of a lot more then the situation we see them in. They have lives that have their own unique stresses. They have backgrounds that have shaped their attitudes and personalities. Most importantly they have a certain edge, or personality that they display in public, that is not not necessarily who they really are. They have lives that necessitate maintaining a certain public opinion that may not reflect how they really feel, or who they really are.
The bottom line is that we cannot make a decision about a person before we give them a chance. We can't assume that a person is going to feel a certain way about something, before we give them them a chance and tell them about it. I know for a fact that Im not alone in this weakness, we all do it. The question that comes to my mind is why?
I think that it's because in our lives we all experience so much betrayal and hurt that we naturally build walls around ourselves to keep us safe. We learn from being hurt, and make sure that it never happens again. That part is natural, the problem is it stretches into the rest of our lives, and being defensive turns into being pessimistic. We begin to assume that people are going to hurt us, or be against us. We never get past face value. Just as we build our walls, and have our defenses so does everybody else, and sometimes we forget that. Just think, if everybody only operated inside our little bubbles, what kind of shallow, phony universe would we live in?
There's no easy answer, and we are all going to always be careful to not allow ourselves to be hurt, or challenged. However, maybe we all need to let the guard down a little bit. If we open ourselves up a little bit more to the rest of the world, we will be shocked at the good that will come from it, the friendships that will deepen, and the support we will receive from places we didn't expect because we didn't give them enough credit.
You see I learned that sometimes I don't give people the credit they are due. As you all know I have recently decided to accept the invitation of the National Old Catholic Church to become a priest, which I thought was going to horrify my Roman Catholic friends. Some of them are less then pleased, thinking that I have turned my back on the truth in favor of an "easy out" with a Church that accepts my Homosexuality, and still welcomes me in their life of ministry. Some who I was most concerned about however instead responded with not only support but congratulations for my decision. Another person in my life, who I had formerly decided on a certain opinion has recently proven me very wrong, by turning out to be not only a very well adjusted individual, but in fact someone that people should look up to for his loyalty, maturity, and compassion.
I am ashamed of myself for pre-judging people for a few reasons. Between my life in ministry and my work behind the bar, I have been proven wrong time and time again about judgments I have made about other people. The gay community is a small one, especially in this town, and many times there have been people who everyone refers to as "a mess" and then after getting to know them a bit I realize they are not in fact a mess at all...and anyone who has run into me at last call could easily say the same of me.
You see sometimes we forget that people are made up of a lot more then the situation we see them in. They have lives that have their own unique stresses. They have backgrounds that have shaped their attitudes and personalities. Most importantly they have a certain edge, or personality that they display in public, that is not not necessarily who they really are. They have lives that necessitate maintaining a certain public opinion that may not reflect how they really feel, or who they really are.
The bottom line is that we cannot make a decision about a person before we give them a chance. We can't assume that a person is going to feel a certain way about something, before we give them them a chance and tell them about it. I know for a fact that Im not alone in this weakness, we all do it. The question that comes to my mind is why?
I think that it's because in our lives we all experience so much betrayal and hurt that we naturally build walls around ourselves to keep us safe. We learn from being hurt, and make sure that it never happens again. That part is natural, the problem is it stretches into the rest of our lives, and being defensive turns into being pessimistic. We begin to assume that people are going to hurt us, or be against us. We never get past face value. Just as we build our walls, and have our defenses so does everybody else, and sometimes we forget that. Just think, if everybody only operated inside our little bubbles, what kind of shallow, phony universe would we live in?
There's no easy answer, and we are all going to always be careful to not allow ourselves to be hurt, or challenged. However, maybe we all need to let the guard down a little bit. If we open ourselves up a little bit more to the rest of the world, we will be shocked at the good that will come from it, the friendships that will deepen, and the support we will receive from places we didn't expect because we didn't give them enough credit.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Beer and Brothers
Last night was a Saturday night, which in my world is typically filled with the hustle and bustle of work. My brother and his girlfriend were in from New Hampshire, and I decided to take the night off so I could spend time with them. The evening was a major turning point for me.
As my faithful readers know I come from a unique family situation. The family was already raised, at the time of my birth the brother closest to me in age was already 12. My being so far in age was always an issue for me. My siblings and I didn't grow up together, and I always felt like "the kid" in their presence. Last night however, for the first time, it was different.
Michael, his girlfriend, and I sat and had dinner, like adults. We sat and laughed, and I talked about what was going on in my life. Now that I think about it, I was kind of selfish as I didn't really ask about what was new with him. We went bar hopping afterwards, and with each beer I felt more and more glad that I had taken the night off. We ended up at my work, where I was able to introduce him to almost all of my friends, it was a wonderful evening.
What does it take to make you feel like an adult, in the presence of those who could easily consider you a child? What makes us an adult in general? It certainly is about more then turning 18, or even 21. Among my priest friends I was the seminarian studying to one day achieve the goal that they were living. When I left, I felt like the lowly bartender trying to get his life together, while they looked on and offered advice, help whenever they could, and a shoulder to cry on when I failed. Yet I could never look at them and feel like an equal, like a peer. With my family it was the same. I always felt that when I talked I was justifying whatever was going on in my life, offering explanations to people who were higher on life's ladder then I was, and they always would be. Last night was so different.
Maybe it's a mix of things. Part of it was it was nice to hear people saying to him what I always heard about him growing up. Whenever people learned that he, or Steve is my brother they would say, "your brother's a great guy." We grew up in a small town, where everybody knew my dad, and my brothers were talented musicians whose abilities were well known. As I got older I would hear them laugh about "the old days" and share various memories that I wasn't around for. Last night they were able to see me as a grown adult. They met my friends, and boss, and customers, who were all very gracious and said things to HIM like, "your brother's a great guy". "We love it when he's working." I also sat and told him about exciting things in my life that are happening. Not what could happen, or what I want to happen, or what I hope will happen.
The words of Adam, upon the creation of Eve ring very true to me today. "This is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh." This is my brother. We are both adults, and we are both Martins. We talked last night about my other brother who couldn't join us, and my father. We talked about the many similarities we all have. Upon further reflection I realized we certainly are "bone of the same bone". We all have a similar laugh, we certainly have the same hair line issues, but more then that we have the same character. We are all strong willed, sometimes to the point of being stubborn. We are all men of deep faith, in different ways. We strongly believe in what is right and wrong. We believe in service, them to our country, me to the Church, and our father to both.
There have been so many bumps along the way, as I'm sure we could all say the same, in our family. There are many wounds. Some that have healed, and some that never will, but those that have I am glad for. No family is perfect. Many have heard me say that your family doesn't necessarily have anything to do with bloodlines, or legal terms. However there is something to be said for brothers. There is something to be said for two men who lived such different lives, yet somehow turned out very much alike. Michael is the family member who through the years I have spent the least time with, and yet he is the one to whom I feel the closest.
Last night was a delightful evening, and the hangover today is every bit worth it. When are we adults? When we can evaluate our lives and admit where we made mistakes, and acknowledge the truth of the events that have unfolded. The second Reading today talks about how Jesus, although He is God, is our brother, as we all have God as our father. The last line of the reading says, "He who consecrates and those who are being consecrated all have one origin. Therefore, he is not ashamed to call them “brothers.” We all have our birth family, and it is structured around titles that are relative to our origin. We are bone of the same bone, and flesh of the same flesh. In all of our lives those roles play out differently, and that's ok, because after years have gone by, you can sit as two adults, have a few beers and a few shots, and relish each others happiness.
As my faithful readers know I come from a unique family situation. The family was already raised, at the time of my birth the brother closest to me in age was already 12. My being so far in age was always an issue for me. My siblings and I didn't grow up together, and I always felt like "the kid" in their presence. Last night however, for the first time, it was different.
Michael, his girlfriend, and I sat and had dinner, like adults. We sat and laughed, and I talked about what was going on in my life. Now that I think about it, I was kind of selfish as I didn't really ask about what was new with him. We went bar hopping afterwards, and with each beer I felt more and more glad that I had taken the night off. We ended up at my work, where I was able to introduce him to almost all of my friends, it was a wonderful evening.
What does it take to make you feel like an adult, in the presence of those who could easily consider you a child? What makes us an adult in general? It certainly is about more then turning 18, or even 21. Among my priest friends I was the seminarian studying to one day achieve the goal that they were living. When I left, I felt like the lowly bartender trying to get his life together, while they looked on and offered advice, help whenever they could, and a shoulder to cry on when I failed. Yet I could never look at them and feel like an equal, like a peer. With my family it was the same. I always felt that when I talked I was justifying whatever was going on in my life, offering explanations to people who were higher on life's ladder then I was, and they always would be. Last night was so different.
Maybe it's a mix of things. Part of it was it was nice to hear people saying to him what I always heard about him growing up. Whenever people learned that he, or Steve is my brother they would say, "your brother's a great guy." We grew up in a small town, where everybody knew my dad, and my brothers were talented musicians whose abilities were well known. As I got older I would hear them laugh about "the old days" and share various memories that I wasn't around for. Last night they were able to see me as a grown adult. They met my friends, and boss, and customers, who were all very gracious and said things to HIM like, "your brother's a great guy". "We love it when he's working." I also sat and told him about exciting things in my life that are happening. Not what could happen, or what I want to happen, or what I hope will happen.
The words of Adam, upon the creation of Eve ring very true to me today. "This is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh." This is my brother. We are both adults, and we are both Martins. We talked last night about my other brother who couldn't join us, and my father. We talked about the many similarities we all have. Upon further reflection I realized we certainly are "bone of the same bone". We all have a similar laugh, we certainly have the same hair line issues, but more then that we have the same character. We are all strong willed, sometimes to the point of being stubborn. We are all men of deep faith, in different ways. We strongly believe in what is right and wrong. We believe in service, them to our country, me to the Church, and our father to both.
There have been so many bumps along the way, as I'm sure we could all say the same, in our family. There are many wounds. Some that have healed, and some that never will, but those that have I am glad for. No family is perfect. Many have heard me say that your family doesn't necessarily have anything to do with bloodlines, or legal terms. However there is something to be said for brothers. There is something to be said for two men who lived such different lives, yet somehow turned out very much alike. Michael is the family member who through the years I have spent the least time with, and yet he is the one to whom I feel the closest.
