The Gospel this weekend speaks of death. the first Reading talks about how death was not an intended part of life, and how it was the Sin of Man that brought death into the world. The Gospel tells the story of Jesus raising from the dead a young girl whose family begged the Lord to bring her back, taken from them so early in her life.
Yesterday the Music world suffered the loss of Michael Jackson. This passing did not touch me at first. Seeing that I was born in 1981, the Jackson 5 was not a huge part of my initial musical upbringing. It wasn't until today when I was talking with a friend and watching the specials on the news when I discovered just all the work that Jackson did for the African American Community. His videos would not at first be aired on MTV because they were a "rock station" and rock was the "white man's music". This statement was made in the 80's...well past the time when so many people had given their lives for the cause of equality. Well past the days of segregated water fountains, segregated schools, and the phrase of "sitting in the back of the bus".
Michael Jackson, despite his bizarre ways, and unique fashion senses, made strides in the equality movement for the African American Community. In the Gospel Jesus says to the little girl who he raises from the dead, "Talitha koum," which means "Little girl, I say to you, arise!". Lets pray that Jesus says the same to Michael Jackson, as he stand before the Lord in his final judgment.
The news today said that he left this world 500 Million dollars in debt, or some ridiculous number like that. How on Earth is there hope for us? If someone like Michael Jackson dies in such debt, how can us, the average Joe hope for any better? Perhaps there is a lesson in all this. Perhaps the words of Jesus apply to all of us, as we face our everyday trials and tribulations..."Talitha Koum." He calls to us to arise. To stand up, despite our struggles, because we only get one shot at this, and we are expected to make every day, every hour, every second count!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I Still Can't Dance
This weekend's Pride celebrations are over, and they leave me feeling quite reflective. Although I worked the entire weekend, on Sunday late afternoon, the boyfriend, myself, and my best friend hit the town for our own personal Pride celebration. The evening ended with us dancing at the Mirabar. The club was far from packed, and there was no rainbow glitter falling from the rafters, and the general spirit of Pride had more or less dissipated, but I still felt it, because I was there with the two people who matter most in my life.
My best friend turned to me as we were dancing and he said, "how many years have we been friends?" I replied, four. To which he responded, "four years, and you still cant dance!" I laughed heartily and thought about it. Indeed for the last four years he has commented on my proven inability to dance. It doesn't appear to be changing anytime soon.
On Monday Joshua and I headed out to Bliss Dairy, a small restaurant in Attleboro which is much like Newport Creamery. We were talking on the way about how they used to serve Ice Cream Sundaes in miniature Baseball helmets. As my excitement built about this Helmet Sundae, I was then informed they no longer sold them. In fact, upon getting there, much of the place had changed, including the quality of their food.
Some things change, and some things change the same. Over the years there will always be those places and things that we look back on with a smile, but when we try to revisit them, they aren't the same anymore. They have changed. Sometimes they haven't changed at all, but rather we have, so our experience of them is different.
It made me think of myself. I spoke in my last entry about Pride being a celebration of ourselves as individuals. What was I celebrating? As we danced on Sunday night I thought about it a lot... What have I done to make me feel Proud? Certainly we are all unhappy with some parts of our lives, and we work everyday to improve those areas. I realized I am proud, proud of who I am, what Ive accomplished, the peoples lives Ive touched, the experiences I've had, and the man that I've become. I'm thankful for the people who have been with me along the way, the people who have encouraged me to improve, and the people who have challenged me when I've needed it.
I still can't dance, and I am sure I never will. . . and that's ok. That's what made that moment so endearing, that after four years of friendship we can still laugh about that flaw which he identified in me the moment we first met.
Last night I stopped off at Kareoke on my way home, and my friend sang the Lighthouse song "Hanging by a Moment". The song is about a person who recognizses in himself that he is missing something, and he has found it in a relationship. "I'm desperate for changing, Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started, chasing after you. I'm falling even more in love with you, Letting go of all i've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with you." He finds fulfillment in the approval he gets from this other person. This other person, this love, has challanged him. . . and his ability to respond to that challange and become a better person makes him justifiably proud.
That's what love is. Love inspires us to change, and to grow. I still can't dance, but important people in my life have helped me to change in so many other ways. As I danced Sunday night I thought about how these two men have helped me to change and grow. . . in ways they may never know. So many people through the years will never have any clue how they may have helped me grow. How they helped me see the need to be more responsible, to be more dedicated, to look at myself from the outside, instead of viewing the world through my personal filter.
As Pride weekend begins to slide into the background, and all that remains are the pictures, the hangovers, and the empty cheaking accounts, I look forward to the coming year. I look forward to the many ways I hope to continue to grow and flourish. I look forward to next Pride when I feebily attempt to dance, and am reminded of all the good things that haven't changed, and all the things that have. All the improvements that will come, and the challanges I will have faced.
