In addition to being my birthday, tomorrow is also the Feast of the Ascension. After the Resurrection, Jesus spent 40 days making various appearances to His Apostles and others, and on that last day, He took His followers up to a mountaintop. After sharing a few final words of promise and hope, He ascended back up to Heaven, where He would remain until the end of time, when He comes again. To quote the text;
"When he had said this, as they were looking on,he was lifted up, and a cloud took him from their sight.While they were looking intently at the sky as he was going, suddenly two men dressed in white garments stood beside them. They said, "Men of Galilee,why are you standing there looking at the sky? This Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven."
What a wonderful Birthday message! Essentially the angels are telling the Apostles, stop staring at the sky, and start looking forward! The apostles had a lot of work to do. They were wasting time standing there staring at the heavens when they should have looked forward and begun their life long mission of preaching and spreading the Gospel.
Don't we spend too much time staring up instead of looking forward? Too much time dwelling on the areas of our lives where we want improvement. I cant tell you how many nights I have spent sitting at a bar venting to a friend about the aspects of my life I wished were different. I will never forget the night I was sitting at my favorite watering hole, The Alley Cat, and my beloved bartender Cathy said, "Instead of sitting here bitching about it do something to change it!" How right she was!!
Today on the cusp of my birthday I find myself staring up. Dwelling on those things I wish were different, but I have no power over to change. I find myself thankful for the many blessings I have in my life. I find myself grateful for my job, that I often may bitch about, but I should be grateful to have one at all, especially such a good one. I find myself grateful for the friends I have that I take so often for granted. I find myself grateful for my roommate, who is more then family or a friend, and who I don't show my love for often enough. I have a colorful and unique past, which I often scowl upon. I have a history of sorrow, that ironically has yielded so much joy. I have a wonderful boyfriend, who has made me so happy, and I pray will continue to do so in the time to come. Most of all I have a life full of love, joy, and hope that so often I don't value enough.
As this Birthday approaches I take the advice of those Angels at the site of the Ascension, and look forward. I look forward to the coming year with my Boyfriend, friends, and other countless blessings. I look forward to another year and all the memories I will build in it. I look forward to the many surprises and accomplishments that I know will come.
When Jesus shared His final words with His followers, they pried to try and get a few last answers out of Him before He left. His answer was simple, "It is not for you to know the times or seasons that the Father has established by his own authority." I look forward to all the joys and sorrows the Lord has in store in the coming year. The sorrows will only serve to make me stronger, and the joys will provide encouragement when I need it.
So here I am, living the last day of my 27th year. Who knows what the next year will bring! I promise you this though, I know that if I face each day looking forward instead of looking up, there will be nothing that I can't handle...and everything will only help me grow. So come on, 28! Bring me everything you have, I look forward to it all! After all, it can't be that bad, it's not like I'm turning 30. ;)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
A Treze De Maio
Today is a special day to any Portuguese person who closely follows their heritige. On this day in 1917, the Virgin Mary reportedly appeared to three shepherd children, Lucia Santos, and her two cousins, Francisco and Jacinta Marto.
Lucia described her vision of the Blessed Mother as "brighter than the sun, shedding rays of light clearer and stronger than a crystal ball filled with the most sparkling water and pierced by the burning rays of the sun." She appeared to the children while standing atop a rose bush, and continued to appear to them every month for 6 months on the 13th. To quell the doubt of the masses, the virgin provided the famous 'Miracle of the Sun' on October 13. In the sight of photographers, reporters, and indeed the entire world, the sun danced in the sky to prove that she in fact was truely there. This miracle can be seen on You Tube, or via many various forms of media. The children suffered much persecution from those who doubted their claims to have seen the Virgin. Even the Church itself doubted their initial claims, and today the famous 'Fatima Vision' is accepted by the Church and honored by countless faithful around the world.
What is it about such apparitions that captivates the faithful so deeply? Whenever an "image of Mary" appears on an overpass, a bulding's window, or if a cloud formation remotely resembles a religious image, the catholic faithful flock to it and proclaim it as something sent from God. Is this religious fanaticism? Yes and no. It is a clear indication of a world that desperately needs their God.
Something like Fatima crosses the lines of faith. It assures believers that what they have put their stock in is not in vein. The sun dancing over the fields of Portugal assured the faithful that the Virgin was in fact truely there. . . and we need that.