Last night was a delightful evening, and the hangover today is every bit worth it. When are we adults? When we can evaluate our lives and admit where we made mistakes, and acknowledge the truth of the events that have unfolded. The second Reading today talks about how Jesus, although He is God, is our brother, as we all have God as our father. The last line of the reading says, "He who consecrates and those who are being consecrated all have one origin. Therefore, he is not ashamed to call them “brothers.” We all have our birth family, and it is structured around titles that are relative to our origin. We are bone of the same bone, and flesh of the same flesh. In all of our lives those roles play out differently, and that's ok, because after years have gone by, you can sit as two adults, have a few beers and a few shots, and relish each others happiness.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Saint Therese
When I was a child growing up, my parents devoutly took me to Church every weekend. Our Church was very small and humble, and didn't have very many statues inside. However the one that always stood in a place of honor at the back of the Church was our Parish patron, Therese of Lisieux.
She was a simple french girl, born into a family that had no shortage of drama, and trials and tribulations. She became a nun the very second the Bishop would allow, as she petitioned to enter at the age of only 15. She lived only til the age of 24, having died of Tuberculosis. Though her suffering was great, she never uttered a word of complaint. Today, among other things she is the patron of the Missions, and people who are living with AIDS.
The determination demonstrated by this young girl is undoubtedly an inspiration to all. Gaining entry into Religious Life is no easy task, but Therese at such a young age was determined to start her life of ministry as soon as possible. Her personal writings document her struggles living in community, her frustration with fellow nuns, and her pain and suffering from her illness. In 1997 the writings of this silent suffering servant resulted in the Church bestowing on her the title of 'Doctor of the Church', a title that has only been given to 33 people.
Lord knows there are many lessons I could take from her life and ministry. My sufferings are far from silent, and mny frustrations with others are rarely kept quiet either. Her determination however, is the quality I most hope to perfect. The best things in life require patience, determination, and sacrifice, but are worth every step. When I would complain while I was in Seminary, Priest friends would encourage me by saying once I reached my goal of Ordination to the Priesthood I would see that it was worth every suffering.
I guess at certain junctures in life we make a choice, we decide if the ends justifies the means. We decide if at this time in our lives, is the goal worth all the hard work. The danger is that we end up complacent. Too often we settle for less then we should, because it's easier that way. That's how so many people on the road to a "career" end up "stuck in a job" instead, because it's easier to tred water then to swim upstream. That's how so many people end up in relationships that are unhealthy, because it's easier to stay then to leave. That's how so often we may fail to speak up against things we disagree with, because it's easier to remain silent then to cause some waves.
How many movements in our nation and world would've died in their first moments if people had bought into that complacency. The gay rights movement, the end of segregation, the liberation of women, indeed our nation's very independence, were all movements that began with a small ripple and grew into historical movements that changed the lives of so many.
The determination of that little girl in Lisieux is certainly an inspiration to all. In our personal lives, and as a nation, we must never loose our determination. Maybe we never really reach an end goal, because when we do, there should be yet a further one. As Barack Obama said the night he won the Presidency, "This victory alone is not the change we seek, it's only the chance to make that change."
She was a simple french girl, born into a family that had no shortage of drama, and trials and tribulations. She became a nun the very second the Bishop would allow, as she petitioned to enter at the age of only 15. She lived only til the age of 24, having died of Tuberculosis. Though her suffering was great, she never uttered a word of complaint. Today, among other things she is the patron of the Missions, and people who are living with AIDS.
The determination demonstrated by this young girl is undoubtedly an inspiration to all. Gaining entry into Religious Life is no easy task, but Therese at such a young age was determined to start her life of ministry as soon as possible. Her personal writings document her struggles living in community, her frustration with fellow nuns, and her pain and suffering from her illness. In 1997 the writings of this silent suffering servant resulted in the Church bestowing on her the title of 'Doctor of the Church', a title that has only been given to 33 people.
Lord knows there are many lessons I could take from her life and ministry. My sufferings are far from silent, and mny frustrations with others are rarely kept quiet either. Her determination however, is the quality I most hope to perfect. The best things in life require patience, determination, and sacrifice, but are worth every step. When I would complain while I was in Seminary, Priest friends would encourage me by saying once I reached my goal of Ordination to the Priesthood I would see that it was worth every suffering.
I guess at certain junctures in life we make a choice, we decide if the ends justifies the means. We decide if at this time in our lives, is the goal worth all the hard work. The danger is that we end up complacent. Too often we settle for less then we should, because it's easier that way. That's how so many people on the road to a "career" end up "stuck in a job" instead, because it's easier to tred water then to swim upstream. That's how so many people end up in relationships that are unhealthy, because it's easier to stay then to leave. That's how so often we may fail to speak up against things we disagree with, because it's easier to remain silent then to cause some waves.
How many movements in our nation and world would've died in their first moments if people had bought into that complacency. The gay rights movement, the end of segregation, the liberation of women, indeed our nation's very independence, were all movements that began with a small ripple and grew into historical movements that changed the lives of so many.
The determination of that little girl in Lisieux is certainly an inspiration to all. In our personal lives, and as a nation, we must never loose our determination. Maybe we never really reach an end goal, because when we do, there should be yet a further one. As Barack Obama said the night he won the Presidency, "This victory alone is not the change we seek, it's only the chance to make that change."
Monday, September 21, 2009
Yesterday while walking through Six Flags, a friend of mine received that phone call that no one ever wants to get. A dear friend, and former lover of his had passed away...at only 24 years old. A young man who was full of life, love, and ignited a room with his personality. As the day and evening moved along, word began to spread. His friends were naturally shocked, and undoubtedly today the reality of this horrific situation has certainly started to settle in.
Although I personally didn't really know him , I do know the impact his passing has made on my friends. It has made me think a lot about life. I have had extensive experience with death in my life. That experience includes family members, a priest friend who meant the world to me, and strangers I never knew at whose caskets I offered prayers and words of consolation to mourning family members while I was in Seminary. My ministry in the Office of Catholic Cemeteries resulted in my involvement in more burials then I can count. No one's passing however has ever made me really stop and think.
I think that we sometimes forget that we are not invincible. We forget the fragile nature of our lives. We let things get to us, and stress us out, that at the end of the day don't matter. We waste energy being upset about things that perhaps are not as important as we think they are in the moment.
When I was in Seminary I remember offering words of consolation. Words that came from a deep rooted, sincere faith in God and Heaven, and everlasting life. Those sentiments however do not take away the pain of those who mourn their loved one's passing. Those sentiments do not bring back the person that has been lost.
Our lives our short...in the end we have no idea how short. So we need to live everyday to it's fullest. We never know the impact we have on other people, and we never realize the impact other people have on us until it's too late. To my friends who mourn his passing, I offer my condolences, and prayers. I also remind you to carry him always in your heart, and live the lessons you learned from his friendship. To all my readers, and to myself, I can only say that we have no idea how much time we have, so don't waste any of it.
Although I personally didn't really know him , I do know the impact his passing has made on my friends. It has made me think a lot about life. I have had extensive experience with death in my life. That experience includes family members, a priest friend who meant the world to me, and strangers I never knew at whose caskets I offered prayers and words of consolation to mourning family members while I was in Seminary. My ministry in the Office of Catholic Cemeteries resulted in my involvement in more burials then I can count. No one's passing however has ever made me really stop and think.
I think that we sometimes forget that we are not invincible. We forget the fragile nature of our lives. We let things get to us, and stress us out, that at the end of the day don't matter. We waste energy being upset about things that perhaps are not as important as we think they are in the moment.
When I was in Seminary I remember offering words of consolation. Words that came from a deep rooted, sincere faith in God and Heaven, and everlasting life. Those sentiments however do not take away the pain of those who mourn their loved one's passing. Those sentiments do not bring back the person that has been lost.
Our lives our short...in the end we have no idea how short. So we need to live everyday to it's fullest. We never know the impact we have on other people, and we never realize the impact other people have on us until it's too late. To my friends who mourn his passing, I offer my condolences, and prayers. I also remind you to carry him always in your heart, and live the lessons you learned from his friendship. To all my readers, and to myself, I can only say that we have no idea how much time we have, so don't waste any of it.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Pilgrims
Bishop Tobin, in his weekly reflection, this week discusses Archbishop Rembert Weakland's Memoirs entitled "A Pilgrim in a Pilgrim Church". Archbishop Weakland made somewhat of a name for himself when in the height of the Church Sex Scandel his own sexual transgressions with a youngster came to light, as well as the cover up that followed it. His book concludes with, "My story now comes to an end . . . Like all the other tales of human pilgrimage it must end with a fervent prayer for God’s gracious love and mercy on such a flawed but grateful pilgrim"
The quote reminded me of similar words heard spoken only a week ago by Senator Ted Kennedy to the Pope. The text of the letter was made public at the final commendation ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery. In the letter he informs the Pontiff that he is dying of Cancer, and informs him of his stance on so many issues. He writes, "I want you to know, your Holiness, that in my 50 years of elected office I have done my best to champion the rights of the poor and open doors of economic opportunity. I’ve worked to welcome the immigrant, to fight discrimination and expand access to health care and education. I’ve opposed the death penalty and fought to end war."
The final paragraphs of his letter admit that although he has not been perfect, his faith has always been his rock, and center. When those words were read I thought they could be the words of any of us who are believers, as none of us have made the journey perfectly. The Archbishop is right, we really are all Pilgrims.
This year I turned 28, and I thought recently about when I was kid, I remember going to New York to celebrate my Brother-In-Law's 30th Birthday. He was quite the man in my eyes. A successful finance worker, with the body of a body builder. He lived in a gorgeous, spacious two bedroom apartment in Hoboken NJ. When you stood on his deck you looked at the Manhattan skyline. He took my sister to the nicest restaurants, wore nice suits, and was all around impressive. At least he impressed me! Then again I was just a kid. I remember thinking, that's what life had in store for all of us, as we got older we would naturally just get better and better.
Who's to say what age we have to be to reach certain marks in our pilgrim journey. Had I remained in the Seminary, this summer would have marked my two year anniversary of being a priest. The day of my class's Ordination to the Sacred Priesthood I attended. I put on my finest suit, and went to the Cathedral to sit and watch them achieve the dream that I had held in my heart and soul my entire life. At the Cathedral I watched with a joyful pride for my classmates and their momentous accomplishment. However in private, I cried. I cried a lot. What road was the right one to turn down for this Pilgrim if that was not the one?
One thing is for certain, life is not easy. For lack of a better word, it frankly sucks. No matter what choices we make we can never please everyone, we are always hurting someone, and when one challenge is overcome, there is another one to immediately follow. When I was in Seminary I thought when times got tough it was God's way of telling me that I was on the wrong track...now I see that is not the case at all, nobody has it easy. There are those people who we think do have it easy, but they face challenges and troubles too, we just will never know them. On the backside of every lovely and beautiful tapestry is hidden the knots, loose strings, and ties that make it up.