"There's nothing else to lose. Nothing else to find. There's nothing in the world, that can change my mind. There is nothing else . . . I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all I've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move. I'm hanging by a moment here with you"
The singer has found fulfillment in this relationship, and proudly declares that he isnt going anywhere unless he is told to. I make the same decleration. Those friendships that have stood strong in the test of time. . . I'm not going anywhere. The lover who affirms, challanges, loves, and adores me. . . I'm not going anywhere. I look forward to the joy that lies ahead in all these relationships, and the many ways that they will help me grow. I hope that every Pride for many countless years to come, we will be able to have a cocktail together while laughing about how I still can't dance.
My best friend turned to me as we were dancing and he said, "how many years have we been friends?" I replied, four. To which he responded, "four years, and you still cant dance!" I laughed heartily and thought about it. Indeed for the last four years he has commented on my proven inability to dance. It doesn't appear to be changing anytime soon.
On Monday Joshua and I headed out to Bliss Dairy, a small restaurant in Attleboro which is much like Newport Creamery. We were talking on the way about how they used to serve Ice Cream Sundaes in miniature Baseball helmets. As my excitement built about this Helmet Sundae, I was then informed they no longer sold them. In fact, upon getting there, much of the place had changed, including the quality of their food.
Some things change, and some things change the same. Over the years there will always be those places and things that we look back on with a smile, but when we try to revisit them, they aren't the same anymore. They have changed. Sometimes they haven't changed at all, but rather we have, so our experience of them is different.
It made me think of myself. I spoke in my last entry about Pride being a celebration of ourselves as individuals. What was I celebrating? As we danced on Sunday night I thought about it a lot... What have I done to make me feel Proud? Certainly we are all unhappy with some parts of our lives, and we work everyday to improve those areas. I realized I am proud, proud of who I am, what Ive accomplished, the peoples lives Ive touched, the experiences I've had, and the man that I've become. I'm thankful for the people who have been with me along the way, the people who have encouraged me to improve, and the people who have challenged me when I've needed it.
I still can't dance, and I am sure I never will. . . and that's ok. That's what made that moment so endearing, that after four years of friendship we can still laugh about that flaw which he identified in me the moment we first met.
Last night I stopped off at Kareoke on my way home, and my friend sang the Lighthouse song "Hanging by a Moment". The song is about a person who recognizses in himself that he is missing something, and he has found it in a relationship. "I'm desperate for changing, Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started, chasing after you. I'm falling even more in love with you, Letting go of all i've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with you." He finds fulfillment in the approval he gets from this other person. This other person, this love, has challanged him. . . and his ability to respond to that challange and become a better person makes him justifiably proud.
That's what love is. Love inspires us to change, and to grow. I still can't dance, but important people in my life have helped me to change in so many other ways. As I danced Sunday night I thought about how these two men have helped me to change and grow. . . in ways they may never know. So many people through the years will never have any clue how they may have helped me grow. How they helped me see the need to be more responsible, to be more dedicated, to look at myself from the outside, instead of viewing the world through my personal filter.
As Pride weekend begins to slide into the background, and all that remains are the pictures, the hangovers, and the empty cheaking accounts, I look forward to the coming year. I look forward to the many ways I hope to continue to grow and flourish. I look forward to next Pride when I feebily attempt to dance, and am reminded of all the good things that haven't changed, and all the things that have. All the improvements that will come, and the challanges I will have faced.
"There's nothing else to lose. Nothing else to find. There's nothing in the world, that can change my mind. There is nothing else . . . I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all I've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move. I'm hanging by a moment here with you"
The singer has found fulfillment in this relationship, and proudly declares that he isnt going anywhere unless he is told to. I make the same decleration. Those friendships that have stood strong in the test of time. . . I'm not going anywhere. The lover who affirms, challanges, loves, and adores me. . . I'm not going anywhere. I look forward to the joy that lies ahead in all these relationships, and the many ways that they will help me grow. I hope that every Pride for many countless years to come, we will be able to have a cocktail together while laughing about how I still can't dance.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Pride
It's here again, despite the rain, the GBLT Community prepares to celebrate Pride weekend. Tents are being erected, the clubs have extended their liquor orders, bartenders are resting for a weekend of non stop pouring, and everybody is a buzz about where they are going and what's going on. The celebration this weekend of course is a tradition in commemoration of the historic Stonewall Riot of June 28, 1969, when the GBLT community of Greenwich Village defended themselves against the bigotry and raids they had been experiencing for decades.
The gay community was so ostracized that the only place where they felt they could be open about who they were was in bars, like Stonewall, that were more or less underground. Stonewall in fact was owned by the Mafia, and not even a gay. Liquor was kept in secret panels and in cars outside in the event that the police were to raid them, and seize the liquor. Those weeks in late June of 1969 changed all that. What followed was the formation of Gay Rights Organizations across the nation. Most importantly, what began was the formation of a cohesive, organized, community that transcended generational, racial, and cultural differences.
