This weekend the we celebrate what Miss Kitty Litter has always called, "The High Holy Days". Every club, across America, on different nights throws Halloween parties, "Costume Balls", "Monster Mashes" , whatever you want to call it. It's a time when children go from door to door, dressed as their favorite superhero, collecting candy and other treats. Its a time when adults have the freedom to act like children, and get all dressed up in costumes and go to parties. It's a time when girls can dress like whores and nobody can say anything about it, and when men can dress like women and nobody bats an eye.
What is it about Halloween that makes so many people get so much "in the spirit". Even I - who publicly hates Halloween, when the night comes and I am in a costume, and slingin drinks behind the bar - I somehow end up "getting into it".
It certainly provides a nice distraction from our everyday life. We can forget our worries, our fears, our stresses, and enjoy a night of pretty much mindless fun with our friends. It's an opportunity we don't often have in our everyday lives, to let loose without concern, and make fools of ourselves. On the deeper level we re-connect with the child in all of us. We return to the days when we didn't care what other people thought of us. We re-gain a certain amount of innocence because we let go of our pride, and return to the days when life was simple.
Maybe we need that in our lives more often. Maybe we need to more frequently step away from our dramatic lives and become kids again. Life is so complicated, and as we get older those complications only become more intricate. So everybody enjoy Halloween, and have fun being a kid again!! We all deserve it!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Eyes
On Saturday afternoon I went out for lunch with a friend. While we were sitting there talking I looked into his eyes and was struck..he had the most beautiful eyes I had ever really noticed. As he talked I sort of phased out, and realized those eyes reflected more then just physical beauty, they reflected his inner beauty as well...his innocence, his charm, his humor, and his sincere kindness. After lunch I really started thinking about it, and realized you can tell almost everything about a person by their eyes.
As we age, we worry about the wrinkles around our eyes, or how they may begin to droop. We can tell when someone is drunk or in any way intoxicated by their eyes. Our eyes are a reflection of our years, our experience, our current state of mind, and the countless experiences they have seen through the years.
The Gospel this weekend tells the story of the man named Bartimaus, who is on the roadside begging. He cries out to Jesus asking Him to have pity on Him. The end of the passage reads, ;
"Jesus said to him in reply, "What do you want me to do for you?"
The blind man replied to him, "Master, I want to see."
Jesus told him, "Go your way; your faith has saved you."
Immediately he received his sight
and followed him on the way."
The only thing this man wanted in return was his sight. Our sight, our eyes, are so key to our human experience. It's how we take in the world. It's in many ways the first step to many judgments and decisions we make each day. It's the second step that is so important, and that is how we process what those eyes take in. There was a wonderful quote on Desperate Housewives, spoken by Mary Alice. Mary Alice is one of a group of women who are friends living on the same street. Mary Alice takes her own life in the first episode and narrates the series from Heaven, as she looks down on her friends living their daily lives.
"An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they would only take the time to look."
Lets all open our eyes...REALLY open our lives, and truly see the love in our lives that we are missing, the opportunities we are neglecting, the judgments we made too hastily, and the pain we may be causing without even knowing.
As we age, we worry about the wrinkles around our eyes, or how they may begin to droop. We can tell when someone is drunk or in any way intoxicated by their eyes. Our eyes are a reflection of our years, our experience, our current state of mind, and the countless experiences they have seen through the years.
The Gospel this weekend tells the story of the man named Bartimaus, who is on the roadside begging. He cries out to Jesus asking Him to have pity on Him. The end of the passage reads, ;
"Jesus said to him in reply, "What do you want me to do for you?"
The blind man replied to him, "Master, I want to see."
Jesus told him, "Go your way; your faith has saved you."
Immediately he received his sight
and followed him on the way."
The only thing this man wanted in return was his sight. Our sight, our eyes, are so key to our human experience. It's how we take in the world. It's in many ways the first step to many judgments and decisions we make each day. It's the second step that is so important, and that is how we process what those eyes take in. There was a wonderful quote on Desperate Housewives, spoken by Mary Alice. Mary Alice is one of a group of women who are friends living on the same street. Mary Alice takes her own life in the first episode and narrates the series from Heaven, as she looks down on her friends living their daily lives.
"An odd thing happens when we die, our senses vanish. Taste, touch, smell and sound become a distant memory, but our sight? Ah, our sight expands and we can suddenly see the world we left behind so clearly. Of course most of what's visible to the dead could also be seen by the living, if they would only take the time to look."