So how do we measure the success of our individual pilgrimage? Ted Kennedy's letter to the Pontiff highlighted his accomplishments, no doubt those things contributed to his end of life evaluation. The Archbishop, although he ends his text with words of prayer for mercy, he notes that he is a "grateful" pilgrim, for the many blessings and fortunes he had along the way. Clearly a man who feels there has been success somewhere along the twisted roads he traveled.
What strikes me also is the response that came from Rome. His response came from one of the Holy Father's assistants, in which he said; the pope got your letter, he is sad you are sick, he prays you are consoled, Mary loves you. If I were Ted that response would have been a deep disappointment. When I was a boy, maybe in the fourth grade, I wrote a letter to the Pope. In this letter I boasted of my aspirations to be a priest, shared my pride in my father's life of ministry as a Deacon, and asked him to pray for me. I told him about how I had watch World Youth Day on TV and one day hoped to attend. I later received a letter in return, which came from a Papal Assistant. It infromed me that; the pope got your letter, he's glad you want to be a priest, he prays you remain faithful to your goal of being a priest, Mary loves you.
The response is not much different then that of Ted's. To a fourth grader that response meant the world! I had a letter from the pope. As I got older I eventually came to realize that it was the same generic response everyone gets who sends a letter to the Supreme Pontiff. I certainly understand the reality of the situation, the Pope's concern about greater things, etc etc. However I find it to be ironic, and at 28 years old, I find so often when I turn to the God who I trust and believe so deeply in. . . I am still getting the same flat generic response; I got your prayer, stay strong, Mary loves you.
There comes a point in the Pilgrim journey when we need some kind of a break, where something's gotta give. There comes a point in life when we all begin to wonder when the roadblocks, speed bumps, and stop signs are going to pay off. I guess this is written by the hand of a frustrated pilgrim. However we keep going, despite the weariness. We utilize the rest stops along the way, and then gather it together and keep going. We keep going towards that end that we don't even know. We have our hopes and dreams of what that end will be but we won't find out until we get there.
The quote reminded me of similar words heard spoken only a week ago by Senator Ted Kennedy to the Pope. The text of the letter was made public at the final commendation ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery. In the letter he informs the Pontiff that he is dying of Cancer, and informs him of his stance on so many issues. He writes, "I want you to know, your Holiness, that in my 50 years of elected office I have done my best to champion the rights of the poor and open doors of economic opportunity. I’ve worked to welcome the immigrant, to fight discrimination and expand access to health care and education. I’ve opposed the death penalty and fought to end war."
The final paragraphs of his letter admit that although he has not been perfect, his faith has always been his rock, and center. When those words were read I thought they could be the words of any of us who are believers, as none of us have made the journey perfectly. The Archbishop is right, we really are all Pilgrims.
This year I turned 28, and I thought recently about when I was kid, I remember going to New York to celebrate my Brother-In-Law's 30th Birthday. He was quite the man in my eyes. A successful finance worker, with the body of a body builder. He lived in a gorgeous, spacious two bedroom apartment in Hoboken NJ. When you stood on his deck you looked at the Manhattan skyline. He took my sister to the nicest restaurants, wore nice suits, and was all around impressive. At least he impressed me! Then again I was just a kid. I remember thinking, that's what life had in store for all of us, as we got older we would naturally just get better and better.
Who's to say what age we have to be to reach certain marks in our pilgrim journey. Had I remained in the Seminary, this summer would have marked my two year anniversary of being a priest. The day of my class's Ordination to the Sacred Priesthood I attended. I put on my finest suit, and went to the Cathedral to sit and watch them achieve the dream that I had held in my heart and soul my entire life. At the Cathedral I watched with a joyful pride for my classmates and their momentous accomplishment. However in private, I cried. I cried a lot. What road was the right one to turn down for this Pilgrim if that was not the one?
One thing is for certain, life is not easy. For lack of a better word, it frankly sucks. No matter what choices we make we can never please everyone, we are always hurting someone, and when one challenge is overcome, there is another one to immediately follow. When I was in Seminary I thought when times got tough it was God's way of telling me that I was on the wrong track...now I see that is not the case at all, nobody has it easy. There are those people who we think do have it easy, but they face challenges and troubles too, we just will never know them. On the backside of every lovely and beautiful tapestry is hidden the knots, loose strings, and ties that make it up.
So how do we measure the success of our individual pilgrimage? Ted Kennedy's letter to the Pontiff highlighted his accomplishments, no doubt those things contributed to his end of life evaluation. The Archbishop, although he ends his text with words of prayer for mercy, he notes that he is a "grateful" pilgrim, for the many blessings and fortunes he had along the way. Clearly a man who feels there has been success somewhere along the twisted roads he traveled.
What strikes me also is the response that came from Rome. His response came from one of the Holy Father's assistants, in which he said; the pope got your letter, he is sad you are sick, he prays you are consoled, Mary loves you. If I were Ted that response would have been a deep disappointment. When I was a boy, maybe in the fourth grade, I wrote a letter to the Pope. In this letter I boasted of my aspirations to be a priest, shared my pride in my father's life of ministry as a Deacon, and asked him to pray for me. I told him about how I had watch World Youth Day on TV and one day hoped to attend. I later received a letter in return, which came from a Papal Assistant. It infromed me that; the pope got your letter, he's glad you want to be a priest, he prays you remain faithful to your goal of being a priest, Mary loves you.
The response is not much different then that of Ted's. To a fourth grader that response meant the world! I had a letter from the pope. As I got older I eventually came to realize that it was the same generic response everyone gets who sends a letter to the Supreme Pontiff. I certainly understand the reality of the situation, the Pope's concern about greater things, etc etc. However I find it to be ironic, and at 28 years old, I find so often when I turn to the God who I trust and believe so deeply in. . . I am still getting the same flat generic response; I got your prayer, stay strong, Mary loves you.
There comes a point in the Pilgrim journey when we need some kind of a break, where something's gotta give. There comes a point in life when we all begin to wonder when the roadblocks, speed bumps, and stop signs are going to pay off. I guess this is written by the hand of a frustrated pilgrim. However we keep going, despite the weariness. We utilize the rest stops along the way, and then gather it together and keep going. We keep going towards that end that we don't even know. We have our hopes and dreams of what that end will be but we won't find out until we get there.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Legacies
Today the Nation mourns the loss of Eunice Kennedy Shriver, sister to President John F Kennedy, Senator and Presidential hopeful Robert Kennedy, and Senator Ted Kennedy. Arguably the most influential family in America, the Kennedys have had no shortage of criticism, press, and trials in their time. The scandal surrounding this great American Camelot has been present from the very beginning. A fact that was fore-known by the girlfriend of first born, Joe Kennedy Jr., who was refused a romantic relationship because the family was far "too active" for her to marry into. Clearly she saw from the beginning the threat of constant drama and invasion from the press.
Sister Patricia was perhaps the one Kennedy sibling who lived a life of somewhat quiet reserve, marrying and having her four children. Besides the infamous fates of John and Bobby, the others lives were no quieter. Joe, who died at 29 as a war hero over the shores of England. After shocking her family by marrying a Protestant Royalty, Kathleen (Kick) Kennedy faced scrutiny when, recently widowed, she died in a plane crash with a new lover. Perhaps the most devastating Kennedy tale of all is that of Rosemary, who was a victim of a lobotomy which her father had procured for her at an early age. This resulted in her living in an institution until her death at 87 years old.
Indeed it would seem the Kennedy gene guarantee either length of life, or death by tragedy, or in Rosemary's case: both. As we all know the clouds surrounding the Kennedy name did not disperse with this generation. What followed was generation after generation of politicians, marital scandals and infidelities, and no shortage of legal escapades including everything from attempted murder to rape.
Joe Kennedy Sr., the patriarch of this complex, political monster was perhaps the first seed of drama from which this tree sprang. A millionaire by this 30s, he died at 82, practically a cripple, but the 50 years in between were a testimony to determination. He became friends with President Roosovelt, and Pope Pius XII (prior to his election as Pontiff). Perhaps he would have lived to see his dream come true of holding the highest nation in the land, had he not slaughtered his own political career with his famous "Democracy is dead in England" quote during the second World War. He was heavily criticized for his perceived antisemitism, and finally suffered a stroke, just prior to the beginning of the chain of assassinations that would rock the nation in the 1960's.
God called Moses to lead His people out of slavery to the "Promised Land." Due to incidents along the way, 40 years later he is forbidden to enter, but allowed to see it from the precipice. In today's First Reading at Mass he cries. “I am now one hundred and twenty years old and am no longer able to move about freely; besides, the LORD has told me that I shall not cross this Jordan." He hands on the legacy of this great mission to Joshua, and would die after gazing over the land which he had so treasured. He warns the people to be obedient to Joshua, and to Joshua he warns, "Be brave and steadfast, for you must bring this people into the land which the LORD swore to their fathers he would give them; you must put them in possession of their heritage."
Moses reminds Joshua that it is no small task which he inherits, but rather the fate of a nation. Joe Kennedy stood at the precipice over his Promised Land too. When he realized he would not cross that line his hopes fell to his children. First Joe Jr., who subsequently died, then to John, who of course we all know was the only Kennedy to make it all the way to that office. Each member of this generation, despite their failures, scandals, or infidelities, have just as much victory behind them. Eunice, who we mourn today was the co-founder of the Special Olympics, which started in memory of her fallen sister Rose. Many served the nation as Senators or Ambassadors. As history unfolded and this legacy crumbled it is no doubt that Joe looked on from heaven with a heavy heart, as no doubt did Moses.
We are all led to the edge of our dreams, and we only go so far. What happens next? What's our role? What goals will we reach, and what legacy will we hand on to others. Moses lacked the certainty that Joe Kennedy had. When God called Moses he tried to refuse, he argued that he was not very intelligent or articulate, that he would be a poor choice for this mission. Joshua indeed led the Jews to their promised freedom in the promised land, and then leader after leader had to bring the battle for the mission of faith to where we are today. So too was Joseph Kennedy a carrier of the dream of his father Patrick, and he of his father. What mission do we take part in? What legacy will we leave behind? Which Kennedy will we be? The one who leaves the world surrounded by scandal and inquiry, or the one who leaves in triumph, having made our mark on the world, despite our own faults and failures. This is the legacy and challange that befalls each of us, and that we struggle to achieve everyday.