Now it is 2009, and every year we organize this huge weekend long party to celebrate who we are. To celebrate "Pride". I often joke every year, "what are we so proud of?" At pride we are not saying that we are proud to be GAY, we certainly are not ashamed, but Pride runs much deeper then that. We celebrate the accomplishments of a community that went from hanging out in shady underground, mafia run bars, to what we are today. A community that boasted about equal rights and liberation in a time when African Americans were still fighting for rights. The women's movement was still in the final stages of earning their last few rights. Lyndon Johnson's "Affirmative Action Program" was working out some of it's kinks. For the Gay Community to explode across such a volatile nation took courage, strength, and pride.
Pride is also a time when we remember the rest of the hardships and victories that were to come in the following years. The HIV epidemic of the 80's, which left so many countless lives forever touched, also marked the beginning of a new battle. The murder of Matthew Shepherd in the late 90's reminded us that the whole world is in fact not accepting of Homosexuality, and there are still miles to go before true equality is accomplished. Equality however is not something that is legally achieved. Its not a bill that has to be passed in a courthouse or a statehouse. Equality is when I can walk down the street holding hands with my boyfriend and no one will look twice, because the love between us is just as legitimate as the love between the straight couple walking past in the other direction. It is not a legal movement, its a movement in the hearts of those who cannot bring themselves to understand that God created us all different...different, but equal.
This weekend as the parties tear on into the late hours of the night we remember. Those of us who are of younger years often forget the challenges faced by earlier generations. It's very easy at 19 years old to realize that you are gay, and dive into a fairly large club world, and yell and scream for equal rights. The struggle that each of us go through in the coming out process is different to be sure, but remember the generations before who literally had their freedom, and at times their very lives at stake by setting foot in bars like Stonewall. We have the benefit of walking into an established community. This weekend is about allot more then a parade. We are not trying to rub our homosexuality in the straight world's face...rather we are celebrating an inheritance that had been handed down to us from decades before.
We celebrate ourselves as individuals, perhaps even beyond our homosexuality. It's a part of what makes me who I am but it is not the summit of my being. We all have hopes and dreams, family and friends, a life history and experiences that make us who we are. Our sexuality is woven through those things. That's why Pride is such a special weekend. We see those faces that at one time may have been a regular part of our lives, and we run into them at pride and share that brief, but moving encounter. "Oh my god how have you been?? Where are you living now???" Etc etc etc. Those who are celebrating their first Pride undoubtedly will establish memories that they will remember for years to come. Those of us who it isn't our first Pride will undoubtedly do all the remembering..."Remember last year when we did this, or we did that."
Pride is about so much more then a parade. It's about us, as individuals...because individuals are what makes up a community. So this weekend celebrate YOU. Celebrate the past that has made you the person you are, celebrate the people who have come and gone. Celebrate the people who have come and STAYED....because those people seem to be so few. Celebrate your lover, and the difference he/she has made in your life. That line from Queer as Folk comes to mind, "Mourn the losses because there will be plenty, but celebrate the victories, because there are so few." The losses however, are what makes the victories so sweet. So maybe we should celebrate those too, because they too played a part in the reality we live in.
Whatever you do this weekend, have a safe, and happy (despite the threat of rain) Pride 2009!!
The gay community was so ostracized that the only place where they felt they could be open about who they were was in bars, like Stonewall, that were more or less underground. Stonewall in fact was owned by the Mafia, and not even a gay. Liquor was kept in secret panels and in cars outside in the event that the police were to raid them, and seize the liquor. Those weeks in late June of 1969 changed all that. What followed was the formation of Gay Rights Organizations across the nation. Most importantly, what began was the formation of a cohesive, organized, community that transcended generational, racial, and cultural differences.
Now it is 2009, and every year we organize this huge weekend long party to celebrate who we are. To celebrate "Pride". I often joke every year, "what are we so proud of?" At pride we are not saying that we are proud to be GAY, we certainly are not ashamed, but Pride runs much deeper then that. We celebrate the accomplishments of a community that went from hanging out in shady underground, mafia run bars, to what we are today. A community that boasted about equal rights and liberation in a time when African Americans were still fighting for rights. The women's movement was still in the final stages of earning their last few rights. Lyndon Johnson's "Affirmative Action Program" was working out some of it's kinks. For the Gay Community to explode across such a volatile nation took courage, strength, and pride.
Pride is also a time when we remember the rest of the hardships and victories that were to come in the following years. The HIV epidemic of the 80's, which left so many countless lives forever touched, also marked the beginning of a new battle. The murder of Matthew Shepherd in the late 90's reminded us that the whole world is in fact not accepting of Homosexuality, and there are still miles to go before true equality is accomplished. Equality however is not something that is legally achieved. Its not a bill that has to be passed in a courthouse or a statehouse. Equality is when I can walk down the street holding hands with my boyfriend and no one will look twice, because the love between us is just as legitimate as the love between the straight couple walking past in the other direction. It is not a legal movement, its a movement in the hearts of those who cannot bring themselves to understand that God created us all different...different, but equal.