Lets all open our eyes...REALLY open our lives, and truly see the love in our lives that we are missing, the opportunities we are neglecting, the judgments we made too hastily, and the pain we may be causing without even knowing.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Roots
Today is October 19th, and 46 years ago today, a man a woman stood before God, His Church, and their family and friends and committed themselves to living the rest of their lives as husband and wife. The commitment to marriage is no small one, and it certainly creates many challenges for those who enter such a covenant. On this day 46 years ago, my parents started something they would never be able to imagine would grow into what it has....a family.
We certainly would never become the Waltons, or the Brady Bunch, where everything is delightful and lovely, and everybody have the perfect relationship. Then again, nobody does...no family does. As our family grew and developed many relationships grew strong, and some were subsequently dissolved, but the fact remains that weather we like it or not, we are a family. We share a common name...we aren't the Bradys, or the Waltons, we're the Martins. And that is more then "just a name", it's my roots, it's what makes me who I am.
What’s in a name? We can often tell a lot about a situation just by the way someone says our name. Growing up, I remember when my mother called me by my first and middle name, I knew I was in trouble. Different nicknames we earn along the way are often the result of another persons affection…or lack thereof. When we are Baptized, the priest formally asks, “what name do you give this child?”. At our Confirmation, we are asked to claim a name with which to be Confirmed. When we get married, we take the last name of our spouse to formalize the union in which we enter. Do we ever consider however, what name does God call us by?
Indeed God calls each and every one of us, without exception to live good and decent lives, and live that life as a testimony to Him and His Church, to different degrees. But when He calls us, what is His tone? How does He call our name?
Choosing a name for a child is obviously very much a beginning. We, at the Church of the Holy Paraclete, after prayer and conversation, have decided that we are going to enter a “Year of New Beginnings.” To spend the next year reflecting, praying, and working towards recognizing, and answering God’s unique call to each and every one of us. In this year we will work, as a community to identify, and respond to that individual call God places to each of us in our lives.
It is therefore all together appropriate that we begin this journey on All Saints Day, when the Church celebrates the men and women throughout the centuries who heard that call, and answered it with their whole hearts.
We have officially entered Autumn, a season of change, both in the leaves, the weather, and why not our very hearts. Our parish is brand new, and our clergy are all undergoing changes, not only to their names, but new beginnings. These changes are new beginnings in our ministry, in our souls, and in our everyday lives.
In the coming year our Parish will begin to aggressively insert itself into the local community in various forms of ministry, all of which will require not only support in terms of presence, but also prayer. As we enter this year of New Beginnings let us do so with an open heart. Let’s pray that in this discernment each and every one of us will hear the call of God in our hearts, and answer it whole heartedly. Let’s pray that we will hear God calling us by name, by that unique name whose tone speaks directly to our soul, and more importantly…may we have the fortitude live the answer to that call in our homes, our workplace, and our social circles. Let’s each and everyone of us build that individual relationship with the Lord, to which He invites us. The sacraments serve as a strengthening and bold reminder of His presence in our lives, this year we pray that we will live those sacraments and by doing so, bring the Lord to others.
We certainly would never become the Waltons, or the Brady Bunch, where everything is delightful and lovely, and everybody have the perfect relationship. Then again, nobody does...no family does. As our family grew and developed many relationships grew strong, and some were subsequently dissolved, but the fact remains that weather we like it or not, we are a family. We share a common name...we aren't the Bradys, or the Waltons, we're the Martins. And that is more then "just a name", it's my roots, it's what makes me who I am.
What’s in a name? We can often tell a lot about a situation just by the way someone says our name. Growing up, I remember when my mother called me by my first and middle name, I knew I was in trouble. Different nicknames we earn along the way are often the result of another persons affection…or lack thereof. When we are Baptized, the priest formally asks, “what name do you give this child?”. At our Confirmation, we are asked to claim a name with which to be Confirmed. When we get married, we take the last name of our spouse to formalize the union in which we enter. Do we ever consider however, what name does God call us by?
Indeed God calls each and every one of us, without exception to live good and decent lives, and live that life as a testimony to Him and His Church, to different degrees. But when He calls us, what is His tone? How does He call our name?
Choosing a name for a child is obviously very much a beginning. We, at the Church of the Holy Paraclete, after prayer and conversation, have decided that we are going to enter a “Year of New Beginnings.” To spend the next year reflecting, praying, and working towards recognizing, and answering God’s unique call to each and every one of us. In this year we will work, as a community to identify, and respond to that individual call God places to each of us in our lives.
It is therefore all together appropriate that we begin this journey on All Saints Day, when the Church celebrates the men and women throughout the centuries who heard that call, and answered it with their whole hearts.