We, as human beings, have a natural tendency to not trust people. Sadly, we live a world where one persons testimony is not enough to make use feel assured. Weather it be a lover's fidelity, a child's word to his/her mother, confidence in a friend's confidence, the list goes on and on. Sadly that even extends to God.
As you all know, I spent many years studying for the priesthood, and I have alot of faith in my God, but I too sometimes need some kind of sign, some kind of something to be re-assured that He is in fact out there, and hears my pleas and my prayers. The eyes of faith see Him everyday, in the love that is shown me through others, in the silent prayers that He answers nearly everyday, and just in that feeling I have in my heart that He is there, and He does hear me...but still...its nice to have that little boost once in a while.
Mary showed the children of Fatima what Hell looked like, and the same of heaven. She also entrusted to them the famous 'Fatima Secrets', two of which were revealed pretty quickly, and the third remained a secret in the Vatican archives until 2000 when the Vatican told the world that the final secret was actually a prediction of the assasination attempt on the Pope, which happened on this day in 1981. The bullet which was removed from Pope John Paul II's body today sits in the crown atop the head of the statue of Our Lady of Fatima at the apparition site. The Pope attributed his life to the Virgin, claiming that it was her prayers which allowed him to live despite the odds against him.
The devotion to Our Lady of Fatima is one that runs deep in the veins of any Portuguese Catholic, and indeed has become a devotion beloved by all Catholics regardless of their ethnic background. I too have my own reasons for feeling so strongly about the Virgin of Fatima.
I have previously written about Father Bert Richman, the man who I had so much respect and love for, the priest who was the pastor at my parish and my inspiration to enter Seminary. He died at the end of my first year of studies. Towards the end of his life, the cancer had totally taken over his body, and he was on so many drugs and was so 'out of it' it got to the point where he could not even talk, and was tied down to his hospital bed. The man who I loved so deeply, who always had every answer, who held a PHD in American history...there he was, a speechless, heavily medicated vegetable. He had previously asked me to bring him his Rosary beads, which I did. During those last days, if you went to visit him, you would find him all tied down, working those beads through his fingers, silently praying those words he had known since his youth. On the day he died, I sat with him in his hospital room, and he suddenly said, clear as day, "She's here." I will never forget the feeling in that room. To this day I would argue with anyone, that she was there. His final words were those of the Hail Mary, "pray for us, sinners, now and at the hour of our death." There is no doubt in my mind that she came to him, she came to bring him home to his creator.
Its the little moments like that...its those little signs that God throws our way to assure us of his presence and his undying love. It's those little signs that re-assures our faith in the God we cannot see. It's a very human experience, just like as much as we trust and love a partner, or a friend, its the little things we do for one another that re-affirms that trust, and that love. Maybe we should all today remind those we love that we do in fact love them. Maybe the message of Fatima is a reminder, a reminder that sometimes we have to re-assure our loved ones that they are loved.
On May 13 1946, Cardinal Masalla, the personal delegate of Pope Pius XII, spoke at a Vatican celebration in honor of Our Lady of Fatima. He said, "The faithful virgin never disappointed the trust, put on her. She will transform into a fountain of graces, physical and spiritual graces, over all of Portugal, and from there, breaking all frontiers, over the whole Church and the entire world." In a world that was so devoid of hope, and in fact shrouded in the darkness of World War I, Communisim in Russia, and poverty all around, the Fatima message brought a glimmer of hope.
Maybe on this day, "Fatima Day" as coined by so many Portuguese faithful, we may all have that moment where we see the "sun dance". May we all take a step back and see the many blessings in our lives, instead of all the curses. When I first started in Seminary we had a retreat, and the priest who preached at it is one of the men in my life who I respect the most. He spoke about his first days in seminary. He was so excited to finally have his own bedroom, as he had always shared with siblings growing up. He was so excited about everything that came along with starting his studies for the priesthood. When he showed his mother his room, she looked at the screen on the window and said, "Theres a hole in the screen." his excitement about everything that was happening was kind of stomped out because all his mother could see was the hole in the screen.