Sister Patricia was perhaps the one Kennedy sibling who lived a life of somewhat quiet reserve, marrying and having her four children. Besides the infamous fates of John and Bobby, the others lives were no quieter. Joe, who died at 29 as a war hero over the shores of England. After shocking her family by marrying a Protestant Royalty, Kathleen (Kick) Kennedy faced scrutiny when, recently widowed, she died in a plane crash with a new lover. Perhaps the most devastating Kennedy tale of all is that of Rosemary, who was a victim of a lobotomy which her father had procured for her at an early age. This resulted in her living in an institution until her death at 87 years old.
Indeed it would seem the Kennedy gene guarantee either length of life, or death by tragedy, or in Rosemary's case: both. As we all know the clouds surrounding the Kennedy name did not disperse with this generation. What followed was generation after generation of politicians, marital scandals and infidelities, and no shortage of legal escapades including everything from attempted murder to rape.
Joe Kennedy Sr., the patriarch of this complex, political monster was perhaps the first seed of drama from which this tree sprang. A millionaire by this 30s, he died at 82, practically a cripple, but the 50 years in between were a testimony to determination. He became friends with President Roosovelt, and Pope Pius XII (prior to his election as Pontiff). Perhaps he would have lived to see his dream come true of holding the highest nation in the land, had he not slaughtered his own political career with his famous "Democracy is dead in England" quote during the second World War. He was heavily criticized for his perceived antisemitism, and finally suffered a stroke, just prior to the beginning of the chain of assassinations that would rock the nation in the 1960's.
God called Moses to lead His people out of slavery to the "Promised Land." Due to incidents along the way, 40 years later he is forbidden to enter, but allowed to see it from the precipice. In today's First Reading at Mass he cries. “I am now one hundred and twenty years old and am no longer able to move about freely; besides, the LORD has told me that I shall not cross this Jordan." He hands on the legacy of this great mission to Joshua, and would die after gazing over the land which he had so treasured. He warns the people to be obedient to Joshua, and to Joshua he warns, "Be brave and steadfast, for you must bring this people into the land which the LORD swore to their fathers he would give them; you must put them in possession of their heritage."
Moses reminds Joshua that it is no small task which he inherits, but rather the fate of a nation. Joe Kennedy stood at the precipice over his Promised Land too. When he realized he would not cross that line his hopes fell to his children. First Joe Jr., who subsequently died, then to John, who of course we all know was the only Kennedy to make it all the way to that office. Each member of this generation, despite their failures, scandals, or infidelities, have just as much victory behind them. Eunice, who we mourn today was the co-founder of the Special Olympics, which started in memory of her fallen sister Rose. Many served the nation as Senators or Ambassadors. As history unfolded and this legacy crumbled it is no doubt that Joe looked on from heaven with a heavy heart, as no doubt did Moses.
We are all led to the edge of our dreams, and we only go so far. What happens next? What's our role? What goals will we reach, and what legacy will we hand on to others. Moses lacked the certainty that Joe Kennedy had. When God called Moses he tried to refuse, he argued that he was not very intelligent or articulate, that he would be a poor choice for this mission. Joshua indeed led the Jews to their promised freedom in the promised land, and then leader after leader had to bring the battle for the mission of faith to where we are today. So too was Joseph Kennedy a carrier of the dream of his father Patrick, and he of his father. What mission do we take part in? What legacy will we leave behind? Which Kennedy will we be? The one who leaves the world surrounded by scandal and inquiry, or the one who leaves in triumph, having made our mark on the world, despite our own faults and failures. This is the legacy and challange that befalls each of us, and that we struggle to achieve everyday.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Birds of a Feather
Have you ever owned a Jeep Wrangler? Or ridden in the passenger seat of one? There is no better demonstration of the saying "birds of a feather flock together" then that. I have found that Wrangler drivers find it necessary to acknowledge fellow drivers of the same vehicle to blow the horn, or wave, or somehow acknowledge one another on the road. It's amusing to be certain. Today walking home from the grocery store, a fellow bald man chose to stop me (this was not he first occurrence of this nature) and comment on our common hairstyle...or lack thereof.
These are not uncommon situations. A basic part of our humanity is to rely on similarities with other sin many situations. When I was in Seminary we had common areas of the house, designed to encourage fraternization among fellow Seminarians. It built a sense of community among men who were all going through the same experience, who shared common struggles, and who rejoiced over common victories. It is the same in a Military barracks. For that matter it is the same around the water cooler in an office building. We naturally gravitate towards people with whom we share something in common. In the more serious situations we do so for support.
It is for this reason that Addiction Recovery Programs encourage the community angle of their programs. Support groups for widows, gays, the crippled, the elderly, etc etc are all based on the concept of a community driven effort to work together towards a common goal. These are all well and good, but what do we do when the comfort of others is not enough?
In the First Reading at Mass today, we hear the plight of the Israelites who are walking with Moses through the desert on their 40 year trek to the promised land. They cry and wail about the lack of food, and God send Manna from heaven, a basic bread, to satisfy their needs. God sees in this community that fellowship alone is not going to be enough, so He provides more, but no more then is necessary. The cast of vagabonds are only allowd to retain each day what is required for that meal, and no more, as a demonstration of faith that God will provide more when they need it.
If I were walking with the Israelites I would have not found this to be an acceptable compromise. I would not want to play games. In that setting I am not thinking about faith, I am thinking about realistic concerns that face me on a day to day basis, that must be met. I have needs that must be satisfied. I have a drive for the future that must be acknowledged. To me, Gods answer to my cry from the depths of despair would be viewed as Him playing games. Just give me something to eat without stipulations. Just get me to the Promised Land without delay. Just acknowledge the fact that I am putting my faith in you...and let that be enough.
Today I write this blog with that temperament. It is so easy to loose faith sometimes. Not only in god but in Justice itself. In the very natural order of the universe. The bottom line for us so often is, "look...I cant take anymore." When we offer up this prayer we are told that God will provide exactly what we need, and not a crumb more. In the case of the Israelites it means that He will govern the distribution of the bread from Heaven. In the case of the ambitious it is that He will not grant that promotion. In the case of the "underemployed" he will not provide that raise, those few cents that they don' t necessarily NEED, if they eliminate every cent of excess money that they spend.
The Israelites were God's "Chosen People", so why then did He force them to endure so much torture? Why not just give them all the food they need? Why not provide I faster means of transportation across the desert? Do we really have to suffer every step of the way? Apparently we do. Apparently it is the shoulder of others that we have to rely on. Evidently the tiny droplets of water that God offers when we are on the cusp of dying of thirst and total dehydration, have to be enough to quench our thirst.
Why does God play these games? Perhaps we will never know. Perhaps we will find all out answers in our experiences with others, or upon our own internalization. The bottom line is, while it is true that Birds of a Feather flock together, it is only God who gave them the ability to fly. It is also only God who can provide the sky in which that gift can be expressed.
These are not uncommon situations. A basic part of our humanity is to rely on similarities with other sin many situations. When I was in Seminary we had common areas of the house, designed to encourage fraternization among fellow Seminarians. It built a sense of community among men who were all going through the same experience, who shared common struggles, and who rejoiced over common victories. It is the same in a Military barracks. For that matter it is the same around the water cooler in an office building. We naturally gravitate towards people with whom we share something in common. In the more serious situations we do so for support.
It is for this reason that Addiction Recovery Programs encourage the community angle of their programs. Support groups for widows, gays, the crippled, the elderly, etc etc are all based on the concept of a community driven effort to work together towards a common goal. These are all well and good, but what do we do when the comfort of others is not enough?
In the First Reading at Mass today, we hear the plight of the Israelites who are walking with Moses through the desert on their 40 year trek to the promised land. They cry and wail about the lack of food, and God send Manna from heaven, a basic bread, to satisfy their needs. God sees in this community that fellowship alone is not going to be enough, so He provides more, but no more then is necessary. The cast of vagabonds are only allowd to retain each day what is required for that meal, and no more, as a demonstration of faith that God will provide more when they need it.
If I were walking with the Israelites I would have not found this to be an acceptable compromise. I would not want to play games. In that setting I am not thinking about faith, I am thinking about realistic concerns that face me on a day to day basis, that must be met. I have needs that must be satisfied. I have a drive for the future that must be acknowledged. To me, Gods answer to my cry from the depths of despair would be viewed as Him playing games. Just give me something to eat without stipulations. Just get me to the Promised Land without delay. Just acknowledge the fact that I am putting my faith in you...and let that be enough.
Today I write this blog with that temperament. It is so easy to loose faith sometimes. Not only in god but in Justice itself. In the very natural order of the universe. The bottom line for us so often is, "look...I cant take anymore." When we offer up this prayer we are told that God will provide exactly what we need, and not a crumb more. In the case of the Israelites it means that He will govern the distribution of the bread from Heaven. In the case of the ambitious it is that He will not grant that promotion. In the case of the "underemployed" he will not provide that raise, those few cents that they don' t necessarily NEED, if they eliminate every cent of excess money that they spend.
The Israelites were God's "Chosen People", so why then did He force them to endure so much torture? Why not just give them all the food they need? Why not provide I faster means of transportation across the desert? Do we really have to suffer every step of the way? Apparently we do. Apparently it is the shoulder of others that we have to rely on. Evidently the tiny droplets of water that God offers when we are on the cusp of dying of thirst and total dehydration, have to be enough to quench our thirst.
Why does God play these games? Perhaps we will never know. Perhaps we will find all out answers in our experiences with others, or upon our own internalization. The bottom line is, while it is true that Birds of a Feather flock together, it is only God who gave them the ability to fly. It is also only God who can provide the sky in which that gift can be expressed.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Martha
The Gospel today at Mass tells the story of Martha and Mary. They were sisters, and they and their brother Lazarus were good friends of Jesus. The story in todays Gospel tells of a time when Jesus came to visit. Many friends had been invited over. The two sisters behaved quite differently. Mary sat at Jesus' feet to hear what He had to say, while Martha ran around the house getting things ready, cleaning, and being a good host. She quickly got angry that Mary was not doing the same;
“Lord, do you not care
that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?
Tell her to help me.”
The Lord said to her in reply,
“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.
There is need of only one thing.
Mary has chosen the better part
and it will not be taken from her.”