We have officially entered Autumn, a season of change, both in the leaves, the weather, and why not our very hearts. Our parish is brand new, and our clergy are all undergoing changes, not only to their names, but new beginnings. These changes are new beginnings in our ministry, in our souls, and in our everyday lives.
In the coming year our Parish will begin to aggressively insert itself into the local community in various forms of ministry, all of which will require not only support in terms of presence, but also prayer. As we enter this year of New Beginnings let us do so with an open heart. Let’s pray that in this discernment each and every one of us will hear the call of God in our hearts, and answer it whole heartedly. Let’s pray that we will hear God calling us by name, by that unique name whose tone speaks directly to our soul, and more importantly…may we have the fortitude live the answer to that call in our homes, our workplace, and our social circles. Let’s each and everyone of us build that individual relationship with the Lord, to which He invites us. The sacraments serve as a strengthening and bold reminder of His presence in our lives, this year we pray that we will live those sacraments and by doing so, bring the Lord to others.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
One Hit A Week
The other night at work we were watching the baseball game, and a customer at the bar said, "Did you know that the only difference between a regular batter, and an all star is one hit a week, if you do out all the math. Sounds like life doesn't it?" The customer had effectively stopped me right in my tracks.
Throughout history there are tales of regular men and women who went against the tide, and grabbed that one more hit a week. Today many have the day off from work due to Christopher Columbas having that same dream. The rest of the world said the world was flat, and he debated it, and proved everyone wrong with his resulting discovery. That discovery grew, and today we stand as a nation that boasts of freedom, hope, and liberty.
Last night I took the first step to be a religious leader in the Catholic Church. Not the ROMAN Catholic Church, but the North American Old Catholic Church. I pray that this opportunity will provide a chance for me to make that extra hit a week. To make a difference in peoples lives, and to bring people back to Christ and His Church who had walked away because they felt un-welcome, and ever since lost that piece of themselves that they have had since the beginning of their lives. In MY life, that was extra hit. It was a step closer to something I have dreamed of all my life. A small step to be sure, however in that same ceremony, I watched two men take vows to the Church to become Religious Brothers. Most importantly, I watched my classmate from High School be Ordained a Priest. Not just a priest, but he is now the Pastor of MY parish and the shepherd of souls, to a community that thirsts for one. Big hits for all involved.
President Obama landed an extra hit this week, in his speech that the Human Rights Campaigns national dinner. He addressed a crowd of people whose daily lives are effected by the laws that govern the GLBT community. After referencing Stonewall he said, "That’s the story of America: of ordinary citizens organizing, agitating and advocating for change; of hope stronger than hate; of love more powerful than any insult or injury; of Americans fighting to build for themselves and their families a nation in which no one is a second-class citizen, in which no one is denied their basic rights, in which all of us are free to live and love as we see fit."
Christopher Columbas held a dream in his heart and set sail across unknown waters to prove his belief to the rest of the world. An everyday guy, who went for that extra hit. The President last night spoke words that provided comfort to us, as Gay Americans, that we should take comfort in the fact that the administration that governs our nation has not forgotten the basic, God given right of equality, that we all share. And on a local level, last night the community in Providence...the larger community, including gays, straight, the divorced, and anyone else who feels abandoned by God and His Church, was reminded by Bishop Michael that God has not abandoned us, and that He never will.
That everyday American about whom Obama spoke, Christopher Columbas who was viewed as a fool by so many, and each and every one of us, who everyday make choices, and decisions that may be challenged by others...we work daily to make some kind of a difference, regardless of how small. Sometimes that difference is made in the work place, in our relationships, or more dramatically in activism. However it happens, we never know what difference we are making in someones life by the simple words we say, the things we do, or the simple actions we take.
The bottom line is, weather we know it or not, each and everyday we try for that extra hit, and every day we manage to get it, and sometimes we don't even realize it. You see, becoming an 'All Star" and getting that extra hit a week isn't always just a BIG thing. The extra hit isn't always the President fighting for gay rights, or a dreamer discovering a nation the rest of the world said wasn't there, or a Bishop speaking out in the face of those who would dispute him. The extra hit is sometimes the comfort of a friend, the kiss of a lover, or when we make someone else feel that we care. Big changes only happen when an everyday person is inspired, and that inspiration often comes from the most unexpected places.
