Seabiscuit

~ My "From The Pastor's Desk" Column on the Parish Website~

On this day in 1938 a historic race was won by a horse named Seabiscuit. Seabiscuit did not start out with a very promising future as a racing horse. He was undersized, “knobby-kneed” and lazy. Even when it was discovered that this poor creature had a hopeful future as a racing horse, he still wasn’t given much of a chance, and couldn’t be sold for a respectable amount of money. In 1938, on November 1 Seabiscuit earned the title and acclaim he had acquired in his defeat of “War Admiral” who was at the top of the “Horse Racing World”, till that point.

How appropriate that this all unfold on the Solemnity of All Saints. Today’s feast is a beacon of hope for all us underdogs out there. The Saints are made up of men and women who history never expected much from at the beginning, and history would end up gravely mistaken. The Apostles are a prime example. They were 12 uneducated, simple fishermen; who all but one gave their lives for the Church in martyrdom. Therese, our patroness, who died at 23 years old of Tuberculosis in her small convent of Carmel; no one knew, when they went to read her diaries that they would one day be published, and earn her the title of ‘Doctor of the Church”. There were Saints like Francis of Assisi and Augustine, who for the early part of their lives never thought twice about God, His Church, or even living good and respectable lives. Both men went on to found Religious Orders, and now are two of the most renowned names in Church History.

Look at the Saints we all know in our lives. The grandparents, parents, aunt, uncles, friends and neighbors who have gone home to the Lord and their eternal reward; how many of them were such underdogs as well? Perhaps immigrants from other countries who were forced to assimilate into a culture they knew nothing about in order to get work, and provide for their family. Perhaps they were single parents, who due to any number of reasons were left raising a child alone in an economy where even a 2 parent household is struggling. Perhaps they passed seemingly to the rest of the world without making a single wave…but we know that to be different, because they affected US.

What about the walking Saints among us? The underdogs who day in and day out go to work, try to pay their bills, and try to make it home to bed at the end of the day with as little incident as possible.

At AA they tell us that we are miracles. They say that every day that we look back on our past 24 hours of sobriety, it’s a miracle. Then when we look at how many of those 24 hour periods back to back we have collected for ourselves; we are a miracle. Miracles that are only possible through the grace of a loving God, to whom we have given over our will. It certainly is a miracle, but one that I certainly have had nothing to do with. Maybe the AA principle needs to apply to every aspect of our lives.

Give it all to God. Give God all the heartaches, headaches, bills, stress, arguments, successes and failures, and let Him work miracles. He seems to be in that line of work! Let God make something amazing out of the simplicity that is us. Like Seabiscuit conquering all the odds, like the Saints who went from paupers to heroes faith, like our Grandparents who made it in a new world, and like the drunk who everyday finds the willpower to not pick up a drink – God Works Miracles! We are still underdogs, because if we try to win these races alone, we surely will lose.
If we let God take over – the underdog becomes a formidable opponent.

Love Your Neighbor

This weekend on Sunday afternoon I went back to the old apartment to claim the last of my things. I brought Deacon Chris with me with hopes that he would help me in the discernment process of what can stay and what can go. Despite his insistence that if I “haven’t used it in the last month at the new house, you don’t need to keep it”, I still managed to haul two car loads of things back to Pawtucket. In the midst of all the sifting through stuff I found myself walking down memory lane, and when the room was cleared out, I stood for a moment and sort of looked around.

I couldn’t help but be filled with mixed emotions while taking it all in. I thought about when I first moved into the place. I was so excited to be starting in “my first apartment”. It was the first time I was living in my own place, and not renting a room in someone else’s home. I thought about all the ups and downs through the years. I came across old letters from ex’s that made their way into the “memory box”. I found tickets from movies, concerts, and plays that I went to with special people. I found an empty wine bottle that has traveled with me for about 5 or 6 years. I found a pumpkin carving kit, old engraved dog tags, a Transformer, and many other miscellaneous trinkets and tokens that I held onto as special memories from special events along life’s journey. Why do we keep this stuff???

We keep this stuff because it’s significant to us in some way. They certainly are not reminders of days I wish I could return to. Some of them are reminders of lessons I had to learn in life the hard way. Some of them are reminders of lessons that I continue to learn to this day. Some of them are reminders of people, who for better or worse; make me the person I am today.

In the Gospel on Sunday Jesus is asked a very pointed question “which one of the commandments is the greatest?” Jesus’ answer is one that has certainly gone down in history;

"You shall love the Lord, your God,with all your heart,with all your soul,and with all your mind.This is the greatest and the first commandment.The second is like it:You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."

In this very clear statement, Jesus makes it very clear that our relationship with one another is intrinsically linked with our relationship with God. The statement presupposes that we already love ourselves, and that we must love our neighbor in like manner. This love is just as significant – and in fact linked to – our love for God.

That’s how we end up with all this “stuff” over the years, because the people in our lives, and the memories that come with them are linked to the Divine. These people that God puts in our path along the way who leave an impression on our hearts are there for a reason. That’s why we hold onto all that stuff…that’s why we have memory boxes. That’s why even after sifting through all the leftover stuff in my apartment, and throwing away countless bags of trash, I still managed to fill two cars with what remained! Those items are things that are point towards something much deeper, something much more significant. The love that has been shown to me along the way from the people and memories attached to those items, were reminders of the love of God Himself.