We all can relate to Martha. We spend our days and nights so busy...we work towards our goals, we try to reach our dreams, and we look at other people who are just sitting there, not doing anything, and victory seems to be theirs. Even Jesus tells Martha, "Mary has chosen the better part." Jesus sides with the lazy one, the one who just sits there and success comes to her. He favors the one who just seems to ride wave of life, and the good fortune that fate seems to have dealt her. Yes, Martha is "worried about many things", much like you and I. Life is not easy is it? In fact it's damn hard. We have our dreams, and hopes, and everyday smacking us in the face is reality. We have bills to pay, jobs to maintain and excel at, relationships to foster, lovers to satisfy, and friendships to hold on to. On top of that we have the surprises that come along; car problems, broken phones, banking mistakes, leaky roofs, flooded basements, and everything in between. Parents have children who get sick, it seems to be just endless.
So why does Jesus side with Mary, who seemingly has nothing to worry about. He is making a statement, that to sit at His feet is the better part. Mary has chosen to sit and hear the words of the Savior rather then run around the house trying to be hospitable. At the end of the day, to hear the words of life from the mouth of the Lord is much more meaningful then the petty worldly concerns that Martha has committed herself to.
When I was in Seminary this message is exactly what I would have proclaimed from the pulpit. That we allow ourselves to become slaves to the world, when what matters is the life to come with the Lord. Today however that message is different. Now that I live in the real world, I think that any man who trys to tell me that from a pulpit has alot of nerve, because frankly...life is not that easy.
What the story does not tell however is what Mary did in the background. I presume that she did her share before Jesus arrived, and then just put the rest in His hands. You see, there comes a point where we have done all that we can. There's a point when we just can't do anymore. We have worked as hard as we can to reach our goals, we do the best we can at work, we deal with each challenge that comes along with as much dignity and strength as we possibly can. . . and we have to put the rest in the hands of something bigger then ourselves. I call it God, some call it fate, some call it hope.
We have to draw strength from the areas we have gotten right. We have to lean on our partners who we love more then anything, on our friends who we are proud to have in our lives, and on the successes that we have managed to get under our belts. You see, in the story Martha went wrong because she stopped working. Jesus didn't tell Martha to settle down, or call her out on her business. She stopped. She stopped what she was doing and tried to get Jesus to see her frustration. She stopped working so she could point the finger at someone else who seemingly wasn't pulling her load.
Mary chose the better part, because she did the best she could, and then let it rest. May we all take the lesson from the story of Martha and Mary. We need to stop worrying about everybody else. We can't compare ourselves to other people. We can only do our very best, armed with the love of those who support us, and the lessons we have already learned, once we do our very best, we will be amazed at the fruits of our labor.
“Lord, do you not care
that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving?
Tell her to help me.”
The Lord said to her in reply,
“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.
There is need of only one thing.
Mary has chosen the better part
and it will not be taken from her.”
We all can relate to Martha. We spend our days and nights so busy...we work towards our goals, we try to reach our dreams, and we look at other people who are just sitting there, not doing anything, and victory seems to be theirs. Even Jesus tells Martha, "Mary has chosen the better part." Jesus sides with the lazy one, the one who just sits there and success comes to her. He favors the one who just seems to ride wave of life, and the good fortune that fate seems to have dealt her. Yes, Martha is "worried about many things", much like you and I. Life is not easy is it? In fact it's damn hard. We have our dreams, and hopes, and everyday smacking us in the face is reality. We have bills to pay, jobs to maintain and excel at, relationships to foster, lovers to satisfy, and friendships to hold on to. On top of that we have the surprises that come along; car problems, broken phones, banking mistakes, leaky roofs, flooded basements, and everything in between. Parents have children who get sick, it seems to be just endless.
So why does Jesus side with Mary, who seemingly has nothing to worry about. He is making a statement, that to sit at His feet is the better part. Mary has chosen to sit and hear the words of the Savior rather then run around the house trying to be hospitable. At the end of the day, to hear the words of life from the mouth of the Lord is much more meaningful then the petty worldly concerns that Martha has committed herself to.
When I was in Seminary this message is exactly what I would have proclaimed from the pulpit. That we allow ourselves to become slaves to the world, when what matters is the life to come with the Lord. Today however that message is different. Now that I live in the real world, I think that any man who trys to tell me that from a pulpit has alot of nerve, because frankly...life is not that easy.
What the story does not tell however is what Mary did in the background. I presume that she did her share before Jesus arrived, and then just put the rest in His hands. You see, there comes a point where we have done all that we can. There's a point when we just can't do anymore. We have worked as hard as we can to reach our goals, we do the best we can at work, we deal with each challenge that comes along with as much dignity and strength as we possibly can. . . and we have to put the rest in the hands of something bigger then ourselves. I call it God, some call it fate, some call it hope.
We have to draw strength from the areas we have gotten right. We have to lean on our partners who we love more then anything, on our friends who we are proud to have in our lives, and on the successes that we have managed to get under our belts. You see, in the story Martha went wrong because she stopped working. Jesus didn't tell Martha to settle down, or call her out on her business. She stopped. She stopped what she was doing and tried to get Jesus to see her frustration. She stopped working so she could point the finger at someone else who seemingly wasn't pulling her load.
Mary chose the better part, because she did the best she could, and then let it rest. May we all take the lesson from the story of Martha and Mary. We need to stop worrying about everybody else. We can't compare ourselves to other people. We can only do our very best, armed with the love of those who support us, and the lessons we have already learned, once we do our very best, we will be amazed at the fruits of our labor.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Come Away and Rest
This week in the Gospel, Jesus invites his followers "Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while." I have decided to heed that advice by taking a few days off from work. As I begin my gradual escape from the city, I do so with a spirit of contemplation, and a light heart.
What is it about Birthdays that makes us so excited? Maybe it's the victory that we feel inside for surviving another year. Maybe it's the joy of having something to celebrate in a life that is filled with so many challenges, disappointments, and struggles. Maybe it gives us a chance to stop thinking about ourselves, and focus on someone else, even if it's just for a day.
Birthdays are always a time to think. A time to celebrate the accomplishments of the last year...no matter how small. It's a time to think about the impact we have had on others, and a time to set goals for the year to come.
My 25th birthday was celebrated in the company of good friends, in the Eternal City of Rome. I remember standing on the roof of the Minerva Hotel, and looking out over the city of Rome, I whispered a silent prayer to God. A prayer that will only be answered in God's time. It's like that silent unspoken wish that we make when we blow out the candles on the birthday cake. God did answer a part of that prayer, in Joshua.
Today Joshua blows out the candles on his cake. He utters those silent prayers and supplications to God. He wishes for all the blessings and opportunities that God has in store for him this year. Happy Birthday Joshua. I pray that all of your dreams and wishes come true. Thank you for making one of my wishes come true, and I pray that this is the first of many birthdays that we will celebrate together. As they say in Latin, "Ad Multos Gloriosque Anos!!"
What is it about Birthdays that makes us so excited? Maybe it's the victory that we feel inside for surviving another year. Maybe it's the joy of having something to celebrate in a life that is filled with so many challenges, disappointments, and struggles. Maybe it gives us a chance to stop thinking about ourselves, and focus on someone else, even if it's just for a day.
Birthdays are always a time to think. A time to celebrate the accomplishments of the last year...no matter how small. It's a time to think about the impact we have had on others, and a time to set goals for the year to come.
My 25th birthday was celebrated in the company of good friends, in the Eternal City of Rome. I remember standing on the roof of the Minerva Hotel, and looking out over the city of Rome, I whispered a silent prayer to God. A prayer that will only be answered in God's time. It's like that silent unspoken wish that we make when we blow out the candles on the birthday cake. God did answer a part of that prayer, in Joshua.
Today Joshua blows out the candles on his cake. He utters those silent prayers and supplications to God. He wishes for all the blessings and opportunities that God has in store for him this year. Happy Birthday Joshua. I pray that all of your dreams and wishes come true. Thank you for making one of my wishes come true, and I pray that this is the first of many birthdays that we will celebrate together. As they say in Latin, "Ad Multos Gloriosque Anos!!"
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Goodbyes
Have you ever said goodbye to a friend? We all have. There are any number of reasons why a friend leaves a fold, to return home, to move away from home, work, or just a need for change, whatever the reason is...we have all had that moment, that TV sitcom moment where we hug a friend, and realize we have no idea when we will see them again. That moment when some sappy song plays in our head as various moments and memories pass through our minds, of that person through the years as we say goodbye.
This weekend the Providence Community says goodbye to someone who has become one of our own. Ty. I think until the onset of Facebook, many people didn't even know his last name. He was simply, "Ty", and we all knew him. We all have memories with Ty, and I would wager that we could each write an entire blog filled memories of times with Ty. I personally have many such memories. Those memories range from Downtown Providence, to the Beach, Randolf Country Club, Twin River, Parties, Restaurants, and everything in between. To me he was a very special friend, who I know I will miss dearly. That's why I wanted to write a blog about him. You see, Ty is one of my best friends...and he is one of the few people in the world about whom many people can say that. For most of us, our friendships with Ty began over a cocktail, and a lot of laughs. For nearly all of us, it grew into more then that.
We all joke about each other all the time, when one of us has too much to drink. We like to point fingers at each other about someone being "a drunken mess", or what have you...well we have all been there...and one of the joys of Ty is that he is always the first person to laugh at himself, and if he laughs at you, he's usually sitting with you, and your laughing along with him. That's not because he thinks life is a joke, it's because he realizes that so much of our lives is dark, and heavy, and stressful...so let's look on the lighter side whenever we possibly can.
It is all together appropriate that the Gospel this coming weekend talks about Jesus sending the Disciples out into the world, to spread the Christian message, and further the spread of the Gospel. He instructs them to go out into the world, with no money, armed with nothing but their faith. His instructions to them are clear, "Wherever you go, enter a house, stay there until you leave. Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you, leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them."
Ty carries with him the message of Christ everywhere he goes. The message of Christ is unconditional love, and he carries nothing but love, in his smile, his kindness, his laugh, and his spirit. I don't think I've ever ordered a round of shots with him next to me, and actually paid for it, because he either A. orders first, or B. slaps his money down on the bar first. At fundraisers, and benefits we have all heard him scream, "it's for charity!!" And certainly any one of us who is a bartender in this town, cannot even begin to consider arguing his generosity.
This generosity is never limited to money. I remember sitting at my computer one Saturday afternoon, lost because of a relationship that had just fallen to pieces around me. . . and it felt like my life was in just as may pieces. Ty was online at the same time, fifteen minutes later we were walking down Snow Street, and he was listening to my every tear. He has sat by my side at Church, and joined me in prayer on Church days that he knew were important to me. When I was out of work, he set me up with shifts at his work, literally putting money in my pocket when I was counting Nickels.