That's what the message of Fatima says to us today. We can't always see the hole in the screen. We have to see the blessings and the wonderful things that we have in life. Those of you who ar efaithful readers undoubtedly noticed that my last post was pretty down and out. I was totally seeing the hole the screen, and nothing else. On this "Fatima Day" may we all see past the "holes in the screen". May we see the little blessings here and there that remind us that things will get better, things could be worse, and no matter what, we are never in this alone.
AVE AVE AVE MARIA, AVE AVE AVE MARIA!
Lucia described her vision of the Blessed Mother as "brighter than the sun, shedding rays of light clearer and stronger than a crystal ball filled with the most sparkling water and pierced by the burning rays of the sun." She appeared to the children while standing atop a rose bush, and continued to appear to them every month for 6 months on the 13th. To quell the doubt of the masses, the virgin provided the famous 'Miracle of the Sun' on October 13. In the sight of photographers, reporters, and indeed the entire world, the sun danced in the sky to prove that she in fact was truely there. This miracle can be seen on You Tube, or via many various forms of media. The children suffered much persecution from those who doubted their claims to have seen the Virgin. Even the Church itself doubted their initial claims, and today the famous 'Fatima Vision' is accepted by the Church and honored by countless faithful around the world.
What is it about such apparitions that captivates the faithful so deeply? Whenever an "image of Mary" appears on an overpass, a bulding's window, or if a cloud formation remotely resembles a religious image, the catholic faithful flock to it and proclaim it as something sent from God. Is this religious fanaticism? Yes and no. It is a clear indication of a world that desperately needs their God.
Something like Fatima crosses the lines of faith. It assures believers that what they have put their stock in is not in vein. The sun dancing over the fields of Portugal assured the faithful that the Virgin was in fact truely there. . . and we need that.
We, as human beings, have a natural tendency to not trust people. Sadly, we live a world where one persons testimony is not enough to make use feel assured. Weather it be a lover's fidelity, a child's word to his/her mother, confidence in a friend's confidence, the list goes on and on. Sadly that even extends to God.
As you all know, I spent many years studying for the priesthood, and I have alot of faith in my God, but I too sometimes need some kind of sign, some kind of something to be re-assured that He is in fact out there, and hears my pleas and my prayers. The eyes of faith see Him everyday, in the love that is shown me through others, in the silent prayers that He answers nearly everyday, and just in that feeling I have in my heart that He is there, and He does hear me...but still...its nice to have that little boost once in a while.
Mary showed the children of Fatima what Hell looked like, and the same of heaven. She also entrusted to them the famous 'Fatima Secrets', two of which were revealed pretty quickly, and the third remained a secret in the Vatican archives until 2000 when the Vatican told the world that the final secret was actually a prediction of the assasination attempt on the Pope, which happened on this day in 1981. The bullet which was removed from Pope John Paul II's body today sits in the crown atop the head of the statue of Our Lady of Fatima at the apparition site. The Pope attributed his life to the Virgin, claiming that it was her prayers which allowed him to live despite the odds against him.
The devotion to Our Lady of Fatima is one that runs deep in the veins of any Portuguese Catholic, and indeed has become a devotion beloved by all Catholics regardless of their ethnic background. I too have my own reasons for feeling so strongly about the Virgin of Fatima.
I have previously written about Father Bert Richman, the man who I had so much respect and love for, the priest who was the pastor at my parish and my inspiration to enter Seminary. He died at the end of my first year of studies. Towards the end of his life, the cancer had totally taken over his body, and he was on so many drugs and was so 'out of it' it got to the point where he could not even talk, and was tied down to his hospital bed. The man who I loved so deeply, who always had every answer, who held a PHD in American history...there he was, a speechless, heavily medicated vegetable. He had previously asked me to bring him his Rosary beads, which I did. During those last days, if you went to visit him, you would find him all tied down, working those beads through his fingers, silently praying those words he had known since his youth. On the day he died, I sat with him in his hospital room, and he suddenly said, clear as day, "She's here." I will never forget the feeling in that room. To this day I would argue with anyone, that she was there. His final words were those of the Hail Mary, "pray for us, sinners, now and at the hour of our death." There is no doubt in my mind that she came to him, she came to bring him home to his creator.