From the outsider’s perspective, I think many would ask “why would you save that”, or “why would you want to remember them?” I mentioned that Jesus’ words presupposed that we love ourselves. There were definitely periods of life where I did not love myself, and hence the love I had for others was equally as flawed. The relationships I tried to maintain while I was under the influence of alcohol were all people who will no doubt be counted one day among the Saints. The love they showed for me despite my inability to rightly love in return is undoubtedly a testimony to the divine nature of love.

So now it is a new day, and as some of these trinkets and memories find their new home on a shelf at the new house I look upon them with a smile. That’s because I do love myself now. I love my flawed, broken, simple self. I can say that because I know that my God loves me, and He knows that each and every day I give it my all…because that’s all we can do. I know for a fact that He loves me, because attached to each and every one of those trinkets and nick-knacks is one of my “neighbors” who lived that message of Jesus in their heart, and loved me…for the mess I was.

From the outsider’s perspective I’m a pack-rat. From my perspective, I’m a lucky guy, who’s been blessed throughout my life with people who have contributed to who I am today – weather they intended to or not. I think the important lesson to be learned is that’s why it’s so important to love our neighbor – because maybe they don’t love themselves, maybe they feel alone, maybe no one understands them. So love your neighbor…they may be depending on it.

The First Day of School

“When day came, he called his disciples to himself, and from them he chose Twelve, whom he also named Apostles: Simon, whom he named Peter, and his brother Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus, Simon who was called a Zealot, and Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.” Luke 6:13-16

Today is the first day of school. This is a day that brings with it different feelings for different students. Those feelings vary with age, maturity, grade level, and academic situation. I remember the thrill of my first day of High School, looking forward to meeting new friends- and after a summer of updating my wardrobe, upgrading my hair style to something I considered more fashionable, and putting aside my glasses in favor of blindness – I was ready. I don’t think I cared very much about the classroom lessons that would come my way. I certainly had hopes each year of doing well in school, but I will freely admit that finding myself ranked among “the cool” was always a goal with each September.

As I got older this experience would change, but in many ways stayed the same. In Seminary with each new assignment came an opportunity to meet new people, and build a support system that was stronger than the year before. I remember the first night of my last assignment in Omaha, Nebraska. The Director of the Program had scheduled a welcome reception for all the seminarians a local bar/grill. The evening was open bar, courtesy of the program’s budget, and around 10:30 the Rector walked by the bar to inform the group of us who were sitting there that he was about to close the tab. We were welcome to stay, but we were on our own. When last call rolled around, the four of us were still sitting there, now facing a tab of our own, two very full ashtrays, and thanks to the haze the alcohol had provided over our judgment we had no doubt shared about ourselves far more then we needed to. I remember clearly one of the Seminarians turning and saying; “Well I know who I’m gonna hang out with this Semester – we are clearly the only ones who can hang.”

Even as adults our social circles are a key part of our daily life experience. We try to socialize with people who we can relate to, who understand us, and who are in some way in the same boat. The old saying “misery loves company” often comes into play.

Jesus knew the importance of friendship, as so early on in His ministry, He selected from among the many who were following Him with curiosity, 12 men who would be by His side over the next 3 years. Instead of building bonds over drinks and cigarettes, He would build bonds with these men by sharing with them the gift of Salvation. They would travel together, lodge together, eat together, cry and laugh together. Although Jesus is God, He was fully human in His earthly existence and knew the ups and downs that come along with friendship. No doubt His awareness of these feelings is why the Evangelist chose to set Judas aside in the description of the band of 12 men as being the one “who became a traitor”.

As I look back over the history of my own life I certainly see many friends who lasted for various lengths of time. We all can do that. We all have the friends like Judas, who would turn out to not be the most faithful…however also like Judas, their betrayal would turn out to be the catalyst for something greater. We have those few friends that have stayed by our side through thick and thin, like John, who found himself to be the only friend still standing at the foot of the Cross. Of course in our human experience we have those friends like Peter and the other Apostles, who despite claiming all the faith and fidelity in the world fail so often, yet after every fall brush themselves off, and continue to walk down the road of life’s journey right by our side.

In the last year or two I have come to learn a lot about friendship. Priorities in life change along the way, and sometimes friends can’t understand that. Like my experience in Omaha, I think we all find ourselves waiting to see who is going to be “able to hang”, who’s still going to be there at the many “last calls” that life brings our way. As we get older we change our definition of the word friend. We come to realize that what defines someone as a friend isn’t the one who pays the tab at the end of the night. It’s not a relationship that is defined by something like Facebook, which can be terminated with something as simple as the click of a mouse.

The Apostles didn’t always understand Jesus, they didn’t always agree with Him, and they certainly had their share of quarrels among them; but in the end they provided a definition of friendship that would stand the test of time. On Good Friday as Jesus was arrested and crucified, all but one ran and turned their back on Jesus when He needed them most. As Jesus hung on the cross and looked down so that He could commend the mother He was leaving behind to the care of one of His friends, all he found was John.

The happy life they had shared traveling, and talking about God and His love for them had come to an end. In what seemed like a moment, things changed, and all of a sudden it wasn't easy being friends with Jesus. The rubber had hit the road, and for this band of friends turning and running was the chosen course of action in response to all the false testimony, drama, and possible pain. The real betrayal of Judas is that when he realized the results of his betrayal, he took his own life, in an act of selfishness that was based on the thought that Jesus would never forgive him for what he’d done. The others realized they demonstrated a lack of faith in their friend, and so they would go on to give their lives for Him, and His Gospel.