You see, that is the life of Christ in the everyday real world. There are the Mother Theresas and the Pope John Pauls, and the heroes of Church history. Then there are the everyday, normal folks, who live the same message, and don't even realize they are doing it...because it's just who they are. These are the people that are the face of Jesus Christ, in our everyday life. No doubt wherever Ty goes in this world, and throughout the course of his life, he will enter peoples homes, hearts, and lives with that spirit of joy that defines his very nature, and in places where it is not welcome, he will walk away...and it will be that place's loss.
Now he leaves us...he has entered "the house of our hearts", and indeed he has stayed there as Jesus said. However he will stay with us when he leaves. Through the years Ty has been for me a very dear friend. We will all miss him, and weather you say goodbye to him at DownCity on Saturday night, or at State on Sunday pray that it is not the last hug. It certainly better not be the last cocktail!
This weekend the Providence Community says goodbye to someone who has become one of our own. Ty. I think until the onset of Facebook, many people didn't even know his last name. He was simply, "Ty", and we all knew him. We all have memories with Ty, and I would wager that we could each write an entire blog filled memories of times with Ty. I personally have many such memories. Those memories range from Downtown Providence, to the Beach, Randolf Country Club, Twin River, Parties, Restaurants, and everything in between. To me he was a very special friend, who I know I will miss dearly. That's why I wanted to write a blog about him. You see, Ty is one of my best friends...and he is one of the few people in the world about whom many people can say that. For most of us, our friendships with Ty began over a cocktail, and a lot of laughs. For nearly all of us, it grew into more then that.
We all joke about each other all the time, when one of us has too much to drink. We like to point fingers at each other about someone being "a drunken mess", or what have you...well we have all been there...and one of the joys of Ty is that he is always the first person to laugh at himself, and if he laughs at you, he's usually sitting with you, and your laughing along with him. That's not because he thinks life is a joke, it's because he realizes that so much of our lives is dark, and heavy, and stressful...so let's look on the lighter side whenever we possibly can.
It is all together appropriate that the Gospel this coming weekend talks about Jesus sending the Disciples out into the world, to spread the Christian message, and further the spread of the Gospel. He instructs them to go out into the world, with no money, armed with nothing but their faith. His instructions to them are clear, "Wherever you go, enter a house, stay there until you leave. Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you, leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them."
Ty carries with him the message of Christ everywhere he goes. The message of Christ is unconditional love, and he carries nothing but love, in his smile, his kindness, his laugh, and his spirit. I don't think I've ever ordered a round of shots with him next to me, and actually paid for it, because he either A. orders first, or B. slaps his money down on the bar first. At fundraisers, and benefits we have all heard him scream, "it's for charity!!" And certainly any one of us who is a bartender in this town, cannot even begin to consider arguing his generosity.
This generosity is never limited to money. I remember sitting at my computer one Saturday afternoon, lost because of a relationship that had just fallen to pieces around me. . . and it felt like my life was in just as may pieces. Ty was online at the same time, fifteen minutes later we were walking down Snow Street, and he was listening to my every tear. He has sat by my side at Church, and joined me in prayer on Church days that he knew were important to me. When I was out of work, he set me up with shifts at his work, literally putting money in my pocket when I was counting Nickels.
You see, that is the life of Christ in the everyday real world. There are the Mother Theresas and the Pope John Pauls, and the heroes of Church history. Then there are the everyday, normal folks, who live the same message, and don't even realize they are doing it...because it's just who they are. These are the people that are the face of Jesus Christ, in our everyday life. No doubt wherever Ty goes in this world, and throughout the course of his life, he will enter peoples homes, hearts, and lives with that spirit of joy that defines his very nature, and in places where it is not welcome, he will walk away...and it will be that place's loss.
Now he leaves us...he has entered "the house of our hearts", and indeed he has stayed there as Jesus said. However he will stay with us when he leaves. Through the years Ty has been for me a very dear friend. We will all miss him, and weather you say goodbye to him at DownCity on Saturday night, or at State on Sunday pray that it is not the last hug. It certainly better not be the last cocktail!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Stars and Stripes Forever
Nothing is free in this world. Usually the things of most value come at the greatest cost. We know that from fashion, cars, homes, even alcohol...the higher the quality, the higher the price. Even non-tangible things cannot escape this most basic principle.
Love has a price. Sometimes we are forced to look at ourselves and acknowledge our shortcomings, and we end up making changes...but we don't mind doing it, because its love...and at the end of the day we are in fact grateful. In friendships, we often may have to eat crow a little bit, or sacrifice something...but again we do it with joy, and we don't mind doing it, because its for a friend. We prioritize things in our lives. We decline a night on the town, in favor of putting a hundred more dollars towards that vacation we want to go on. We opt to dine at home to put an extra fifty bucks towards that special night next week. We may stay in a cheap hotel on a weekend getaway, so we can have some extra money to spend while we are away. We make career choices that may mean less weekly income, but better long term results.
Our faith is no different. Monday was the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul, two men who valued the Christian Faith of greater value then their own lives, and paid the ultimate price for the sake of the Gospel. Without their sacrifice, the Gospel message would have died with Christ, but they kept it alive, and carried to all corners of the Earth. Two thousand years later, men enter the Seminary, and pay a high price. They hand over their freedom, their opportunity to find love, and start a family, they hand over the possibility of living a life of worldly success, all in the name of that same goal...that same High Price Item...Faith.
The same is certainly said of Freedom. Saturday is the Fourth of July, and we remember the centuries of men and women who ever single day put their lives on the line, and so many have paid that ultimate price...for freedom. For our freedom.
What about us? What price is too high for us to be willing to pay? President Obama called on students at Notre Dame University to consider this very question. He reminded them that 163 graduating classes sat in the same seats as them. Many did so in years of great prosperity, and many others did so in years of great peace. He reminded them;
"You, however, are not getting off that easy. Your class has come of age at a moment of great consequence for our nation and the world - a rare inflection point in history where the size and scope of the challenges before us require that we remake our world to renew its promise; that we align our deepest values and commitments to the demands of a new age. It is a privilege and a responsibility afforded to few generations - and a task that you are now called to fulfill."
The president's words to the graduating class of Notre Dame can be spoken to any American today. Not only in the view of our National challenges, but even in our everyday lives. What price are we willing to pay for the things that we want? I don't mean just the cars, computers, novelties, and dinners either. How much are we willing to pay for happiness? How much are we willing to sacrifice? For the ones we love, that answer is easy. We are willing to sacrifice anything, even our pride, for the ones we love. Just like it was a no brainer for Peter and Paul, and those men and women of the Military, it's a no brainer for us to give 110 percent for the ones we love. But what about the more difficult decisions?
What price are we willing to pay to achieve our goals? How much are we willing to spend, of our very selves, to see our dreams come true. My mind wanders to another hero who is honored this week. Father Bert Richman was the priest at my home Parish during my very formative High School years. I have spoken of him before. He was the reason I entered the Seminary. He was like a second father to me. We talked about nearly everything that ever passed through my mind. He taught me my faith, but he did so through his daily life. When I was in my first year of Seminary his fight with Cancer became insurmountable. The treatments had destroyed him, and even when his feet were numb, and he could no longer stand, he sacrificed his pride and allowed us to hold him upright so that he could celebrate the Sacraments. On July 3rd, 2000 Almighty God relieved him of his torture, and called him home to Himself. The day he entered Seminary he gave his life to the Church, for the sake of the Gospel, and his faith...and every moment that he lived until his final breath that fateful day, was a monument to his faith, the Gospel, and the Christian life.
The lesson that Father Bert, Peter and Paul, and the men and women of our Armed Forces teach me is that no price is too high for something that really matters. We are the ones who have to decide what matters, and what is worth a price that high. Are our goals, our hopes, our dreams...are they worth that much? Are they so highly valued that we cannot place a price on them? That was the way I felt when I was in Seminary, that's why I worked so hard to reach my Ordination Day, until little by little it felt like I was chasing a shadow, instead of a goal. That's when we loose hope, that's when our hearts turn to despair, and depression...when the value of these things drop, and we are willing to spend less and less...and we start to settle.
Nothing in this world is free. As we push towards the hope of Summer (even though it should be a third of the way over already), I hope none of us ever forget that. It's only been recently that I have started to discover these high priced things in my own life. It's only in the last 6 months or so, that I have a drive again...for the first time since seminary...to achieve a goal, to reach for dreams, and to be willing to pay those prices for what matters. In realizing these things in ourselves, we can find hope, energy, and a strong drive for what matters. It drove Peter and Paul to persevere through persecution, a fight they did not abandon even when faced with execution. It drove Fr. Bert in his battle with Cancer. It drove, and continues to drive, our Armed Forces. The words of our President are true, each moment of our lives is "a rare inflection point in history", in our history. Each challenge, each speed bump, each reward, and every downfall, is an opportunity to move closer, to take a step. Every moment of everyday we make another payment on that price tag...because nothing in this world is free.
Love has a price. Sometimes we are forced to look at ourselves and acknowledge our shortcomings, and we end up making changes...but we don't mind doing it, because its love...and at the end of the day we are in fact grateful. In friendships, we often may have to eat crow a little bit, or sacrifice something...but again we do it with joy, and we don't mind doing it, because its for a friend. We prioritize things in our lives. We decline a night on the town, in favor of putting a hundred more dollars towards that vacation we want to go on. We opt to dine at home to put an extra fifty bucks towards that special night next week. We may stay in a cheap hotel on a weekend getaway, so we can have some extra money to spend while we are away. We make career choices that may mean less weekly income, but better long term results.
Our faith is no different. Monday was the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul, two men who valued the Christian Faith of greater value then their own lives, and paid the ultimate price for the sake of the Gospel. Without their sacrifice, the Gospel message would have died with Christ, but they kept it alive, and carried to all corners of the Earth. Two thousand years later, men enter the Seminary, and pay a high price. They hand over their freedom, their opportunity to find love, and start a family, they hand over the possibility of living a life of worldly success, all in the name of that same goal...that same High Price Item...Faith.
The same is certainly said of Freedom. Saturday is the Fourth of July, and we remember the centuries of men and women who ever single day put their lives on the line, and so many have paid that ultimate price...for freedom. For our freedom.