Its the little moments like that...its those little signs that God throws our way to assure us of his presence and his undying love. It's those little signs that re-assures our faith in the God we cannot see. It's a very human experience, just like as much as we trust and love a partner, or a friend, its the little things we do for one another that re-affirms that trust, and that love. Maybe we should all today remind those we love that we do in fact love them. Maybe the message of Fatima is a reminder, a reminder that sometimes we have to re-assure our loved ones that they are loved.
On May 13 1946, Cardinal Masalla, the personal delegate of Pope Pius XII, spoke at a Vatican celebration in honor of Our Lady of Fatima. He said, "The faithful virgin never disappointed the trust, put on her. She will transform into a fountain of graces, physical and spiritual graces, over all of Portugal, and from there, breaking all frontiers, over the whole Church and the entire world." In a world that was so devoid of hope, and in fact shrouded in the darkness of World War I, Communisim in Russia, and poverty all around, the Fatima message brought a glimmer of hope.
Maybe on this day, "Fatima Day" as coined by so many Portuguese faithful, we may all have that moment where we see the "sun dance". May we all take a step back and see the many blessings in our lives, instead of all the curses. When I first started in Seminary we had a retreat, and the priest who preached at it is one of the men in my life who I respect the most. He spoke about his first days in seminary. He was so excited to finally have his own bedroom, as he had always shared with siblings growing up. He was so excited about everything that came along with starting his studies for the priesthood. When he showed his mother his room, she looked at the screen on the window and said, "Theres a hole in the screen." his excitement about everything that was happening was kind of stomped out because all his mother could see was the hole in the screen.
That's what the message of Fatima says to us today. We can't always see the hole in the screen. We have to see the blessings and the wonderful things that we have in life. Those of you who ar efaithful readers undoubtedly noticed that my last post was pretty down and out. I was totally seeing the hole the screen, and nothing else. On this "Fatima Day" may we all see past the "holes in the screen". May we see the little blessings here and there that remind us that things will get better, things could be worse, and no matter what, we are never in this alone.
AVE AVE AVE MARIA, AVE AVE AVE MARIA!
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Journey
This weekend among the many festivities in honor of my Birthday Month Kick Off, one of the best was having the privlidge of moving Joshua's sister home from school for the summer. I sat on the bench outside of her dorm on a cigarette break and people watched for a few minutes. It was very uplifting to watch as the student ran about with family and friends, scurrying to empty their lives from these tiny dorm rooms, into cars and vans to take them back to otheir place of origin. Some will return in the Fall, other were saying final goodbyes. Seniors are stepping into the real world, Freshmen are no longer at the bottom of the ladder, Sophomores were becoming upperclassmen, and Juniors now face the reality that it will all be over in just a year. Whatever level they are at, they were excited, excited about their point in the journey.
That evening, two very good friends took me to Boston to see the new Star Trek movie, where I saw a continuation of this theme. A young James T. Kirk, scarred by the early death of his father is there at the launching of the Enterprise. His smart ass rebeliousness nearly leads to his character's demise, until a wise voice from the future informs him of his true destiny. This revelation inspires him to act rightly, and he takes his place as he should be, the Captain of the Enterprise.
The students of Salve Regina who I watched on Friday afternoon do not have the benefit of a foresight from the future. Nor do we either. They will never know what effect their relationships on each other will have in future days. The friendship between Kirk and Spock was a relationship that down the road would save the universe countless times over, and before Kirks revelation, that friendship nearly never forms.
Granted, Star Trek is scienece fiction, I know I dont often reveal that I understand that concept, but I do. However, the point is still the same. We really dont know how we all play into eachother's journey, but as the days, and years go on, we will slowly see. We will never know how we played into other's journey, and that is a question to which we may never have the answer.
Let's all do the best we can to be a positive effect in other people's journeys...lets remember non of us are on the journey alone. The journey is always more successful with a team. Kirk had a strong first officer, and a strong crew...to the students out there, those graduating and those who aren't .... enjoy your summer's rest, it's well deserved.
That evening, two very good friends took me to Boston to see the new Star Trek movie, where I saw a continuation of this theme. A young James T. Kirk, scarred by the early death of his father is there at the launching of the Enterprise. His smart ass rebeliousness nearly leads to his character's demise, until a wise voice from the future informs him of his true destiny. This revelation inspires him to act rightly, and he takes his place as he should be, the Captain of the Enterprise.