This weekend as the parties tear on into the late hours of the night we remember. Those of us who are of younger years often forget the challenges faced by earlier generations. It's very easy at 19 years old to realize that you are gay, and dive into a fairly large club world, and yell and scream for equal rights. The struggle that each of us go through in the coming out process is different to be sure, but remember the generations before who literally had their freedom, and at times their very lives at stake by setting foot in bars like Stonewall. We have the benefit of walking into an established community. This weekend is about allot more then a parade. We are not trying to rub our homosexuality in the straight world's face...rather we are celebrating an inheritance that had been handed down to us from decades before.
We celebrate ourselves as individuals, perhaps even beyond our homosexuality. It's a part of what makes me who I am but it is not the summit of my being. We all have hopes and dreams, family and friends, a life history and experiences that make us who we are. Our sexuality is woven through those things. That's why Pride is such a special weekend. We see those faces that at one time may have been a regular part of our lives, and we run into them at pride and share that brief, but moving encounter. "Oh my god how have you been?? Where are you living now???" Etc etc etc. Those who are celebrating their first Pride undoubtedly will establish memories that they will remember for years to come. Those of us who it isn't our first Pride will undoubtedly do all the remembering..."Remember last year when we did this, or we did that."
Pride is about so much more then a parade. It's about us, as individuals...because individuals are what makes up a community. So this weekend celebrate YOU. Celebrate the past that has made you the person you are, celebrate the people who have come and gone. Celebrate the people who have come and STAYED....because those people seem to be so few. Celebrate your lover, and the difference he/she has made in your life. That line from Queer as Folk comes to mind, "Mourn the losses because there will be plenty, but celebrate the victories, because there are so few." The losses however, are what makes the victories so sweet. So maybe we should celebrate those too, because they too played a part in the reality we live in.
Whatever you do this weekend, have a safe, and happy (despite the threat of rain) Pride 2009!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
In This Great Sacrament...
This past Sunday was the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ...the Blessed Sacrament. During my time in Seminary the Parish at which I worked the longest was the Church of the Most Blessed Sacrament. It was a massive, Cathedral-like Church. It was in this massive structure, that my relationship with God matured.
I recently took my wonderful boyfriend on a tour of my hometown. We saw the house I grew up in. I showed him my home parish...the simple Church where my relationship with God was born. It was the site of where an immature, young man discerned a vocation to the priesthood. That small town where my roots began, reflect the simplicity of what my relationship with God was in those days. So many people in that town view Providence as "the big city", to them it is so far away. The idea of even being awake at 1am is so foreign to them, let alone the idea of ordering a cheeseburger out of a trailer at that time. They go to work, they come home, spend time with their family, and the next day they repeat it.
It was during the years of sitting in the pews of Blessed Sacrament, where I realized that life was so much more complicated. I realized that a relationship with God was much more then "Love one another as I have loved you." I learned that there were times when God would feel absent. I learned that more often then not, I would not feel the presence of God in my daily life, and that I would have to lean on the shoulder of faith, to know that He was there.
Every year the Parish committees would work tirelessly towards this weekend's feast. We would prepare a massive procession to celebrate the Blessed Sacrament. On that day, processing down the isle of that Church, amidst all the pageantry, Gold vestments, incense and ancient Latin hymns...was me..a lowly, sinful, seminary student. A young man trying to not loose himself in the bells and whistles, and remember that I was giving my life to that tiny white wafer, that was in fact the Body and Blood of Christ, the Blessed Sacrament.
The line from the Preface of the Mass that day reads, "In this great sacrament You feed Your people and strengthen them in holiness, so that the human family may come to walk in the light of one faith, in one communion of love. " Week after week believers gather all over the world at that one altar to celebrate the Sacrifice of the Cross, which they believe brings them salvation.
Now when I sit in the presence of my God in the Blessed Sacrament I typically do so in a tiny chapel downtown, maintained by the Franciscans. Its a simple place, where I sit and share my hopes and dreams with my God. I pray for the ones I love, I pray for their hopes and dreams as well. It reminds me of the universality of the Blessed Sacrament. The details have changed but the basic concept remains the same, weather it be in Tiverton, at Blessed Sacrament Church, or in that simple tiny Chapel. I still sit and share my deepest self, with a God I cannot see.
Two weeks ago I re-visited my hometown, this weekend I re-visited my Seminary years, and I continue to strive towards achieving my dreams. Thank the Lord, I have found love, good friends, and a stable home. I feel like I am only a few grasps away from completing the picture. These are the things that are summarized in that Sacred Host. It's the countless dreams and hopes of generations of believers, the ongoing hope that has burned in the hearts of countless millions through the ages, and the eternal love of God that has shined down through the centuries...a love that is reflected in the smiling face of a lover in the morning when he first wakes up, the heartfelt thank you from a grateful soul, or the laugh we inspire from someone else when we amuse them. The great Feast of the Blessed Sacrament is a reminder, once a year, of that love that we experience everyday of our lives.