What about us? What price is too high for us to be willing to pay? President Obama called on students at Notre Dame University to consider this very question. He reminded them that 163 graduating classes sat in the same seats as them. Many did so in years of great prosperity, and many others did so in years of great peace. He reminded them;
"You, however, are not getting off that easy. Your class has come of age at a moment of great consequence for our nation and the world - a rare inflection point in history where the size and scope of the challenges before us require that we remake our world to renew its promise; that we align our deepest values and commitments to the demands of a new age. It is a privilege and a responsibility afforded to few generations - and a task that you are now called to fulfill."
The president's words to the graduating class of Notre Dame can be spoken to any American today. Not only in the view of our National challenges, but even in our everyday lives. What price are we willing to pay for the things that we want? I don't mean just the cars, computers, novelties, and dinners either. How much are we willing to pay for happiness? How much are we willing to sacrifice? For the ones we love, that answer is easy. We are willing to sacrifice anything, even our pride, for the ones we love. Just like it was a no brainer for Peter and Paul, and those men and women of the Military, it's a no brainer for us to give 110 percent for the ones we love. But what about the more difficult decisions?
What price are we willing to pay to achieve our goals? How much are we willing to spend, of our very selves, to see our dreams come true. My mind wanders to another hero who is honored this week. Father Bert Richman was the priest at my home Parish during my very formative High School years. I have spoken of him before. He was the reason I entered the Seminary. He was like a second father to me. We talked about nearly everything that ever passed through my mind. He taught me my faith, but he did so through his daily life. When I was in my first year of Seminary his fight with Cancer became insurmountable. The treatments had destroyed him, and even when his feet were numb, and he could no longer stand, he sacrificed his pride and allowed us to hold him upright so that he could celebrate the Sacraments. On July 3rd, 2000 Almighty God relieved him of his torture, and called him home to Himself. The day he entered Seminary he gave his life to the Church, for the sake of the Gospel, and his faith...and every moment that he lived until his final breath that fateful day, was a monument to his faith, the Gospel, and the Christian life.
The lesson that Father Bert, Peter and Paul, and the men and women of our Armed Forces teach me is that no price is too high for something that really matters. We are the ones who have to decide what matters, and what is worth a price that high. Are our goals, our hopes, our dreams...are they worth that much? Are they so highly valued that we cannot place a price on them? That was the way I felt when I was in Seminary, that's why I worked so hard to reach my Ordination Day, until little by little it felt like I was chasing a shadow, instead of a goal. That's when we loose hope, that's when our hearts turn to despair, and depression...when the value of these things drop, and we are willing to spend less and less...and we start to settle.
Nothing in this world is free. As we push towards the hope of Summer (even though it should be a third of the way over already), I hope none of us ever forget that. It's only been recently that I have started to discover these high priced things in my own life. It's only in the last 6 months or so, that I have a drive again...for the first time since seminary...to achieve a goal, to reach for dreams, and to be willing to pay those prices for what matters. In realizing these things in ourselves, we can find hope, energy, and a strong drive for what matters. It drove Peter and Paul to persevere through persecution, a fight they did not abandon even when faced with execution. It drove Fr. Bert in his battle with Cancer. It drove, and continues to drive, our Armed Forces. The words of our President are true, each moment of our lives is "a rare inflection point in history", in our history. Each challenge, each speed bump, each reward, and every downfall, is an opportunity to move closer, to take a step. Every moment of everyday we make another payment on that price tag...because nothing in this world is free.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Talitha Koum
The Gospel this weekend speaks of death. the first Reading talks about how death was not an intended part of life, and how it was the Sin of Man that brought death into the world. The Gospel tells the story of Jesus raising from the dead a young girl whose family begged the Lord to bring her back, taken from them so early in her life.
Yesterday the Music world suffered the loss of Michael Jackson. This passing did not touch me at first. Seeing that I was born in 1981, the Jackson 5 was not a huge part of my initial musical upbringing. It wasn't until today when I was talking with a friend and watching the specials on the news when I discovered just all the work that Jackson did for the African American Community. His videos would not at first be aired on MTV because they were a "rock station" and rock was the "white man's music". This statement was made in the 80's...well past the time when so many people had given their lives for the cause of equality. Well past the days of segregated water fountains, segregated schools, and the phrase of "sitting in the back of the bus".
Michael Jackson, despite his bizarre ways, and unique fashion senses, made strides in the equality movement for the African American Community. In the Gospel Jesus says to the little girl who he raises from the dead, "Talitha koum," which means "Little girl, I say to you, arise!". Lets pray that Jesus says the same to Michael Jackson, as he stand before the Lord in his final judgment.
The news today said that he left this world 500 Million dollars in debt, or some ridiculous number like that. How on Earth is there hope for us? If someone like Michael Jackson dies in such debt, how can us, the average Joe hope for any better? Perhaps there is a lesson in all this. Perhaps the words of Jesus apply to all of us, as we face our everyday trials and tribulations..."Talitha Koum." He calls to us to arise. To stand up, despite our struggles, because we only get one shot at this, and we are expected to make every day, every hour, every second count!
Yesterday the Music world suffered the loss of Michael Jackson. This passing did not touch me at first. Seeing that I was born in 1981, the Jackson 5 was not a huge part of my initial musical upbringing. It wasn't until today when I was talking with a friend and watching the specials on the news when I discovered just all the work that Jackson did for the African American Community. His videos would not at first be aired on MTV because they were a "rock station" and rock was the "white man's music". This statement was made in the 80's...well past the time when so many people had given their lives for the cause of equality. Well past the days of segregated water fountains, segregated schools, and the phrase of "sitting in the back of the bus".
Michael Jackson, despite his bizarre ways, and unique fashion senses, made strides in the equality movement for the African American Community. In the Gospel Jesus says to the little girl who he raises from the dead, "Talitha koum," which means "Little girl, I say to you, arise!". Lets pray that Jesus says the same to Michael Jackson, as he stand before the Lord in his final judgment.
The news today said that he left this world 500 Million dollars in debt, or some ridiculous number like that. How on Earth is there hope for us? If someone like Michael Jackson dies in such debt, how can us, the average Joe hope for any better? Perhaps there is a lesson in all this. Perhaps the words of Jesus apply to all of us, as we face our everyday trials and tribulations..."Talitha Koum." He calls to us to arise. To stand up, despite our struggles, because we only get one shot at this, and we are expected to make every day, every hour, every second count!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I Still Can't Dance
This weekend's Pride celebrations are over, and they leave me feeling quite reflective. Although I worked the entire weekend, on Sunday late afternoon, the boyfriend, myself, and my best friend hit the town for our own personal Pride celebration. The evening ended with us dancing at the Mirabar. The club was far from packed, and there was no rainbow glitter falling from the rafters, and the general spirit of Pride had more or less dissipated, but I still felt it, because I was there with the two people who matter most in my life.
My best friend turned to me as we were dancing and he said, "how many years have we been friends?" I replied, four. To which he responded, "four years, and you still cant dance!" I laughed heartily and thought about it. Indeed for the last four years he has commented on my proven inability to dance. It doesn't appear to be changing anytime soon.
On Monday Joshua and I headed out to Bliss Dairy, a small restaurant in Attleboro which is much like Newport Creamery. We were talking on the way about how they used to serve Ice Cream Sundaes in miniature Baseball helmets. As my excitement built about this Helmet Sundae, I was then informed they no longer sold them. In fact, upon getting there, much of the place had changed, including the quality of their food.
Some things change, and some things change the same. Over the years there will always be those places and things that we look back on with a smile, but when we try to revisit them, they aren't the same anymore. They have changed. Sometimes they haven't changed at all, but rather we have, so our experience of them is different.
It made me think of myself. I spoke in my last entry about Pride being a celebration of ourselves as individuals. What was I celebrating? As we danced on Sunday night I thought about it a lot... What have I done to make me feel Proud? Certainly we are all unhappy with some parts of our lives, and we work everyday to improve those areas. I realized I am proud, proud of who I am, what Ive accomplished, the peoples lives Ive touched, the experiences I've had, and the man that I've become. I'm thankful for the people who have been with me along the way, the people who have encouraged me to improve, and the people who have challenged me when I've needed it.
I still can't dance, and I am sure I never will. . . and that's ok. That's what made that moment so endearing, that after four years of friendship we can still laugh about that flaw which he identified in me the moment we first met.
Last night I stopped off at Kareoke on my way home, and my friend sang the Lighthouse song "Hanging by a Moment". The song is about a person who recognizses in himself that he is missing something, and he has found it in a relationship. "I'm desperate for changing, Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started, chasing after you. I'm falling even more in love with you, Letting go of all i've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with you." He finds fulfillment in the approval he gets from this other person. This other person, this love, has challanged him. . . and his ability to respond to that challange and become a better person makes him justifiably proud.
That's what love is. Love inspires us to change, and to grow. I still can't dance, but important people in my life have helped me to change in so many other ways. As I danced Sunday night I thought about how these two men have helped me to change and grow. . . in ways they may never know. So many people through the years will never have any clue how they may have helped me grow. How they helped me see the need to be more responsible, to be more dedicated, to look at myself from the outside, instead of viewing the world through my personal filter.
As Pride weekend begins to slide into the background, and all that remains are the pictures, the hangovers, and the empty cheaking accounts, I look forward to the coming year. I look forward to the many ways I hope to continue to grow and flourish. I look forward to next Pride when I feebily attempt to dance, and am reminded of all the good things that haven't changed, and all the things that have. All the improvements that will come, and the challanges I will have faced.
"There's nothing else to lose. Nothing else to find. There's nothing in the world, that can change my mind. There is nothing else . . . I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all I've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move. I'm hanging by a moment here with you"
The singer has found fulfillment in this relationship, and proudly declares that he isnt going anywhere unless he is told to. I make the same decleration. Those friendships that have stood strong in the test of time. . . I'm not going anywhere. The lover who affirms, challanges, loves, and adores me. . . I'm not going anywhere. I look forward to the joy that lies ahead in all these relationships, and the many ways that they will help me grow. I hope that every Pride for many countless years to come, we will be able to have a cocktail together while laughing about how I still can't dance.
My best friend turned to me as we were dancing and he said, "how many years have we been friends?" I replied, four. To which he responded, "four years, and you still cant dance!" I laughed heartily and thought about it. Indeed for the last four years he has commented on my proven inability to dance. It doesn't appear to be changing anytime soon.
On Monday Joshua and I headed out to Bliss Dairy, a small restaurant in Attleboro which is much like Newport Creamery. We were talking on the way about how they used to serve Ice Cream Sundaes in miniature Baseball helmets. As my excitement built about this Helmet Sundae, I was then informed they no longer sold them. In fact, upon getting there, much of the place had changed, including the quality of their food.