The students of Salve Regina who I watched on Friday afternoon do not have the benefit of a foresight from the future. Nor do we either. They will never know what effect their relationships on each other will have in future days. The friendship between Kirk and Spock was a relationship that down the road would save the universe countless times over, and before Kirks revelation, that friendship nearly never forms.
Granted, Star Trek is scienece fiction, I know I dont often reveal that I understand that concept, but I do. However, the point is still the same. We really dont know how we all play into eachother's journey, but as the days, and years go on, we will slowly see. We will never know how we played into other's journey, and that is a question to which we may never have the answer.
Let's all do the best we can to be a positive effect in other people's journeys...lets remember non of us are on the journey alone. The journey is always more successful with a team. Kirk had a strong first officer, and a strong crew...to the students out there, those graduating and those who aren't .... enjoy your summer's rest, it's well deserved.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
I Choose You
There is none of us Im sure who have never been to a Wedding. When I was in Seminary I had a priest friend who used to say he'd rather do a thousand funerals then one wedding, because the from the church side of things, a wedding is challenging. The bride is all excited because it is her day. Thousands of dollars have been sunk into this one massive event, the biggest day of her life, and she wants everything to be just perfect. There is only one problem with all of that...what about the groom?
I always felt that the groom was a bit shorted in the Church's wedding ritual. At a wedding there is no entrance procession. The priest does not approach the altar as at a regular Mass. Rather, the Bride and her party approach, and is greeted by the Groom and Priest at the foot of the altar. Today I read an article with which I couldnt agree more...why doesn't the bride process in, AND the groom process in after (or before) her. You see in a Wedding, the priest does not confer the sacrament on the couple, he is simply the witness who stands in the name of the Church and the State to testify to the union. The ministers of the sacrament of matrimony are in fact the bride and groom, who are conferring the sacrament on one another. The ritual clearly states, they enter into this sacrament freely, as two individuals, and on that day the two become one.
The focus that we have placed on the bride is enormous. How lovely she looks in her gown, etc etc. The bride is the center of the event. I remember standing in the Sacristy (the back room where the priest gets vested before Mass), when I was in seminary and chit chatting with one of the grooms (as I commonly did). I carried on the usual banter with him, asking if he was nervous, how was the bachelor party, etc etc. This one particular groom responded, "Im not nervous about anything, shes the one who should be worried. All eyes are on her not me."
Weddings have become more about the bride and "her day" then about the couple and their new life. The liturgy only encourages it. This is not to say that the bride should recieve less focus, but rather to say that the groom deserves more, as it is just as much of an event in his life as it is in hers. The article also suggested that rather then repeating the vows after the priest they instead should memorize them, so that when they share them, they have reflected on the words, and are well aware of what they are saying. Perhaps then they will be more inspired to live the vows they profess.
Those vows are not easy. They imply so many more things then they say. The most powerful of which, in my opinion are the last few words, which I have always found so moving; "I will love you and honor you, all the days of my life." Those words alone, sum up in one sentence everything that the rest of them say. "All the days of my life". That means the good days and the bad days. That means through all the downfalls and challanges. That means despite the other's weaknesses and failures. It's easy to love a man when he looks handsome in his tuxedo, or a woman when she looks like a princess in her sparkling white gown...but will you love them when you are 50 and the signs of the years are wearing on their face. Will you love them when you look at them and see the real them.
Since most of my friends are either priests or gay men, I dont have a close relationship with many married people, but I do want to publicly say that two couples with whom I am close realy nailed this whole Marriage thing. On one of my best friend's Wedding day I had the pleasure of being involved in the ceremony. I remember standing at the foot of the altar as Jenn came down the isle and her husband Bill saw her coming. I remember being floored by the look in his eyes. You could just tell when they looked at one another they saw the limitless future of possibilities that each one held for the other. My friends Rick and Marie are husband and wife, but more importantly, I dont know two people who are closer friends.
Thats what love is, or I should say, that's when you know love is real. When you look at your partner and see beyond the physical and see...them. When you see their weaknesses, their insecurities, their addictions, their areas in need of improvement, and their downfalls...and yet you still love them just as much (if not more)...that's love. The same is true in any relationship that involves love. I know the people in my life who truely love me. I know that love is deep because they see the raw, flawed, weak David Martins. . . and love me anyways.