We never know what our actions will do to inspire the next "all star". To live life in the nation that the President described, and that Columbas discovered is not a responsibility of Obama alone. The big changes start on the smallest level. I would be willing to bet that Obama would not be President, the Pope would not be the Pope, our Religious, and civil leaders would not be who they are if it were not for the encouragement, support and suggestion of others. Essentially, you don't have to bat for the Major Leagues to have a shot at being an All Star. I am certain that the President, Pope, and the other leaders in our world would testify that it is only due to the innocent comment of someone unseen by us, that they ended up who and where they are. . . and today all these people are touching the lives of the everyday person, like you and me.
The President spoke last night about the fear of a young gay man, who is scared to come out of the closet;
"Tonight, somewhere in America, a young person, let’s say a young man, will struggle to fall to sleep, wrestling alone with a secret he’s held as long as he can remember. Soon, perhaps, he will decide it’s time to let that secret out. What happens next depends on him, his family, as well as his friends and his teachers and his community. But it also depends on us — on the kind of society we engender, the kind of future we build."
That future is built by US. The everyday person. The Minor Leauge batters, who just might...JUST MIGHT...land that hit, that makes a difference...and the difference they make might make us an All Star. You see, a community is made up of its members, so our communities are only going to be as strong as those members. Lets be a strong one!
Throughout history there are tales of regular men and women who went against the tide, and grabbed that one more hit a week. Today many have the day off from work due to Christopher Columbas having that same dream. The rest of the world said the world was flat, and he debated it, and proved everyone wrong with his resulting discovery. That discovery grew, and today we stand as a nation that boasts of freedom, hope, and liberty.
Last night I took the first step to be a religious leader in the Catholic Church. Not the ROMAN Catholic Church, but the North American Old Catholic Church. I pray that this opportunity will provide a chance for me to make that extra hit a week. To make a difference in peoples lives, and to bring people back to Christ and His Church who had walked away because they felt un-welcome, and ever since lost that piece of themselves that they have had since the beginning of their lives. In MY life, that was extra hit. It was a step closer to something I have dreamed of all my life. A small step to be sure, however in that same ceremony, I watched two men take vows to the Church to become Religious Brothers. Most importantly, I watched my classmate from High School be Ordained a Priest. Not just a priest, but he is now the Pastor of MY parish and the shepherd of souls, to a community that thirsts for one. Big hits for all involved.
President Obama landed an extra hit this week, in his speech that the Human Rights Campaigns national dinner. He addressed a crowd of people whose daily lives are effected by the laws that govern the GLBT community. After referencing Stonewall he said, "That’s the story of America: of ordinary citizens organizing, agitating and advocating for change; of hope stronger than hate; of love more powerful than any insult or injury; of Americans fighting to build for themselves and their families a nation in which no one is a second-class citizen, in which no one is denied their basic rights, in which all of us are free to live and love as we see fit."
Christopher Columbas held a dream in his heart and set sail across unknown waters to prove his belief to the rest of the world. An everyday guy, who went for that extra hit. The President last night spoke words that provided comfort to us, as Gay Americans, that we should take comfort in the fact that the administration that governs our nation has not forgotten the basic, God given right of equality, that we all share. And on a local level, last night the community in Providence...the larger community, including gays, straight, the divorced, and anyone else who feels abandoned by God and His Church, was reminded by Bishop Michael that God has not abandoned us, and that He never will.
That everyday American about whom Obama spoke, Christopher Columbas who was viewed as a fool by so many, and each and every one of us, who everyday make choices, and decisions that may be challenged by others...we work daily to make some kind of a difference, regardless of how small. Sometimes that difference is made in the work place, in our relationships, or more dramatically in activism. However it happens, we never know what difference we are making in someones life by the simple words we say, the things we do, or the simple actions we take.
The bottom line is, weather we know it or not, each and everyday we try for that extra hit, and every day we manage to get it, and sometimes we don't even realize it. You see, becoming an 'All Star" and getting that extra hit a week isn't always just a BIG thing. The extra hit isn't always the President fighting for gay rights, or a dreamer discovering a nation the rest of the world said wasn't there, or a Bishop speaking out in the face of those who would dispute him. The extra hit is sometimes the comfort of a friend, the kiss of a lover, or when we make someone else feel that we care. Big changes only happen when an everyday person is inspired, and that inspiration often comes from the most unexpected places.
We never know what our actions will do to inspire the next "all star". To live life in the nation that the President described, and that Columbas discovered is not a responsibility of Obama alone. The big changes start on the smallest level. I would be willing to bet that Obama would not be President, the Pope would not be the Pope, our Religious, and civil leaders would not be who they are if it were not for the encouragement, support and suggestion of others. Essentially, you don't have to bat for the Major Leagues to have a shot at being an All Star. I am certain that the President, Pope, and the other leaders in our world would testify that it is only due to the innocent comment of someone unseen by us, that they ended up who and where they are. . . and today all these people are touching the lives of the everyday person, like you and me.