The story of Jesus and his Apostles shows us that love and friendship is about giving, not taking. It proves that we all drop the ball as friends, but if it’s real it’s never to late to fix it. That’s how real friendship is defined and demonstrated; with generosity- generosity in love, giving, and forgiving. The depth of these things can never be expressed gathered at a bar, or on a Facebook wall, and history may not always record them rightly, but an accurate testimony is kept forever engraved on our hearts.

Unless You Become Like Children...

“Amen, I say to you; unless you turn and become like children,
you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven”
- Matthew 18:3

I went to bed with a lot on my mind last night.

There was all the usual stuff like the Parish, and my work as a priest; How am I doing? Am I missing anything? Are we welcoming enough? Are the bills paid?

There was the usual stuff like work; Did I turn everything off when I left? Did I remember to save that slideshow I was working on? Was the advice I gave that youth helpful?

There was the stuff particular to that day; When will he ever learn to forgive, and stop carrying such anger in his heart? Will she ever be relieved of the ongoing addition of burden in this life, or will she have to wait until paradise to enjoy the freedom of peace?

We all go to bed with a whole world that continues to turn in the universe of our minds. That world contains worries about life, love, pain, bills, stress, relief, and the list goes on. It’s a miracle we get any rest at all during the five – eight hours we lay in rest at night. Then this morning I read today’s Gospel, with the above words from Jesus, “unless you become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven.”

A child has a certain innocence that we lose as we get older. The first time our heart gets broken, we become more guarded with our feelings, and the more it happens, the stronger that guard becomes. We get our first financial responsibility; maybe a cell phone, or a car payment, and it serves as the first of many bills to juggle in our heads. We learn how to worry about other people, people who invite us into their lives; friends, lovers, family, and co workers. We learn about gossip and the harm it can cause in our lives and the damage it can bring to a community. The lessons life teaches are often hard, and can only be learned through the shedding of more than one tear. If we were to stop for a moment and think back, especially on a sunny day like today, to life as a child playing in a yard on a summer’s day – we remember a life that was very different.

As a child when we got up in the morning, we were eager. Eager to enjoy the weather, eager to see our friends from the neighborhood, eager to see what discoveries of the world were in store for us today. Somewhere along the line we lose all that.

Children have such open hearts that are free from the damage of such pain and suffering. A child has never endured heartbreak, received a letter from a collections agent, dealt with car problems, or lost sleep due to worry and concern. That’s why Jesus advises us to become like little children; it’s for our own sanity!

A child forgives before receiving an apology, and loves without prejudice. A child plays a game of basketball alone, but in the amazing world of their imagination, they may be a member of a full team of players, competing against another team. They may fill the role of a point guard, a forward, or a center. As this NBA Championship game plays out in their imagination and they run around the court full of such energy they don’t even for a moment consider that an onlooker may think them crazy, because they only see a child, playing basketball all alone.

As adults we can’t even begin to imagine participating in such silliness. We would worry about others seeing us and think we had gone mad. We don’t have time with the responsibilities of life that occupy us. Perhaps even if we had the time, and the care-free attitude to do so, we are so affected by our life experience that the concept of a team that works together without malice, or the drive of an individual ego is so absurd- the only place it can exist is in the imagination of a child.

That’s the challenge of life. How do we reclaim that childlike passion that we can do anything we set our mind to? How do we see past the stress, and see all the blessings? How do we free our hearts of the pain and anger we carry so that we can live the lives of good and upright people that we are called to? How do we find the courage to let our hearts be open to someone else, risking the pain and suffering we have learned from in the past?

It’s a risk. It’s a risk to become like little children, but the reward is worth it. The reward of Paradise to be certain, but the reward we receive right here in the world we live in. The reward of love, happiness, freedom from grudges, or maybe, just maybe – even a good night’s sleep.

Sometimes We All Need A Good Cry

When’s the last time you had a good cry? There is something healthy about crying I have decided. It’s a cleansing experience. What makes us cry? We cry when we are in pain, physical or emotional. We cry when we are overwhelmed with happiness, and we cry when we are overwhelmed with sorrow.

Some contemporary empirical research would argue that sometimes we cry simply because we need hug. This modern research explains how a part of our humanity is our connection with others, our natural drive for community. Crying is a part of an expression of desire to connect to that community, a need to recharge, which is perhaps why so often our tears tend to slow, if not completely stop, when they are met with an embrace from someone we love.

Today is the Feast of Mary Magdalene. Mary was one of Christ’s followers while He was on this earth. Everyone seems to have their own take on this woman. Some tradition simply speaks of her colorful past from before meeting Jesus, some say she was a prostitute, and a movie produced in the late 90’s claimed she was a source of sexual temptation for Christ even as He hung on the Cross. Whatever her history was, the morning of the Resurrection, we know that she arrived at the tomb with two of the Apostles, and upon discovering that the tomb was empty, the apostles ran to tell the others, while Mary stood and cried. She cried because in that moment all she needed was Jesus. It was bad enough He was dead, so He wouldn’t be able to hear her, comfort her, or advise her as He previously had, but now even His body is gone. All she wanted and needed was a few moments with the only person who ever REALLY knew her. The result; she sees the Risen Jesus, who stands before her and asks why she is “seeking the living among the dead”.