That is when the love will stand through the toughest times, and the darkest nights. That is when criticisms go from being potentials for fights, to expressions of love and concern. That is when the "I'm sorry"s change into action. That's when the roadblocks and challanges in life turn into opportunities to work together, as a team, to become a stronger team. That is when we realize that each and everything that we do is an attempt to make our partner all that they can be, hence making us a stronger team.
That's why the Sacrament of marriage is the only one that the priest does not confer on you, but rather the couple confers on one another. In all the other Sacraments, the priest is doing something that is going to help the recipient get to Heaven. In Marriage, each partner is doing something to help the other partner get to heaven. One partner in fact gives his/her LIFE to helping the other get to heaven. Thats what a relationship is. That's what love is. Getting to Heaven is the ultimate fulfillment of what a Christian person can be. Therefore, when we love someone we do everything we can to help them be everything they can possibly be, the best they can be. Weather it be helping them improve on themselves, standing by them in times of trouble, or being patient with them in times of difficulty.
Love isn't easy. It's actually a very difficult choice. It's a choice because it's an action, and no action happens without choosing to do it. The couple chooses to stand in this union "as long as we both shall live". The people in my life who love me, who truely love me, always will...because they have decieded that the love they feel for me is so strong, that they will anchor themselves in it so that when the winds of difficulty come, they will not blow away.
I am forever greatful for those few people who truely love me. Not just the husband/wife kind of love either. Whatever kind of love we are talking about, we are all very fortunate to have love of any kind in our lives. It is my hope that we will all always have the strength to stand by that love. For various reasons the last few days I have come to see how deeply I am loved by different people and in different ways. Some who have been in my life since my Seminary days, some who have come along since, some whose love has changed types along the way but the love remains. So to those of you who know me best, and yet despite that love me just the same...I love you too.
I always felt that the groom was a bit shorted in the Church's wedding ritual. At a wedding there is no entrance procession. The priest does not approach the altar as at a regular Mass. Rather, the Bride and her party approach, and is greeted by the Groom and Priest at the foot of the altar. Today I read an article with which I couldnt agree more...why doesn't the bride process in, AND the groom process in after (or before) her. You see in a Wedding, the priest does not confer the sacrament on the couple, he is simply the witness who stands in the name of the Church and the State to testify to the union. The ministers of the sacrament of matrimony are in fact the bride and groom, who are conferring the sacrament on one another. The ritual clearly states, they enter into this sacrament freely, as two individuals, and on that day the two become one.
The focus that we have placed on the bride is enormous. How lovely she looks in her gown, etc etc. The bride is the center of the event. I remember standing in the Sacristy (the back room where the priest gets vested before Mass), when I was in seminary and chit chatting with one of the grooms (as I commonly did). I carried on the usual banter with him, asking if he was nervous, how was the bachelor party, etc etc. This one particular groom responded, "Im not nervous about anything, shes the one who should be worried. All eyes are on her not me."
Weddings have become more about the bride and "her day" then about the couple and their new life. The liturgy only encourages it. This is not to say that the bride should recieve less focus, but rather to say that the groom deserves more, as it is just as much of an event in his life as it is in hers. The article also suggested that rather then repeating the vows after the priest they instead should memorize them, so that when they share them, they have reflected on the words, and are well aware of what they are saying. Perhaps then they will be more inspired to live the vows they profess.
Those vows are not easy. They imply so many more things then they say. The most powerful of which, in my opinion are the last few words, which I have always found so moving; "I will love you and honor you, all the days of my life." Those words alone, sum up in one sentence everything that the rest of them say. "All the days of my life". That means the good days and the bad days. That means through all the downfalls and challanges. That means despite the other's weaknesses and failures. It's easy to love a man when he looks handsome in his tuxedo, or a woman when she looks like a princess in her sparkling white gown...but will you love them when you are 50 and the signs of the years are wearing on their face. Will you love them when you look at them and see the real them.