The President spoke last night about the fear of a young gay man, who is scared to come out of the closet;
"Tonight, somewhere in America, a young person, let’s say a young man, will struggle to fall to sleep, wrestling alone with a secret he’s held as long as he can remember. Soon, perhaps, he will decide it’s time to let that secret out. What happens next depends on him, his family, as well as his friends and his teachers and his community. But it also depends on us — on the kind of society we engender, the kind of future we build."
That future is built by US. The everyday person. The Minor Leauge batters, who just might...JUST MIGHT...land that hit, that makes a difference...and the difference they make might make us an All Star. You see, a community is made up of its members, so our communities are only going to be as strong as those members. Lets be a strong one!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
The Book and It's Cover
I learned a very good lesson this week, that is by no means a shocking revelation to anyone. You really and truly can't judge a book by it's cover. While it's true that a book with a more appealing cover is going to draw more attention on the shelf, that says nothing of the quality of the book. By the same token a book that may sit and collect dust due to a bland cover that attracts no attention, may hold the most brilliant literary art of our time.
You see I learned that sometimes I don't give people the credit they are due. As you all know I have recently decided to accept the invitation of the National Old Catholic Church to become a priest, which I thought was going to horrify my Roman Catholic friends. Some of them are less then pleased, thinking that I have turned my back on the truth in favor of an "easy out" with a Church that accepts my Homosexuality, and still welcomes me in their life of ministry. Some who I was most concerned about however instead responded with not only support but congratulations for my decision. Another person in my life, who I had formerly decided on a certain opinion has recently proven me very wrong, by turning out to be not only a very well adjusted individual, but in fact someone that people should look up to for his loyalty, maturity, and compassion.
I am ashamed of myself for pre-judging people for a few reasons. Between my life in ministry and my work behind the bar, I have been proven wrong time and time again about judgments I have made about other people. The gay community is a small one, especially in this town, and many times there have been people who everyone refers to as "a mess" and then after getting to know them a bit I realize they are not in fact a mess at all...and anyone who has run into me at last call could easily say the same of me.
You see sometimes we forget that people are made up of a lot more then the situation we see them in. They have lives that have their own unique stresses. They have backgrounds that have shaped their attitudes and personalities. Most importantly they have a certain edge, or personality that they display in public, that is not not necessarily who they really are. They have lives that necessitate maintaining a certain public opinion that may not reflect how they really feel, or who they really are.
The bottom line is that we cannot make a decision about a person before we give them a chance. We can't assume that a person is going to feel a certain way about something, before we give them them a chance and tell them about it. I know for a fact that Im not alone in this weakness, we all do it. The question that comes to my mind is why?
I think that it's because in our lives we all experience so much betrayal and hurt that we naturally build walls around ourselves to keep us safe. We learn from being hurt, and make sure that it never happens again. That part is natural, the problem is it stretches into the rest of our lives, and being defensive turns into being pessimistic. We begin to assume that people are going to hurt us, or be against us. We never get past face value. Just as we build our walls, and have our defenses so does everybody else, and sometimes we forget that. Just think, if everybody only operated inside our little bubbles, what kind of shallow, phony universe would we live in?
There's no easy answer, and we are all going to always be careful to not allow ourselves to be hurt, or challenged. However, maybe we all need to let the guard down a little bit. If we open ourselves up a little bit more to the rest of the world, we will be shocked at the good that will come from it, the friendships that will deepen, and the support we will receive from places we didn't expect because we didn't give them enough credit.
You see I learned that sometimes I don't give people the credit they are due. As you all know I have recently decided to accept the invitation of the National Old Catholic Church to become a priest, which I thought was going to horrify my Roman Catholic friends. Some of them are less then pleased, thinking that I have turned my back on the truth in favor of an "easy out" with a Church that accepts my Homosexuality, and still welcomes me in their life of ministry. Some who I was most concerned about however instead responded with not only support but congratulations for my decision. Another person in my life, who I had formerly decided on a certain opinion has recently proven me very wrong, by turning out to be not only a very well adjusted individual, but in fact someone that people should look up to for his loyalty, maturity, and compassion.