I think we are in many ways a lot like Mary Magdalene. We go through our daily lives doing the best that we can, we are good people who pay our bills, go to work to make an honest days pay, we seek companionship in friends and lovers, we try to save for the future, and strive to reach our goals. In the meanwhile everyone else seems to have their own take on us. People construct their own opinions, and like the historians who wrote extensive pieces justifying their opinions on Mary Magdalene, when our name comes up in others’ conversation people promulgate the opinion they have constructed. History records its own many variations of our story; none of which ever seem to capture the real story of us.

I had the honor of presiding over a funeral yesterday for a man who was with his partner for 33 years. As the new widower stood at the casket of his beloved, he put his hand on the hand of the deceased and as a tear rolled down his cheek he offered a silent goodbye to the person with whom so much had been shared over the course of three decades. I was reminded in that moment of the scene a few days earlier in his Hospice Care Facility, as he who is now deceased lay on his bed, with tubes connected to his nose, breathing his final days breath. His partner held his hand that day too, as he said to me, “Father we had our ups and downs, but we always worked through it. I am just so grateful.”

I know I have those moments, we all have them. We all face those moments where for whatever reason, and in response to sometimes unknown stimulus, we get that feeling inside of us that says, “no one understands me.” We have moments where we feel so upset, and if only someone could live inside of our heads for just a minute, and feel what we feel, and look at life through our eyes they would completely understand our pain – but when asked to put it into words we can’t, or when we try, it doesn’t communicate to the person who is listening. That’s because often life’s burden is so personal, that if given the opportunity to allow someone else to help us carry it, we wouldn’t even know how to distribute the weight to those who were willing to help. There is no sense in trying, because each of our individual crosses is fashioned for no other shoulder but our own.

The lesson of Mary Magdalene is that there are going to be times that we run to the tomb and find it empty. There are going to be those moments when we are going to turn to that which strengthens us and be unable to find it, for the Christian that strength is Jesus Christ, and there will be times where even He will be seemingly absent. In Mary’s case the Risen Christ was hidden in the form of who she thought was the groundskeeper. Where is Christ hidden waiting for us? I can’t answer that question, for each of us it is different. What I do know is that for Mary step one was a good cry, then she was able to recognize the Risen Lord. So when we feel the tears coming, we need to let them flow. Allow yourself a good cry. Then after it’s over, embrace that feeling of release, that consolation that we find somewhere deep inside of us when its over, that sense of relief as though those tears were each weights that were adding to life’s burden.

Enjoy your next good cry, it’s God’s way of cleansing the heart and soul, so that like Mary, we can see the Risen Christ among us, and hear Him when inquires; “Why do you seek the living among the dead?”

Oh Say Does That Star Spangled Banner Yet Wave

The Fourth of July is my favorite holiday – bar none. When I was growing up, we didn’t really do a WHOLE lot for the big day. My dad’s birthday is the day after, and my best friend’s birthday is the day before. We usually had a family cookout somewhere near the day, and did the whole fireworks thing. My best friend would have his Birthday Party every year, and the Fourth of July burned itself into my memory as a time of celebration.

When I was in the summer after my first year of Seminary, Father Bert Richman, my Pastor, inspiration, and very dear friend was called home to the God who made him. He closed his eyes to this world, on July 3, the same day as that friend’s birthday (who was also good friends with Fr. Bert). For me, in that moment, the Fourth of July stopped being a cause to celebrate.

The next year, as I grew further and further away from those things of my youth I made friends with someone new, who introduced me to the world of the Fourth of July Bristol style. He allowed me a glimpse each year on July 3rd and 4th into a world of nonstop cookouts, the Parade, Fireworks, and the town of Bristol in a whole new light. Who knew that the laws of the State that applied everywhere else stopped applying on those days.

After leaving Seminary I found myself again growing further and further away from the world I knew, as my priorities changed yet again, but with it came a certain emptiness on the Fourth of July. A day that had formerly been about friends and family had become a day that only reminded me of the reality that my life was a mess, and if I was going to make something of it, I had to do something soon.

This year the Fourth of July really touched me. I had the pleasure of officiating at the Marriage of two Military personnel, who due to their service to this Nation had been forced to reschedule the event multiple times. At the Parish Mass on Sunday we celebrated the great gift of Freedom. The true freedom that is only found in Christ – and the debt of gratitude we owe to our military for establishing, and defending our freedom to worship and grow with Christ however we find most suitable. I thought to myself tonight, while watching the fireworks that I had the joy and honor of being engaged in ministry all weekend long – and the freedom to do so is only possible because of the service and sacrifice of so many in our Armed Forces, and indeed even the hard work of our fore fathers who set that wheel in motion.

I thought about my own life. I thought about how all the things about the Fourth of July that I have loved through the years as they have come and gone have been a testimony to who I am, and key in making me the person I am today. Maybe that’s why we as Americans relate so well to the Fourth of July. It’s the epitome of American optimism.

The Star Spangled Banner tells the story of the American Flag flying proud the day after a long battle. We go through life fighting to stay a step ahead. We try to stay a step ahead of the bills, our boss, our family, our friends. We try to keep our head above water, and when Summer comes we grasp at the opportunity to embrace a well deserved rest. The Fourth of July comes, and we gather with friends and family and watch fireworks, and hear the Star Spangled Banner in the background and we cant help but feel proud, and grateful. We are proud of ourselves for being survivors, and proud that we live in a Nation of such opportunity. We are grateful for the successes we have seen in our own lives, and grateful for the success of those before us that provided the possibilities that are available to us. Despite everything, after the long night’s battle…the flag was still there. We too will make it through the long dark nights filled with “rockets red glare”, and “bombs bursting in air”. We too will “give proof through the night”.