I try to keep this in mind as we push through these miserable cloudy days leading into summer. Its so easy to forget the blessings sometimes, and let our hearts wander to feelings of despair. However, it is our duty to look to the bright side, to acknowledge these countless blessings in our lives...because those blessings are the presence of God in our lives, they are the daily manifestation of the gifts of that wonderful sacrament, the same gift that we are called to be in the lives of others.
I recently took my wonderful boyfriend on a tour of my hometown. We saw the house I grew up in. I showed him my home parish...the simple Church where my relationship with God was born. It was the site of where an immature, young man discerned a vocation to the priesthood. That small town where my roots began, reflect the simplicity of what my relationship with God was in those days. So many people in that town view Providence as "the big city", to them it is so far away. The idea of even being awake at 1am is so foreign to them, let alone the idea of ordering a cheeseburger out of a trailer at that time. They go to work, they come home, spend time with their family, and the next day they repeat it.
It was during the years of sitting in the pews of Blessed Sacrament, where I realized that life was so much more complicated. I realized that a relationship with God was much more then "Love one another as I have loved you." I learned that there were times when God would feel absent. I learned that more often then not, I would not feel the presence of God in my daily life, and that I would have to lean on the shoulder of faith, to know that He was there.
Every year the Parish committees would work tirelessly towards this weekend's feast. We would prepare a massive procession to celebrate the Blessed Sacrament. On that day, processing down the isle of that Church, amidst all the pageantry, Gold vestments, incense and ancient Latin hymns...was me..a lowly, sinful, seminary student. A young man trying to not loose himself in the bells and whistles, and remember that I was giving my life to that tiny white wafer, that was in fact the Body and Blood of Christ, the Blessed Sacrament.
The line from the Preface of the Mass that day reads, "In this great sacrament You feed Your people and strengthen them in holiness, so that the human family may come to walk in the light of one faith, in one communion of love. " Week after week believers gather all over the world at that one altar to celebrate the Sacrifice of the Cross, which they believe brings them salvation.
Now when I sit in the presence of my God in the Blessed Sacrament I typically do so in a tiny chapel downtown, maintained by the Franciscans. Its a simple place, where I sit and share my hopes and dreams with my God. I pray for the ones I love, I pray for their hopes and dreams as well. It reminds me of the universality of the Blessed Sacrament. The details have changed but the basic concept remains the same, weather it be in Tiverton, at Blessed Sacrament Church, or in that simple tiny Chapel. I still sit and share my deepest self, with a God I cannot see.
Two weeks ago I re-visited my hometown, this weekend I re-visited my Seminary years, and I continue to strive towards achieving my dreams. Thank the Lord, I have found love, good friends, and a stable home. I feel like I am only a few grasps away from completing the picture. These are the things that are summarized in that Sacred Host. It's the countless dreams and hopes of generations of believers, the ongoing hope that has burned in the hearts of countless millions through the ages, and the eternal love of God that has shined down through the centuries...a love that is reflected in the smiling face of a lover in the morning when he first wakes up, the heartfelt thank you from a grateful soul, or the laugh we inspire from someone else when we amuse them. The great Feast of the Blessed Sacrament is a reminder, once a year, of that love that we experience everyday of our lives.
I try to keep this in mind as we push through these miserable cloudy days leading into summer. Its so easy to forget the blessings sometimes, and let our hearts wander to feelings of despair. However, it is our duty to look to the bright side, to acknowledge these countless blessings in our lives...because those blessings are the presence of God in our lives, they are the daily manifestation of the gifts of that wonderful sacrament, the same gift that we are called to be in the lives of others.
Friday, June 5, 2009
As the days of the early summer begin to unwind, the big day slowly approaches, June 7th, the anniversary of my Baptism. 28 Years ago, Father plante traced the sign of the cross on my forehead and said the words, "I claim you for Christ our King." Those words were always the most beautiful to me of the Baptism ceremony. A tiny baby, is marked with holy Chrisim, and claimed for service in the army of Christ.
This weekend is also the Solemnty of the Most Holy Trinity. The doctrine of the Trinity has been argued by Theologians for centuries. God the Father, the eternal uncreated God, takes uhman form in His Son Jesus, and the love between the two results in the Holy Spirit, which has been described as "the generation of love from the love that is shared." It is the love between the three Persons of the One Triune God that keeps creation turning in its natural order. The Father who created everything, the Son who redeemed everything, and the Spirit, that ties us into the Divinity...the Spirit that on the day of our Baptism touches us, and changes our very character to liken us unto the character of Christ Himself.