Some things change, and some things change the same. Over the years there will always be those places and things that we look back on with a smile, but when we try to revisit them, they aren't the same anymore. They have changed. Sometimes they haven't changed at all, but rather we have, so our experience of them is different.
It made me think of myself. I spoke in my last entry about Pride being a celebration of ourselves as individuals. What was I celebrating? As we danced on Sunday night I thought about it a lot... What have I done to make me feel Proud? Certainly we are all unhappy with some parts of our lives, and we work everyday to improve those areas. I realized I am proud, proud of who I am, what Ive accomplished, the peoples lives Ive touched, the experiences I've had, and the man that I've become. I'm thankful for the people who have been with me along the way, the people who have encouraged me to improve, and the people who have challenged me when I've needed it.
I still can't dance, and I am sure I never will. . . and that's ok. That's what made that moment so endearing, that after four years of friendship we can still laugh about that flaw which he identified in me the moment we first met.
Last night I stopped off at Kareoke on my way home, and my friend sang the Lighthouse song "Hanging by a Moment". The song is about a person who recognizses in himself that he is missing something, and he has found it in a relationship. "I'm desperate for changing, Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started, chasing after you. I'm falling even more in love with you, Letting go of all i've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with you." He finds fulfillment in the approval he gets from this other person. This other person, this love, has challanged him. . . and his ability to respond to that challange and become a better person makes him justifiably proud.
That's what love is. Love inspires us to change, and to grow. I still can't dance, but important people in my life have helped me to change in so many other ways. As I danced Sunday night I thought about how these two men have helped me to change and grow. . . in ways they may never know. So many people through the years will never have any clue how they may have helped me grow. How they helped me see the need to be more responsible, to be more dedicated, to look at myself from the outside, instead of viewing the world through my personal filter.
As Pride weekend begins to slide into the background, and all that remains are the pictures, the hangovers, and the empty cheaking accounts, I look forward to the coming year. I look forward to the many ways I hope to continue to grow and flourish. I look forward to next Pride when I feebily attempt to dance, and am reminded of all the good things that haven't changed, and all the things that have. All the improvements that will come, and the challanges I will have faced.
"There's nothing else to lose. Nothing else to find. There's nothing in the world, that can change my mind. There is nothing else . . . I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all I've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move. I'm hanging by a moment here with you"
The singer has found fulfillment in this relationship, and proudly declares that he isnt going anywhere unless he is told to. I make the same decleration. Those friendships that have stood strong in the test of time. . . I'm not going anywhere. The lover who affirms, challanges, loves, and adores me. . . I'm not going anywhere. I look forward to the joy that lies ahead in all these relationships, and the many ways that they will help me grow. I hope that every Pride for many countless years to come, we will be able to have a cocktail together while laughing about how I still can't dance.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Pride
It's here again, despite the rain, the GBLT Community prepares to celebrate Pride weekend. Tents are being erected, the clubs have extended their liquor orders, bartenders are resting for a weekend of non stop pouring, and everybody is a buzz about where they are going and what's going on. The celebration this weekend of course is a tradition in commemoration of the historic Stonewall Riot of June 28, 1969, when the GBLT community of Greenwich Village defended themselves against the bigotry and raids they had been experiencing for decades.
The gay community was so ostracized that the only place where they felt they could be open about who they were was in bars, like Stonewall, that were more or less underground. Stonewall in fact was owned by the Mafia, and not even a gay. Liquor was kept in secret panels and in cars outside in the event that the police were to raid them, and seize the liquor. Those weeks in late June of 1969 changed all that. What followed was the formation of Gay Rights Organizations across the nation. Most importantly, what began was the formation of a cohesive, organized, community that transcended generational, racial, and cultural differences.
Now it is 2009, and every year we organize this huge weekend long party to celebrate who we are. To celebrate "Pride". I often joke every year, "what are we so proud of?" At pride we are not saying that we are proud to be GAY, we certainly are not ashamed, but Pride runs much deeper then that. We celebrate the accomplishments of a community that went from hanging out in shady underground, mafia run bars, to what we are today. A community that boasted about equal rights and liberation in a time when African Americans were still fighting for rights. The women's movement was still in the final stages of earning their last few rights. Lyndon Johnson's "Affirmative Action Program" was working out some of it's kinks. For the Gay Community to explode across such a volatile nation took courage, strength, and pride.
Pride is also a time when we remember the rest of the hardships and victories that were to come in the following years. The HIV epidemic of the 80's, which left so many countless lives forever touched, also marked the beginning of a new battle. The murder of Matthew Shepherd in the late 90's reminded us that the whole world is in fact not accepting of Homosexuality, and there are still miles to go before true equality is accomplished. Equality however is not something that is legally achieved. Its not a bill that has to be passed in a courthouse or a statehouse. Equality is when I can walk down the street holding hands with my boyfriend and no one will look twice, because the love between us is just as legitimate as the love between the straight couple walking past in the other direction. It is not a legal movement, its a movement in the hearts of those who cannot bring themselves to understand that God created us all different...different, but equal.
This weekend as the parties tear on into the late hours of the night we remember. Those of us who are of younger years often forget the challenges faced by earlier generations. It's very easy at 19 years old to realize that you are gay, and dive into a fairly large club world, and yell and scream for equal rights. The struggle that each of us go through in the coming out process is different to be sure, but remember the generations before who literally had their freedom, and at times their very lives at stake by setting foot in bars like Stonewall. We have the benefit of walking into an established community. This weekend is about allot more then a parade. We are not trying to rub our homosexuality in the straight world's face...rather we are celebrating an inheritance that had been handed down to us from decades before.
We celebrate ourselves as individuals, perhaps even beyond our homosexuality. It's a part of what makes me who I am but it is not the summit of my being. We all have hopes and dreams, family and friends, a life history and experiences that make us who we are. Our sexuality is woven through those things. That's why Pride is such a special weekend. We see those faces that at one time may have been a regular part of our lives, and we run into them at pride and share that brief, but moving encounter. "Oh my god how have you been?? Where are you living now???" Etc etc etc. Those who are celebrating their first Pride undoubtedly will establish memories that they will remember for years to come. Those of us who it isn't our first Pride will undoubtedly do all the remembering..."Remember last year when we did this, or we did that."
Pride is about so much more then a parade. It's about us, as individuals...because individuals are what makes up a community. So this weekend celebrate YOU. Celebrate the past that has made you the person you are, celebrate the people who have come and gone. Celebrate the people who have come and STAYED....because those people seem to be so few. Celebrate your lover, and the difference he/she has made in your life. That line from Queer as Folk comes to mind, "Mourn the losses because there will be plenty, but celebrate the victories, because there are so few." The losses however, are what makes the victories so sweet. So maybe we should celebrate those too, because they too played a part in the reality we live in.
Whatever you do this weekend, have a safe, and happy (despite the threat of rain) Pride 2009!!
The gay community was so ostracized that the only place where they felt they could be open about who they were was in bars, like Stonewall, that were more or less underground. Stonewall in fact was owned by the Mafia, and not even a gay. Liquor was kept in secret panels and in cars outside in the event that the police were to raid them, and seize the liquor. Those weeks in late June of 1969 changed all that. What followed was the formation of Gay Rights Organizations across the nation. Most importantly, what began was the formation of a cohesive, organized, community that transcended generational, racial, and cultural differences.
Now it is 2009, and every year we organize this huge weekend long party to celebrate who we are. To celebrate "Pride". I often joke every year, "what are we so proud of?" At pride we are not saying that we are proud to be GAY, we certainly are not ashamed, but Pride runs much deeper then that. We celebrate the accomplishments of a community that went from hanging out in shady underground, mafia run bars, to what we are today. A community that boasted about equal rights and liberation in a time when African Americans were still fighting for rights. The women's movement was still in the final stages of earning their last few rights. Lyndon Johnson's "Affirmative Action Program" was working out some of it's kinks. For the Gay Community to explode across such a volatile nation took courage, strength, and pride.
Pride is also a time when we remember the rest of the hardships and victories that were to come in the following years. The HIV epidemic of the 80's, which left so many countless lives forever touched, also marked the beginning of a new battle. The murder of Matthew Shepherd in the late 90's reminded us that the whole world is in fact not accepting of Homosexuality, and there are still miles to go before true equality is accomplished. Equality however is not something that is legally achieved. Its not a bill that has to be passed in a courthouse or a statehouse. Equality is when I can walk down the street holding hands with my boyfriend and no one will look twice, because the love between us is just as legitimate as the love between the straight couple walking past in the other direction. It is not a legal movement, its a movement in the hearts of those who cannot bring themselves to understand that God created us all different...different, but equal.
This weekend as the parties tear on into the late hours of the night we remember. Those of us who are of younger years often forget the challenges faced by earlier generations. It's very easy at 19 years old to realize that you are gay, and dive into a fairly large club world, and yell and scream for equal rights. The struggle that each of us go through in the coming out process is different to be sure, but remember the generations before who literally had their freedom, and at times their very lives at stake by setting foot in bars like Stonewall. We have the benefit of walking into an established community. This weekend is about allot more then a parade. We are not trying to rub our homosexuality in the straight world's face...rather we are celebrating an inheritance that had been handed down to us from decades before.
We celebrate ourselves as individuals, perhaps even beyond our homosexuality. It's a part of what makes me who I am but it is not the summit of my being. We all have hopes and dreams, family and friends, a life history and experiences that make us who we are. Our sexuality is woven through those things. That's why Pride is such a special weekend. We see those faces that at one time may have been a regular part of our lives, and we run into them at pride and share that brief, but moving encounter. "Oh my god how have you been?? Where are you living now???" Etc etc etc. Those who are celebrating their first Pride undoubtedly will establish memories that they will remember for years to come. Those of us who it isn't our first Pride will undoubtedly do all the remembering..."Remember last year when we did this, or we did that."
Pride is about so much more then a parade. It's about us, as individuals...because individuals are what makes up a community. So this weekend celebrate YOU. Celebrate the past that has made you the person you are, celebrate the people who have come and gone. Celebrate the people who have come and STAYED....because those people seem to be so few. Celebrate your lover, and the difference he/she has made in your life. That line from Queer as Folk comes to mind, "Mourn the losses because there will be plenty, but celebrate the victories, because there are so few." The losses however, are what makes the victories so sweet. So maybe we should celebrate those too, because they too played a part in the reality we live in.
Whatever you do this weekend, have a safe, and happy (despite the threat of rain) Pride 2009!!
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