So my friends as this Fourth of July comes to its close all I can really say, is “God Bless America”.

True Freedom

Homily from Sunday, July 3,2011
________________________

The story is told of an elderly priest who had taken up his residence at a local Parish upon his retirement. Adjacent to the Parish was the Parish school, where he would frequently go and visit the classes. On one occasion he wandered into a History class, and asked the kids if they were able to name the 50 states. The class struggled to come up with about 35 or 40 of them, and the old priest shook his head and said, “when I was your age, we would have had no problem naming every state.”

To which one young man replied, without missing a beat, “Father that’s not fair, when you were our age, there were a lot less of them.”

I think that many of us here present are from a generation that placed a heavy value on things like history and social studies. We learned the States and Capitols. We learned things like the text of the Gettysburg Address, the Preamble of the Constitution, and the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence, and in fact with the help of Schoolhouse Rock, we even learned the process of signing a Bill into a Law.

The sad reality is, that in 2009 when surveyed less than 50 percent of students could identify the origin of the sentence, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal” as being from the Declaration of Independence. In fact, when asked to match it with the appropriate historical document, many even claimed that it was taken from the Communist Manifesto. That’s why days like the Fourth of July are so important. Young people will sit and watch the events from Bristol broadcast on television tomorrow, and see the bands, floats, and the many participants dressed as Uncle Sam, George Washington, and so many others, and they will receive a visual, albeit not terribly accurate, lesson in American History. Celebrations of the Fourth of July ensure that the words of people like Ronald Regan don’t come to pass when he said, “I'm warning of an eradication of the American memory that could result, ultimately, in an erosion of the American spirit”.

The core of our American values is freedom, and this idea that all men and women are created equal. The freedom to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is the American dream that we hear quoted so often by so many people. In the political arena we hear about so many people who are fighting for these rights. Immigration, same sex marriage, abortion, and so many other political entanglements are fought over with each side arguing their interpretation of the words “freedom” and “equality”.

Jesus gives us in this weekend’s Gospel the true definition of freedom, which may come as a bit of a surprise when we first read it. He says, “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves; for my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

A yoke is a symbol of submission. A yoke with a plow was attached to oxen. Farmers used the oxen to plow their fields. So Jesus is telling us that in finding rest, in finding freedom, we do not cast away everything, he is saying that taking on HIS yoke is an easy burden. He is saying that in being submissive to HIM instead of the world, we will find rest, we will find true freedom.

It’s freedom because submission to unjust authority is oppression. Living a Christian life entails taking on burdens and responsibilities, but the yoke of Jesus is far easier to bear than the yoke of sin and guilt. The yoke of Jesus is far easier to bear then the yoke of the world, of work, of earthly respect and rank. Christ promises that true happiness will be ours in heaven, where the yoke of this world will matter no more, and where the only thing that will matter is him, where HIS yoke, will be the only one to bear. This must be, then true freedom, submission to Christ.

America cast off the yoke of England, an unjust authority. Those early free states then came together, and formed a union. A union that was dedicated to this idea that all were created equal, and that all deserved the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This freedom they found was not free, rather it came at a great price. It came at the price of many lives, and since 1776 there have been the loss of so many more lives, given to defend that freedom, given so that we could have the freedom to gather here this morning and celebrate these Sacred Mysteries, given so that we could gather in the same building as men and women of a different faith as they worship the same God differently two flights of stairs away, given so that no matter what the law says about things like civil rights, immigration, taxes, government spending, or any other thing - we can come here, and take comfort in the only freedom that matters, the only true freedom, the only yoke we have any interest in bearing.

The freedom promised in bearing the Yoke of Jesus also comes at its own price. It comes with its own responsibilities, sacrifices, losses and gains. So now its our turn. Countless lives have been given in the name of this ‘Great American Experiment’. Countless lives have been given so that you and I can have the freedom to enter into our experience of God however we want, so that we can experience the freedom Jesus has to offer in the way that suits us best, in short; men and women have died so that we can have the freedom to pick up that yoke. Don’t we owe it then, to do our part, and pick it up? The greatest gratitude we can show, is to lay down our lives to Jesus Christ, and bring to fulfillment the freedom whose foundation was laid centuries ago with the proud declaration, “We the people of the United States..”

God Bless You
And May God Bless America

Simplistic Ignorance

It must be a Thursday; it’s usually on Thursday that I peruse the local Catholic Press, the Rhode Island Catholic. This week’s issue had a story that managed to make my blood completely boil, and now that I’ve hit the ripe age of 30, that can’t be good for my health.

I understand that the topic of Same Sex Marriage has been covered from every possible angle, but I only really get heated when someone in a public forum claims to be talking about same sex marriage, but in actuality is only promoting their own ignorance. This week's RI Catholic Article features Chris Plante, Executive Director of the National Organization for Marriage in RI (NOM). The Diocese of Providence has collaborated with NOM in their "ministry to defend Marriage" during this battle in Rhode Island for Marriage Equality. If you want to argue about same sex marriage, then argue about same sex marriage - don't simply spout your simplistic ignorance.