Since most of my friends are either priests or gay men, I dont have a close relationship with many married people, but I do want to publicly say that two couples with whom I am close realy nailed this whole Marriage thing. On one of my best friend's Wedding day I had the pleasure of being involved in the ceremony. I remember standing at the foot of the altar as Jenn came down the isle and her husband Bill saw her coming. I remember being floored by the look in his eyes. You could just tell when they looked at one another they saw the limitless future of possibilities that each one held for the other. My friends Rick and Marie are husband and wife, but more importantly, I dont know two people who are closer friends.
Thats what love is, or I should say, that's when you know love is real. When you look at your partner and see beyond the physical and see...them. When you see their weaknesses, their insecurities, their addictions, their areas in need of improvement, and their downfalls...and yet you still love them just as much (if not more)...that's love. The same is true in any relationship that involves love. I know the people in my life who truely love me. I know that love is deep because they see the raw, flawed, weak David Martins. . . and love me anyways.
That is when the love will stand through the toughest times, and the darkest nights. That is when criticisms go from being potentials for fights, to expressions of love and concern. That is when the "I'm sorry"s change into action. That's when the roadblocks and challanges in life turn into opportunities to work together, as a team, to become a stronger team. That is when we realize that each and everything that we do is an attempt to make our partner all that they can be, hence making us a stronger team.
That's why the Sacrament of marriage is the only one that the priest does not confer on you, but rather the couple confers on one another. In all the other Sacraments, the priest is doing something that is going to help the recipient get to Heaven. In Marriage, each partner is doing something to help the other partner get to heaven. One partner in fact gives his/her LIFE to helping the other get to heaven. Thats what a relationship is. That's what love is. Getting to Heaven is the ultimate fulfillment of what a Christian person can be. Therefore, when we love someone we do everything we can to help them be everything they can possibly be, the best they can be. Weather it be helping them improve on themselves, standing by them in times of trouble, or being patient with them in times of difficulty.
Love isn't easy. It's actually a very difficult choice. It's a choice because it's an action, and no action happens without choosing to do it. The couple chooses to stand in this union "as long as we both shall live". The people in my life who love me, who truely love me, always will...because they have decieded that the love they feel for me is so strong, that they will anchor themselves in it so that when the winds of difficulty come, they will not blow away.
I am forever greatful for those few people who truely love me. Not just the husband/wife kind of love either. Whatever kind of love we are talking about, we are all very fortunate to have love of any kind in our lives. It is my hope that we will all always have the strength to stand by that love. For various reasons the last few days I have come to see how deeply I am loved by different people and in different ways. Some who have been in my life since my Seminary days, some who have come along since, some whose love has changed types along the way but the love remains. So to those of you who know me best, and yet despite that love me just the same...I love you too.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The Birthday Month
I love my birthday. It falls on May 21st, which in my estimation is the perfect time to have a birthday. The season is starting to change, the warmer weather starts to come around, as we make the final few paces towards Summer. The dreaming starts about Beach days, bbqs at night, the coming of so many wonderful summer activities, and a final goodbye to the cold until it rears its ugly head again in the late fall. All of us homos start to break out the flip flops, and our one token pair of white pants. A time filled with so much change is a perfect time to reflect, as I always do around my birthday, on the year that has passed.
I think this year Ive learned alot of lessons. President Obama, in his speech to the nation on his 100th day said, "The ship of state is an ocean liner; it's not a speedboat...If we can move this big battleship a few degrees in a different direction, we may not see all the consequences of that change a week from now or three months from now, but 10 years from now, or 20 years from now" I think I have learned in my own life that this is so true. Change takes time. We have hopes and dreams, and goals but we have to be realistic about their time table. Some of the steps along the way may seem insignificant but they really arent in the big picture, they are small turns to guide the massive battleship to point in another direction. The end of which often pleasently suprises us when that ship reaches her destination.
I have also learned a good bit about friends. Once again, in the last year I have been blessed to have people there to stand by me in times when I needed it most.
I learned alot about risk. The risk of dropping down the walls that surround the deep vulnerable part of ourselves. "Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to." Love is a risk, a leap of faith. In Seminary we blindly gave our entire selves to a God who we could not see. That is the deepest faith of all. To throw it all down for Him, and not be able to know if we did the right thing, until its too late to undo anything. My general feeling of having been betrayed, both by that system, and by other significant people in my life at the time has always made it hard to drop those walls. This year I have learned to put faith in people again, and Im glad I did, as it had paid off in a wonderful relationship with an amazing person. . . which only further proved my previous lesson, that the small changes in life along the way can lead to something wonderful and unexpected if you wait long enough.