On the day of my Baptism, my parents promised the Lord to raise me in the faith, and on the day of my Confirmation I affirmed those promises to live my life according to the Church and her teachings. Through the years I have learned that living that life is not always easy. I had to learn how to meld my faith, with my homosexuality. Many would ask how...many DO ask how. Its easy. I live my life everyday as honest as possible. I love my friends, and try to always put them first. I love my boyfriend, and try to make sure that every second of every day he is at the forefront of my decisions. I work an honest job, and earn an honest days pay for an honest days work. I try to always give when someone is in need. As Jesus said, "everytime you clothe the naked, feed the hungary, care for the sick, you do it for me."
That is because that One Triune God lives in all of us, and so therefore we are called to see God in one another. It sounds like fluff, but it really is true, and its a reality that I have seen in the lives of those around me. I see it in my own life. God reveals himself almost everyday to me. Weather it be in a laugh prompted by a random customer at work, a smile brought on by a friend, or the feeling of warmth that swells within me when I hold my boyfriend in my arms.
The love of the Triune God shines through even in the darkest moments of life, and those are the moments when I am reminded of those promises made by my parents 28 years ago, and re-affirmed by me on the day of my Confirmation. The difficult times are those moments of frustration. Those times when it seems as though God has turned His face. Those moments of despair when we think that we are in this crazy world all alone. We never are alone, because God is with us in those people who He has placed in our lives, always at the right moments...just when we need it.
So today as I face the anniversary of my Baptism, I rejoice in the blessings I have recieved over the years, and look forward to many more. I look forward to the many Blessings God will bring, and the showering of marvelous grace that comes when we least expect it. Thank you Lord, and thank all of you, who are His face in my daily life.
This weekend is also the Solemnty of the Most Holy Trinity. The doctrine of the Trinity has been argued by Theologians for centuries. God the Father, the eternal uncreated God, takes uhman form in His Son Jesus, and the love between the two results in the Holy Spirit, which has been described as "the generation of love from the love that is shared." It is the love between the three Persons of the One Triune God that keeps creation turning in its natural order. The Father who created everything, the Son who redeemed everything, and the Spirit, that ties us into the Divinity...the Spirit that on the day of our Baptism touches us, and changes our very character to liken us unto the character of Christ Himself.
On the day of my Baptism, my parents promised the Lord to raise me in the faith, and on the day of my Confirmation I affirmed those promises to live my life according to the Church and her teachings. Through the years I have learned that living that life is not always easy. I had to learn how to meld my faith, with my homosexuality. Many would ask how...many DO ask how. Its easy. I live my life everyday as honest as possible. I love my friends, and try to always put them first. I love my boyfriend, and try to make sure that every second of every day he is at the forefront of my decisions. I work an honest job, and earn an honest days pay for an honest days work. I try to always give when someone is in need. As Jesus said, "everytime you clothe the naked, feed the hungary, care for the sick, you do it for me."
That is because that One Triune God lives in all of us, and so therefore we are called to see God in one another. It sounds like fluff, but it really is true, and its a reality that I have seen in the lives of those around me. I see it in my own life. God reveals himself almost everyday to me. Weather it be in a laugh prompted by a random customer at work, a smile brought on by a friend, or the feeling of warmth that swells within me when I hold my boyfriend in my arms.
The love of the Triune God shines through even in the darkest moments of life, and those are the moments when I am reminded of those promises made by my parents 28 years ago, and re-affirmed by me on the day of my Confirmation. The difficult times are those moments of frustration. Those times when it seems as though God has turned His face. Those moments of despair when we think that we are in this crazy world all alone. We never are alone, because God is with us in those people who He has placed in our lives, always at the right moments...just when we need it.
So today as I face the anniversary of my Baptism, I rejoice in the blessings I have recieved over the years, and look forward to many more. I look forward to the many Blessings God will bring, and the showering of marvelous grace that comes when we least expect it. Thank you Lord, and thank all of you, who are His face in my daily life.
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Fire of the Spirit
My weekend this weekend began by attending a "non violent" picket by the Westboro Baptist Church, an organization whose basic principles are "God Hates Fags and Jews." They sport signs that include slogans such as, "GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL".
Their other big platform is as follows (taken directly from their website) "Priests Rape Boys: an air-tight, three word case against the Catholic church. The Catholic Church is the largest, most well-funded and organized pedophile group in the history of man! No further proof need be given on the Judgment Day against every single person of authority in that monstrous organization of perverts. The case is as open and shut as a murder case where the murder is actually witnessed by the judge and jury themselves. "
The grand sweeping, bigoted, and ignorant rantings of this cult cannot be argued. This organization made their presence known in Providence on Friday afternoon. The Church made no statement to defend their priests...perhaps because in order to defend themselves, the Jews, and the other communities the WBC assaults, they would have to also defend the Gay community. I attended the protest to see what these people were all about. Among the protesters was a child, no more then 8 years old, holding a sign proclaiming the WBC's Doctrine of hate. It brought a tear to my eye. When I crossed the street to leave one of the protesters looked at me and said, 'Are you a Fag or a Jew?", which was her question towards anyone from the opposing side who she encountered. My answer was simple. "I am a fag".