“If marriage is redefined to include two persons of the same gender, there is no way to stop further redefinitions as different individuals see fit, such as marriage to several people in polygamy, to siblings or cousins, or even to animals,” Plante said. “A lawyer will be right beside them to justify their idea based on the legalization of gay marriage. Marriage is between a man and a woman, or it is nothing.”

Well Mr. Plante, let's not get ridiculous. Frankly I find your ridiculous comparison insulting. The irony is; in actuality the LGBTQ Community simply wants the same right that is already afforded to two Cousins in the State of Rhode Island.

I respect the Diocese for standing up for a Theology that they believe in. Weather I agree with it or not is a non issue. However, when the discussion goes from talking about Theological points to outright bigotry and ignorance, and the Diocese in sponsoring those talks, is sponsoring bigotry and ignorance.

In another interview on March 3, 2011 Plante is venting about how same sex marriage will destroy families. How it will force good and upright people like him to teach their children that same sex marriage is ok. He goes on to say that; “What homosexual marriage boils down to is an effort by two adults to have their relationships justified by the government. It turns children into accessories.” He goes on, “children become accessories to fulfill the whims and desires of two adults”. What the hell does that mean Mr. Plante? There is no mistaken context here either. I invite you to watch his testimony to ignorance for yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8-QsWQCGiM&feature=player_embedded#at=15) .

Is the marriage between a man and a woman supposed to be the universal and objective testimony to quality child rearing? So the 26 percent of young people who are thrown out of their homes when they “come out” to their parents in the State of RI are being treated with great dignity? It sounds to me like children are already being treated like they are something that can just be tossed aside, or disregarded when no longer convenient, and ironically, it’s happening around this very issue.

Don’t try to use this issue to talk about protecting children and families, because justified ignorance and bigotry (just like this) is exactly what is currently affecting children and destroying families.

In his interview that the link above will take you to, Plante is sharing his disgust at a children’s book, which depicts a Prince choosing his life partner. All the princesses are brought in, and the prince is not interested in any of them. It’s not until the other prince comes to the room, when he finds love. The book ends with the two kissing. As you can imagine Plante is horrified at the idea of a second grader reading this book.

What about the second grader who identifies with the story in that book? We don’t think about him do we? What about the young person who sits in desks in classrooms everyday and listens to stories, TV shows, movies, and stories about boys falling in love with girls, and at every moment of life in the society that he lives in he is reminded that he is different. What about the young person who is so scared of becoming a part of the 26 percent, they take their own life before they run the risk? What about the young person who is so tired of feeling so different from the prince in most books that he/she takes their own life. What about them Mr. Plante? What about the LGBT youth, who face bigotry and ignorance everyday because of who they are, because of an attraction that they feel, and they turn to substance abuse, they become depressed, they skip school to avoid being bullied

“In 1996 the homosexual agenda really came onto the scene in Rhode Island, and a lot of our non discrimination, accommodation, homosexual adoption laws came onto the books.” Plante sites this as the beginning of the story. He points this out as the first visible movement of the LGBTQ community that would eventually lead to the push for marriage equality. The homosexual “agenda”. Imagine the audacity of the gays to not want to be discriminated against. Imagine the horror that a woman doesn’t want to be refused employment because of who she is sexually attracted to. Imagine!

The article from the RI Catholic goes on to quote Plante further; “We often hear that ‘all gays want is to be left to live their own lives’. But that is not true. They want homosexual marriage legalized, and that would affect our freedom of religion and of conscience.” No Mr. Plante, it really wouldn’t. It would affect your “freedom to hate” which is what you are doing. That article and that interview do not talk about the pros and cons of passing piece of legislature. They are an expression of your own hatred and ignorance, which you are carrying in the public view on the back of a piece of legislature, and which is funded by the Diocese of Providence, and frankly: It Makes Me Sick.

Where Is Your Joy?

Philip Neri was a priest who died at the end of May in 1595, and today, May 26th, is the day the Church Universal celebrates his memorial. Philip was a classic Saint of that Century, exposed to great riches, and instead walked away, founded a Religious community, and chose a life of Saintly poverty.

Augustine, the great Saint of the Church who lives so many centuries earlier is quoted in today’s reading from the Office of Readings on the occasion of Philip’s feast. He says;

“Let joy in the Lord prevail, then, until joy in the world is no more. Let joy in the Lord go on increasing; let joy in the world go on decreasing until it is no more. That is said, not because we are not to rejoice while we are in this world, but in order that, even while we are still in this world, we may already rejoice in the Lord.

You may object; I am in the world; if I rejoice I certainly rejoice where I am. What is this? Do you mean that because you are in the world you are not in the Lord? Listen again to the Apostle speaking now to the Athenians; in the Acts of the Apostles he says this of God and the Lord our creator: In Him we live and move and have our being. If he is everywhere, where is he not?”

I find Augustine’s words of great interest, because when we look at Saints like Philip Neri, their story implies that there is such perfect holiness in walking away from everything, from all the riches and “glories” of the world, and living in poverty for the Lord is the way to go.

As I sit, I type these words on my Laptop which is not technically mine yet, as Rent-A-Center still is the formal owner. That laptop sits on a stand I bought at Walmart years ago, which had to be re-assembled due to its age twice. I sit in my Apartment on the West Side of Providence, whose expenses I share with a roommate because I can’t afford it on my own.