I am ashamed of myself for pre-judging people for a few reasons. Between my life in ministry and my work behind the bar, I have been proven wrong time and time again about judgments I have made about other people. The gay community is a small one, especially in this town, and many times there have been people who everyone refers to as "a mess" and then after getting to know them a bit I realize they are not in fact a mess at all...and anyone who has run into me at last call could easily say the same of me.
You see sometimes we forget that people are made up of a lot more then the situation we see them in. They have lives that have their own unique stresses. They have backgrounds that have shaped their attitudes and personalities. Most importantly they have a certain edge, or personality that they display in public, that is not not necessarily who they really are. They have lives that necessitate maintaining a certain public opinion that may not reflect how they really feel, or who they really are.
The bottom line is that we cannot make a decision about a person before we give them a chance. We can't assume that a person is going to feel a certain way about something, before we give them them a chance and tell them about it. I know for a fact that Im not alone in this weakness, we all do it. The question that comes to my mind is why?
I think that it's because in our lives we all experience so much betrayal and hurt that we naturally build walls around ourselves to keep us safe. We learn from being hurt, and make sure that it never happens again. That part is natural, the problem is it stretches into the rest of our lives, and being defensive turns into being pessimistic. We begin to assume that people are going to hurt us, or be against us. We never get past face value. Just as we build our walls, and have our defenses so does everybody else, and sometimes we forget that. Just think, if everybody only operated inside our little bubbles, what kind of shallow, phony universe would we live in?
There's no easy answer, and we are all going to always be careful to not allow ourselves to be hurt, or challenged. However, maybe we all need to let the guard down a little bit. If we open ourselves up a little bit more to the rest of the world, we will be shocked at the good that will come from it, the friendships that will deepen, and the support we will receive from places we didn't expect because we didn't give them enough credit.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Beer and Brothers
Last night was a Saturday night, which in my world is typically filled with the hustle and bustle of work. My brother and his girlfriend were in from New Hampshire, and I decided to take the night off so I could spend time with them. The evening was a major turning point for me.
As my faithful readers know I come from a unique family situation. The family was already raised, at the time of my birth the brother closest to me in age was already 12. My being so far in age was always an issue for me. My siblings and I didn't grow up together, and I always felt like "the kid" in their presence. Last night however, for the first time, it was different.
Michael, his girlfriend, and I sat and had dinner, like adults. We sat and laughed, and I talked about what was going on in my life. Now that I think about it, I was kind of selfish as I didn't really ask about what was new with him. We went bar hopping afterwards, and with each beer I felt more and more glad that I had taken the night off. We ended up at my work, where I was able to introduce him to almost all of my friends, it was a wonderful evening.
What does it take to make you feel like an adult, in the presence of those who could easily consider you a child? What makes us an adult in general? It certainly is about more then turning 18, or even 21. Among my priest friends I was the seminarian studying to one day achieve the goal that they were living. When I left, I felt like the lowly bartender trying to get his life together, while they looked on and offered advice, help whenever they could, and a shoulder to cry on when I failed. Yet I could never look at them and feel like an equal, like a peer. With my family it was the same. I always felt that when I talked I was justifying whatever was going on in my life, offering explanations to people who were higher on life's ladder then I was, and they always would be. Last night was so different.
Maybe it's a mix of things. Part of it was it was nice to hear people saying to him what I always heard about him growing up. Whenever people learned that he, or Steve is my brother they would say, "your brother's a great guy." We grew up in a small town, where everybody knew my dad, and my brothers were talented musicians whose abilities were well known. As I got older I would hear them laugh about "the old days" and share various memories that I wasn't around for. Last night they were able to see me as a grown adult. They met my friends, and boss, and customers, who were all very gracious and said things to HIM like, "your brother's a great guy". "We love it when he's working." I also sat and told him about exciting things in my life that are happening. Not what could happen, or what I want to happen, or what I hope will happen.
The words of Adam, upon the creation of Eve ring very true to me today. "This is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh." This is my brother. We are both adults, and we are both Martins. We talked last night about my other brother who couldn't join us, and my father. We talked about the many similarities we all have. Upon further reflection I realized we certainly are "bone of the same bone". We all have a similar laugh, we certainly have the same hair line issues, but more then that we have the same character. We are all strong willed, sometimes to the point of being stubborn. We are all men of deep faith, in different ways. We strongly believe in what is right and wrong. We believe in service, them to our country, me to the Church, and our father to both.
There have been so many bumps along the way, as I'm sure we could all say the same, in our family. There are many wounds. Some that have healed, and some that never will, but those that have I am glad for. No family is perfect. Many have heard me say that your family doesn't necessarily have anything to do with bloodlines, or legal terms. However there is something to be said for brothers. There is something to be said for two men who lived such different lives, yet somehow turned out very much alike. Michael is the family member who through the years I have spent the least time with, and yet he is the one to whom I feel the closest.