As I thought about the group as the evening continued to unfold, I went about my daily life, and considered how awful I felt for these people. I nearly wept thinking of these people living a life where they truly think that they are justified in their life of hate, and that God smiles upon their ignorance, their bigotry, and their loneliness.
This weekend in the Church is the feast of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit descended upon the apostles in the form of a Dove, breathing out His spirit on these men who were gathered in fear in the Upper Room. "And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in different tongues, as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim." The apostles, enlivened by the Spirit, went from that room, and proclaimed to all the world the message of Christ, the Gospel, and true redemption.
The Pope, in his homily this year on the Feast of Pentecost spoke about how the Spirit comes to us today, in 2009. How we keep Pentecost alive in this century, among us, His new apostles. The Pope reminds us of how the apostles were gathered in the Upper Room out of fear, fear of facing the same fate of Jesus. It wasn't until the Decent of the Holy Spirit that they were enlivened to leave that room and proclaim to the nations the message of Christ crucified, and Resurrected. He said, "Where the Spirit of God enters, he chases out fear; he makes us know and feel that we are in the hands of an Omnipotence of love: whatever happens, his infinite love will not abandon us. The witness of the martyrs, the courage of the confessors, the intrepid élan of missionaries, the frankness of preachers, the example of all the saints -- some who were even adolescents and children -- demonstrate this. It is also demonstrated by the very existence of the Church, which, despite the limits and faults of men, continues to sail across the ocean of history, driven by the breath of God and animated by his purifying fire"
It is fear that drives the hearts of ignorant men and women like the WBC. They are scared of something they do not know, and although speaking in the name of "God" they lack the Spirit that would enlighten them to see the truth, and live in the real love of God.
This month I celebrated my birthday...pretty much all month. I received birthday well wishes, and cakes, and gifts from nearly everyone in my life. This was something for which I am eternally grateful. To quote the Pope again, "Where the Spirit of God enters, he chases out fear; he makes us know and feel that we are in the hands of an Omnipotence of love." This month, in a particular way, I felt the love of my friends...a nearly Omnipotence of love. A love that remains no matter how stupid I am, or what stupid things I may do. The love of a boyfriend, who looks past my many faults, and failures, and encourages me to always do my best. Friends who know me better then I know myself, and yet rejoice in the arrival of a birthday. THAT is the Spirit of God.
I feel a depth of pain in my heart for that child at the WBC protest. A child who does not have the love of friends and family, but rather the fire of ignorant hate. He is a child that will grow up in a world devoid of hope, meaning, love, or joy.
Today I sit here as a grateful man. Grateful to God for the many blessings He has given me. I am blessed everyday to have the love and support of an amazing boyfriend, wonderful friends, a faithful roommate, and a support structure I so often forget. Enlivened by the Spirit I look forward to the coming year, and I feel inspired, like the Apostles on Pentecost, that there is no need for fear. I will not be forever trapped in the "Upper Room." Perhaps for us, I know for me, the "Upper Room" is that place of complacency, where we become comfortable about who and where we are, and loose that drive to move forward, to better ourselves, to grow, and to be all that we can be.
It's not just the WBC that stands and holds signs in protest of our lives...the WBC is like all the roadblocks, the challenges, the perceived failures, and the many battles lost, that make us feel like we've lost the entire war. Again all of these things are shrouded in fear, and devoid of the life of the Spirit.
Inspired I move forward. I wonder what my blog will say on May 21, 2010. Will it be filled with gratitude for many more blessings? I am sure it will. Will it be full of gratitude for my friends, and boyfriend? I am equally as certain. The question is, will I be able to muster the strength, faith, and hope to take the steps I need to take, backed with the armor of the previously mentioned blessings? YES IT WILL. If I ignore the gifts of the Spirit in my own life that God has provided for me to improve myself, then I am as ignorant and vapid as the members of the WBC who stand on street corners throughout America everyday. The WBC has the same blessings offered to them as me, but they are closed to it.
So we move forward...I move forward. I move forward full of gratitude for the many blessings God has given me, and continues to give me everyday. I am thankful for my boyfriend, my friends, my job, my past, my unknown future, and most of all my very life. That life will not fall even a centimeter short of all that it can be. I will not waste the gifts of the Spirit in my life, as I said, if I did I would be just as guilty as the WBC. As Saint Paul says in his Letter to the Galatians this week, "If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.". Lead on, Spirit...lead on....