I am not crying poverty by any means, I am simply pointing out the reality of a situation that most people I know share. The specifics may be different, the details are never the same, but I don’t know any rich people. In 2011 the reality of walking away from everything and living a life dedicated solely to Christ and His works in such a publicly dramatic way is next to impossible. The last time that I saw a nun in her habit in public, she was standing at the next teller in the bank. I couldn’t help but over hear her conversation; “Well I was confused because when I checked the account online…”

My friends these are not bad or sinful things. The reality of it is we live in a different world than that of Philip Neri. When Christ comes again in all His glory, I’m sure that someone will snap a picture of it with their IPhone, and post it to Facebook the moment it happens. I doubt the Lord will warn us of His coming via Twitter, but He will certainly return to find a world that is very different than the one He left. Those things that used to mark ones riches are now a sign of poverty. I remember in Middle School we all used to love going over this one friend of mine’s house because he had dial-up Internet, and had access to a world some of us did not. If that was still his method of connecting to the web, he would live in the Stone Age by our contemporary analysis.

There is nothing sinful about “the world”. Augustine talks in the passage above about “joy in the world” vs. “joy in the Lord”. What Augustine is talking about is a state of mind, an awareness, not the measure (or lack thereof) of things we possess. If poverty were the key to holiness, then the Church would not spend so much time and energy trying to improve the lives of those for whom poverty is a daily experience.

As a “worker Priest” this passage from Augustine resonates deeply with me. I work in the modern world, I have a career, granted non-profit work is not an ambition driven line of work, but it’s a career none the less. I’d like to go on a nice vacation every year. I’d like to save some money and drive a nice car one day. I like having a Blackberry that connects me to everything with the touch of a button. I worry about how I look, and I enjoy all the same pleasures as anyone else. Yet I am also a Catholic Priest. I have been Ordained through the ministry of the Church to be a shepherd to the sheep the Lord sends me. I celebrate the Sacraments of the Church, making Christ a real and present reality in the daily lives of those who seek them. By virtue of my Ordination, I am called to find my joy not in the world, but in the Lord. How does one live in both realities?

Augustine hits the nail on the head; “In the Lord we live and move and have our being.” It is the generosity of the Lord that makes any of the pleasures of this world possible. The worker Priest, and indeed any Christian who lives in the contemporary world, are both called to remember this concept in our daily lives. In the Rite of Christian Burial there is a line that reads, “We give thanks for the blessings you have bestowed upon N in this life, they are signs to us of your goodness and of our fellowship with all the Saints in Christ”.

If my “joy” in this life is in the Lord; then that means that as I live my daily life in the world, it is pointing to Christ. It means that when I go to work in the morning, and do the best job that I can, I am doing the Lord’s work; because I am a Christian, and my joy is in Him. If I drive a nice car to go there, then that means I am using that car to do his work. When we find success, we give thanks to God, as it is HIS success. The sexual attraction we feel towards our partner is a sign to us of God’s goodness, not just a human urge that we are trying to satisfy.

Two people could both have all the same worldly things. They could both have the same success, the same nice car, equally impressive homes with equally attractive partners. They could go on the same refreshing vacations, and eat at the same lavish restaurants. However, if one finds their joy in the Lord, and one finds their joy in the world, those two people are in fact very different at their core.

To be a good Christian is not to be an extremist, it’s to remember that we look at the world through Christ’s eyes, and just as He accepted nothing to His own credit, we do not either. So let us truly live those words that someone else will pray on our behalf on the day we are laid to rest. Let us give thanks for the blessings God has bestowed on us in this life; they are signs to us of His goodness, and of our fellowship with all the Saints in Christ.

Thirty

It’s my birthday month. A month that typically when I sit to put my thoughts together into a Blog, the words come freely, and oh so naturally. This year though, it’s different. It doesn’t happen quite as easily as usual, and I think it’s because this year, my birthday marks something different for me.

My attitude this time of year is usually one where I look back at the year that has passed, and evaluate, as I look forward to what is to come…almost my own personal New Years Eve. Usually I realize that the year that has passed was no different than the year before, and I vow to myself to make the one that is to come so much different.

This year has certainly been very different then all the rest. I started it off by being Ordained a Priest. I began this year of my life by bringing to fulfillment a journey that began over ten years ago. The beauty of the mystery of life is that the fulfillment of one journey is always just the first steps of another. In the last year I have opened a Parish, dove full steam ahead into my ministry, changed into a “day job” that is much more cohesive with the rest of my life, and above all else, and perhaps most remarkable, I sobered up. That’s no joke of a year!

All these things however really are meaningless, if I haven’t learned something from all of it. That’s the real question, what lessons did I learn this year?

I learned about relationships. I learned that it is the highest form of arrogance to think that we have control over how others feel about us. I learned that friendship is not when someone will sit with you at a bar when life feels like its falling apart…rather a friend is the person who reminds you of your worth when you feel worthless, who loves you when you don’t deserve it, and who forgives you when you realize that you were wrong.

I learned about people. I learned that some people can only find their own sense of worth when they look for it in a subjective rather than an objective way; when being in a better place then someone else equals being in a good place. As a result, I’ve learned that judging myself by the terms of others will never yield success.

I learned about money. I learned that when we do something right the first time around, it pays off in the future in ways we never get to see…unless we do it wrong, in which case it ends up exponentially more expensive. I’ve learned that stressing over money will not make more of it, nor will it decrease the demand of it from others.