Ive learned most importantly to look back throughtfully, and see the hand of God in various moments in my life along the way. Instead of looking at my life begrudgingly, I look at it with hope, excited about the many suprises God has in store for me in my 28th year, as those course changes slowly start to reveal their various destinations.
I think back on past birthdays, the people I spent them with, and where I spent them. They range from those crazy nights out on the town, formal dinners, Parties at clubs, and even the year I celebrated looking out on the Dome of Saint Peter's in Rome. Very few faces were at every party. One or two have been consistant at the last five or so, and I pray will be there for many, many more. I am thankful for the new faces that will be at this one, and hope to God will be at many more as well. Theres something that I am extremely grateful for this year. . I have never celebrated a birthday without friends, and it always takes more then one celebration to cover it all!
As the various celebrations in my birthday month begin to unroll (the first of which is Friday) my smile only gets wider and wider. My feelings of hope build more and more, and the sun shines brighter each day as we move towards summer. (Despite the rain that's falling at the moment outside.)
As the last days of my 27th year unfold, and a new year approaches I will continue to reflect, and continue to make the small course adjustments neccessary to continue to guide the "Ocean Liner" of life towards the ultimate goal. I will continue to enjoy the many suprises along the way, and of course, continue to deal with those places where the water gets rough...because I know Im not alone on this boat...I got a First Mate, and one hell of a crew!
I think this year Ive learned alot of lessons. President Obama, in his speech to the nation on his 100th day said, "The ship of state is an ocean liner; it's not a speedboat...If we can move this big battleship a few degrees in a different direction, we may not see all the consequences of that change a week from now or three months from now, but 10 years from now, or 20 years from now" I think I have learned in my own life that this is so true. Change takes time. We have hopes and dreams, and goals but we have to be realistic about their time table. Some of the steps along the way may seem insignificant but they really arent in the big picture, they are small turns to guide the massive battleship to point in another direction. The end of which often pleasently suprises us when that ship reaches her destination.
I have also learned a good bit about friends. Once again, in the last year I have been blessed to have people there to stand by me in times when I needed it most.
I learned alot about risk. The risk of dropping down the walls that surround the deep vulnerable part of ourselves. "Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to." Love is a risk, a leap of faith. In Seminary we blindly gave our entire selves to a God who we could not see. That is the deepest faith of all. To throw it all down for Him, and not be able to know if we did the right thing, until its too late to undo anything. My general feeling of having been betrayed, both by that system, and by other significant people in my life at the time has always made it hard to drop those walls. This year I have learned to put faith in people again, and Im glad I did, as it had paid off in a wonderful relationship with an amazing person. . . which only further proved my previous lesson, that the small changes in life along the way can lead to something wonderful and unexpected if you wait long enough.
Ive learned most importantly to look back throughtfully, and see the hand of God in various moments in my life along the way. Instead of looking at my life begrudgingly, I look at it with hope, excited about the many suprises God has in store for me in my 28th year, as those course changes slowly start to reveal their various destinations.
I think back on past birthdays, the people I spent them with, and where I spent them. They range from those crazy nights out on the town, formal dinners, Parties at clubs, and even the year I celebrated looking out on the Dome of Saint Peter's in Rome. Very few faces were at every party. One or two have been consistant at the last five or so, and I pray will be there for many, many more. I am thankful for the new faces that will be at this one, and hope to God will be at many more as well. Theres something that I am extremely grateful for this year. . I have never celebrated a birthday without friends, and it always takes more then one celebration to cover it all!
As the various celebrations in my birthday month begin to unroll (the first of which is Friday) my smile only gets wider and wider. My feelings of hope build more and more, and the sun shines brighter each day as we move towards summer. (Despite the rain that's falling at the moment outside.)
As the last days of my 27th year unfold, and a new year approaches I will continue to reflect, and continue to make the small course adjustments neccessary to continue to guide the "Ocean Liner" of life towards the ultimate goal. I will continue to enjoy the many suprises along the way, and of course, continue to deal with those places where the water gets rough...because I know Im not alone on this boat...I got a First Mate, and one hell of a crew!
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