Last night was a delightful evening, and the hangover today is every bit worth it. When are we adults? When we can evaluate our lives and admit where we made mistakes, and acknowledge the truth of the events that have unfolded. The second Reading today talks about how Jesus, although He is God, is our brother, as we all have God as our father. The last line of the reading says, "He who consecrates and those who are being consecrated all have one origin. Therefore, he is not ashamed to call them “brothers.” We all have our birth family, and it is structured around titles that are relative to our origin. We are bone of the same bone, and flesh of the same flesh. In all of our lives those roles play out differently, and that's ok, because after years have gone by, you can sit as two adults, have a few beers and a few shots, and relish each others happiness.
As my faithful readers know I come from a unique family situation. The family was already raised, at the time of my birth the brother closest to me in age was already 12. My being so far in age was always an issue for me. My siblings and I didn't grow up together, and I always felt like "the kid" in their presence. Last night however, for the first time, it was different.
Michael, his girlfriend, and I sat and had dinner, like adults. We sat and laughed, and I talked about what was going on in my life. Now that I think about it, I was kind of selfish as I didn't really ask about what was new with him. We went bar hopping afterwards, and with each beer I felt more and more glad that I had taken the night off. We ended up at my work, where I was able to introduce him to almost all of my friends, it was a wonderful evening.
What does it take to make you feel like an adult, in the presence of those who could easily consider you a child? What makes us an adult in general? It certainly is about more then turning 18, or even 21. Among my priest friends I was the seminarian studying to one day achieve the goal that they were living. When I left, I felt like the lowly bartender trying to get his life together, while they looked on and offered advice, help whenever they could, and a shoulder to cry on when I failed. Yet I could never look at them and feel like an equal, like a peer. With my family it was the same. I always felt that when I talked I was justifying whatever was going on in my life, offering explanations to people who were higher on life's ladder then I was, and they always would be. Last night was so different.
Maybe it's a mix of things. Part of it was it was nice to hear people saying to him what I always heard about him growing up. Whenever people learned that he, or Steve is my brother they would say, "your brother's a great guy." We grew up in a small town, where everybody knew my dad, and my brothers were talented musicians whose abilities were well known. As I got older I would hear them laugh about "the old days" and share various memories that I wasn't around for. Last night they were able to see me as a grown adult. They met my friends, and boss, and customers, who were all very gracious and said things to HIM like, "your brother's a great guy". "We love it when he's working." I also sat and told him about exciting things in my life that are happening. Not what could happen, or what I want to happen, or what I hope will happen.
The words of Adam, upon the creation of Eve ring very true to me today. "This is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh." This is my brother. We are both adults, and we are both Martins. We talked last night about my other brother who couldn't join us, and my father. We talked about the many similarities we all have. Upon further reflection I realized we certainly are "bone of the same bone". We all have a similar laugh, we certainly have the same hair line issues, but more then that we have the same character. We are all strong willed, sometimes to the point of being stubborn. We are all men of deep faith, in different ways. We strongly believe in what is right and wrong. We believe in service, them to our country, me to the Church, and our father to both.
There have been so many bumps along the way, as I'm sure we could all say the same, in our family. There are many wounds. Some that have healed, and some that never will, but those that have I am glad for. No family is perfect. Many have heard me say that your family doesn't necessarily have anything to do with bloodlines, or legal terms. However there is something to be said for brothers. There is something to be said for two men who lived such different lives, yet somehow turned out very much alike. Michael is the family member who through the years I have spent the least time with, and yet he is the one to whom I feel the closest.
Last night was a delightful evening, and the hangover today is every bit worth it. When are we adults? When we can evaluate our lives and admit where we made mistakes, and acknowledge the truth of the events that have unfolded. The second Reading today talks about how Jesus, although He is God, is our brother, as we all have God as our father. The last line of the reading says, "He who consecrates and those who are being consecrated all have one origin. Therefore, he is not ashamed to call them “brothers.” We all have our birth family, and it is structured around titles that are relative to our origin. We are bone of the same bone, and flesh of the same flesh. In all of our lives those roles play out differently, and that's ok, because after years have gone by, you can sit as two adults, have a few beers and a few shots, and relish each others happiness.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Saint Therese
When I was a child growing up, my parents devoutly took me to Church every weekend. Our Church was very small and humble, and didn't have very many statues inside. However the one that always stood in a place of honor at the back of the Church was our Parish patron, Therese of Lisieux.