Their other big platform is as follows (taken directly from their website) "Priests Rape Boys: an air-tight, three word case against the Catholic church. The Catholic Church is the largest, most well-funded and organized pedophile group in the history of man! No further proof need be given on the Judgment Day against every single person of authority in that monstrous organization of perverts. The case is as open and shut as a murder case where the murder is actually witnessed by the judge and jury themselves. "
The grand sweeping, bigoted, and ignorant rantings of this cult cannot be argued. This organization made their presence known in Providence on Friday afternoon. The Church made no statement to defend their priests...perhaps because in order to defend themselves, the Jews, and the other communities the WBC assaults, they would have to also defend the Gay community. I attended the protest to see what these people were all about. Among the protesters was a child, no more then 8 years old, holding a sign proclaiming the WBC's Doctrine of hate. It brought a tear to my eye. When I crossed the street to leave one of the protesters looked at me and said, 'Are you a Fag or a Jew?", which was her question towards anyone from the opposing side who she encountered. My answer was simple. "I am a fag".
As I thought about the group as the evening continued to unfold, I went about my daily life, and considered how awful I felt for these people. I nearly wept thinking of these people living a life where they truly think that they are justified in their life of hate, and that God smiles upon their ignorance, their bigotry, and their loneliness.
This weekend in the Church is the feast of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit descended upon the apostles in the form of a Dove, breathing out His spirit on these men who were gathered in fear in the Upper Room. "And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in different tongues, as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim." The apostles, enlivened by the Spirit, went from that room, and proclaimed to all the world the message of Christ, the Gospel, and true redemption.
The Pope, in his homily this year on the Feast of Pentecost spoke about how the Spirit comes to us today, in 2009. How we keep Pentecost alive in this century, among us, His new apostles. The Pope reminds us of how the apostles were gathered in the Upper Room out of fear, fear of facing the same fate of Jesus. It wasn't until the Decent of the Holy Spirit that they were enlivened to leave that room and proclaim to the nations the message of Christ crucified, and Resurrected. He said, "Where the Spirit of God enters, he chases out fear; he makes us know and feel that we are in the hands of an Omnipotence of love: whatever happens, his infinite love will not abandon us. The witness of the martyrs, the courage of the confessors, the intrepid élan of missionaries, the frankness of preachers, the example of all the saints -- some who were even adolescents and children -- demonstrate this. It is also demonstrated by the very existence of the Church, which, despite the limits and faults of men, continues to sail across the ocean of history, driven by the breath of God and animated by his purifying fire"
It is fear that drives the hearts of ignorant men and women like the WBC. They are scared of something they do not know, and although speaking in the name of "God" they lack the Spirit that would enlighten them to see the truth, and live in the real love of God.
This month I celebrated my birthday...pretty much all month. I received birthday well wishes, and cakes, and gifts from nearly everyone in my life. This was something for which I am eternally grateful. To quote the Pope again, "Where the Spirit of God enters, he chases out fear; he makes us know and feel that we are in the hands of an Omnipotence of love." This month, in a particular way, I felt the love of my friends...a nearly Omnipotence of love. A love that remains no matter how stupid I am, or what stupid things I may do. The love of a boyfriend, who looks past my many faults, and failures, and encourages me to always do my best. Friends who know me better then I know myself, and yet rejoice in the arrival of a birthday. THAT is the Spirit of God.
I feel a depth of pain in my heart for that child at the WBC protest. A child who does not have the love of friends and family, but rather the fire of ignorant hate. He is a child that will grow up in a world devoid of hope, meaning, love, or joy.
Today I sit here as a grateful man. Grateful to God for the many blessings He has given me. I am blessed everyday to have the love and support of an amazing boyfriend, wonderful friends, a faithful roommate, and a support structure I so often forget. Enlivened by the Spirit I look forward to the coming year, and I feel inspired, like the Apostles on Pentecost, that there is no need for fear. I will not be forever trapped in the "Upper Room." Perhaps for us, I know for me, the "Upper Room" is that place of complacency, where we become comfortable about who and where we are, and loose that drive to move forward, to better ourselves, to grow, and to be all that we can be.
It's not just the WBC that stands and holds signs in protest of our lives...the WBC is like all the roadblocks, the challenges, the perceived failures, and the many battles lost, that make us feel like we've lost the entire war. Again all of these things are shrouded in fear, and devoid of the life of the Spirit.
Inspired I move forward. I wonder what my blog will say on May 21, 2010. Will it be filled with gratitude for many more blessings? I am sure it will. Will it be full of gratitude for my friends, and boyfriend? I am equally as certain. The question is, will I be able to muster the strength, faith, and hope to take the steps I need to take, backed with the armor of the previously mentioned blessings? YES IT WILL. If I ignore the gifts of the Spirit in my own life that God has provided for me to improve myself, then I am as ignorant and vapid as the members of the WBC who stand on street corners throughout America everyday. The WBC has the same blessings offered to them as me, but they are closed to it.
So we move forward...I move forward. I move forward full of gratitude for the many blessings God has given me, and continues to give me everyday. I am thankful for my boyfriend, my friends, my job, my past, my unknown future, and most of all my very life. That life will not fall even a centimeter short of all that it can be. I will not waste the gifts of the Spirit in my life, as I said, if I did I would be just as guilty as the WBC. As Saint Paul says in his Letter to the Galatians this week, "If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.". Lead on, Spirit...lead on....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)