She was a simple french girl, born into a family that had no shortage of drama, and trials and tribulations. She became a nun the very second the Bishop would allow, as she petitioned to enter at the age of only 15. She lived only til the age of 24, having died of Tuberculosis. Though her suffering was great, she never uttered a word of complaint. Today, among other things she is the patron of the Missions, and people who are living with AIDS.
The determination demonstrated by this young girl is undoubtedly an inspiration to all. Gaining entry into Religious Life is no easy task, but Therese at such a young age was determined to start her life of ministry as soon as possible. Her personal writings document her struggles living in community, her frustration with fellow nuns, and her pain and suffering from her illness. In 1997 the writings of this silent suffering servant resulted in the Church bestowing on her the title of 'Doctor of the Church', a title that has only been given to 33 people.
Lord knows there are many lessons I could take from her life and ministry. My sufferings are far from silent, and mny frustrations with others are rarely kept quiet either. Her determination however, is the quality I most hope to perfect. The best things in life require patience, determination, and sacrifice, but are worth every step. When I would complain while I was in Seminary, Priest friends would encourage me by saying once I reached my goal of Ordination to the Priesthood I would see that it was worth every suffering.
I guess at certain junctures in life we make a choice, we decide if the ends justifies the means. We decide if at this time in our lives, is the goal worth all the hard work. The danger is that we end up complacent. Too often we settle for less then we should, because it's easier that way. That's how so many people on the road to a "career" end up "stuck in a job" instead, because it's easier to tred water then to swim upstream. That's how so many people end up in relationships that are unhealthy, because it's easier to stay then to leave. That's how so often we may fail to speak up against things we disagree with, because it's easier to remain silent then to cause some waves.
How many movements in our nation and world would've died in their first moments if people had bought into that complacency. The gay rights movement, the end of segregation, the liberation of women, indeed our nation's very independence, were all movements that began with a small ripple and grew into historical movements that changed the lives of so many.
The determination of that little girl in Lisieux is certainly an inspiration to all. In our personal lives, and as a nation, we must never loose our determination. Maybe we never really reach an end goal, because when we do, there should be yet a further one. As Barack Obama said the night he won the Presidency, "This victory alone is not the change we seek, it's only the chance to make that change."
She was a simple french girl, born into a family that had no shortage of drama, and trials and tribulations. She became a nun the very second the Bishop would allow, as she petitioned to enter at the age of only 15. She lived only til the age of 24, having died of Tuberculosis. Though her suffering was great, she never uttered a word of complaint. Today, among other things she is the patron of the Missions, and people who are living with AIDS.
The determination demonstrated by this young girl is undoubtedly an inspiration to all. Gaining entry into Religious Life is no easy task, but Therese at such a young age was determined to start her life of ministry as soon as possible. Her personal writings document her struggles living in community, her frustration with fellow nuns, and her pain and suffering from her illness. In 1997 the writings of this silent suffering servant resulted in the Church bestowing on her the title of 'Doctor of the Church', a title that has only been given to 33 people.
Lord knows there are many lessons I could take from her life and ministry. My sufferings are far from silent, and mny frustrations with others are rarely kept quiet either. Her determination however, is the quality I most hope to perfect. The best things in life require patience, determination, and sacrifice, but are worth every step. When I would complain while I was in Seminary, Priest friends would encourage me by saying once I reached my goal of Ordination to the Priesthood I would see that it was worth every suffering.
I guess at certain junctures in life we make a choice, we decide if the ends justifies the means. We decide if at this time in our lives, is the goal worth all the hard work. The danger is that we end up complacent. Too often we settle for less then we should, because it's easier that way. That's how so many people on the road to a "career" end up "stuck in a job" instead, because it's easier to tred water then to swim upstream. That's how so many people end up in relationships that are unhealthy, because it's easier to stay then to leave. That's how so often we may fail to speak up against things we disagree with, because it's easier to remain silent then to cause some waves.
How many movements in our nation and world would've died in their first moments if people had bought into that complacency. The gay rights movement, the end of segregation, the liberation of women, indeed our nation's very independence, were all movements that began with a small ripple and grew into historical movements that changed the lives of so many.
The determination of that little girl in Lisieux is certainly an inspiration to all. In our personal lives, and as a nation, we must never loose our determination. Maybe we never really reach an end goal, because when we do, there should be yet a further one. As Barack Obama said the night he won the Presidency, "This victory alone is not the change we seek, it's only the chance to make that change."
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