I learned about leadership. I learned that being a good means living in good balance. Rather than allowing the many passions of life to motivate and drive us, it’s when we keep them all in a healthy balance that we become solid leaders.

I learned about asking for help. I learned that not being ashamed to ask for help, and admit our weakness is the highest form of love and respect that we can show to another person. I also learned that the true friend is rarely who we expect, and in those moments the true value and meaning of that word comes to glaringly clear definition.

In all of these things I learned about God. I learned that God really is as amazing as I preach that He is. I learned that He can do awesome things when I shut up and get out of His way. One Sunday in early December I looked at the Host at Mass and confided in God a secret: I admitted that I needed help. I admitted that I had an alcohol problem, and I couldn’t deal with it alone. A week later I found myself in rehab, and came home to a world that had taken nothing away from me, in fact it was laid out in front of me in naked honesty, and the parts of it that mattered was eagerly waiting to see if I would be able to do all the things it had always suspected I was capable of. I also found that same God who proved Himself by answering my silent scream for help, waiting to continue to prove Himself every step of the way, as He always had, I just hadn’t always seen Him.

So now I find myself turning 30. When we are kids we can’t wait to be adults. When we are teenagers we look forward to turning 18, when we are 18 we can’t wait to be 21, when we turn 21 we look forward to every birthday between 21 and 25 because with each one we move a step away from being “just 21”. We turn 25, and view it as the height of our youth in a way. Life is just beginning, our school lives are older, the fun is being had, all while we are learning about the correlation between how we treat our bodies, and how we look. At that juncture we look at 30, and expect that when that page of the calendar turns, life will be right where it should be.

So here I am about to turn that page, and I can’t help but wonder what my 18 year old self would think if he saw me now. If that tall, lanky, awkward boy with a full head of hair, could look at me face to face would he smile with approval, or shake his head in disappointment. I don’t know that he would even recognize me. He would see a man who has traveled all over this country and others. In my eyes he would see 12 years worth of hurt, pain, and rejection. He would see the tracks of 12 years of tears. He would see creases in my face from 12 years of smiles, and the hand prints of soooo many people on my back who have embraced me in love. The most unrecognizable thing he would find is that the only smile this person cares about is the one he sees when he looks in the mirror, because it means that he was able to make the focal point something other then himself.

All in all, I have to say I feel quite proud of the man who crosses the threshold out of his twenties and into his thirties. He does so holding on tightly to the lessons he’s learned and eager for those that are to come. I walk into this birthday stone sober, resolved, happy, and walking with the companion I have found in Christ, and hoping to share His company with whoever would like to join us in this amazing journey that was intended for many more than just the two of us.

Irish Beer, a Shot of Whiskey, and Unrealized Dreams

This is a very exciting weekend for those who are steeped in cultural pride. Saint Patrick’s Day was today, followed by a day to recover, and the next day is Saint Joseph’s Day. On the 17th everyone is Irish, and on the 19th everyone is Italian, the irony is, neither Saint was of the heritage that celebrates them with such pride.

Both men were very unassuming, and ironically little fact is known about either of them. Much of what we do know is surrounded by tradition and legend. We uphold that both men were motivated by dreams. Joseph, according to Sacred Scripture, was warned by an Angel in a dream to take the Christ Child, and His mother Mary from Bethlehem, and flee to the land of Egypt when Herod ordered the infamous Massacre of the Innocents. After hiding in Egypt, he was again guided by an Angel in a dream to take the family, and return to Nazareth when the plight was over. Patrick, according to legend, was visited by an Angel in a dream while he was in captivity in Ireland, after being torn from his home land of Britain. He was told that it was time for him to leave Ireland so he fled back to Britain, where he remained until returning to Ireland, again guided by an Angel, as a missionary. Two men, both guided by a dream; Joseph’s dream protected Christ from harm so that He could go to His people, Patrick’s dream led him to find Christ for himself, before bringing Him to the people of Ireland.

We are all moved by dreams. We all have dreams. Not the kind that are illustrated with the presence of angels, and messages from the divine however. We have dreams that are the construct of hopes for future accomplishments. We have dreams of finding “the one” with whom we will spend the rest of our lives. We have dreams that the one we have found is “the one”. We have dreams of buying property, paying off those debts, driving that nice car, and living in that perfect home. We also know what its like to have dreams dashed before our eyes. That’s what makes them dreams.

What we sometimes fail to realize however is the amazing blessings that sometimes come with those dreams seemingly falling to pieces. The lessons we learn along the way help make us who we are, weather we achieve those dreams or not. I’m sure Joseph and Patrick both had dreams that were different from the ones that God gave them that were decorated with Angels, and messages of living life in flight. Joseph was a Carpenter, who in all likelihood dreamt of building a successful career out of his trade, and making a quiet peaceful home for himself and his wife Mary. I’m sure that the adventures described to us in the early days of the Gospel were not in his original plans. Likewise Patrick I am sure had dreams of his own. He was the product of an affluent family, who seemingly had no solid religious background. His father was a Catholic Deacon, but history tells us that was likely due to tax incentives and not so much religious conviction. His years of imprisonment after the Irish Raids on Britain were certainly not in his original plans, nor were his later years as a Missionary his original life goals.

The point is, sometimes the dreams that God has in mind for us are different then the ones we would have for ourselves. I have certainly seen that in my own life. The life I have now is certainly not the one of which I dreamed while growing up. When I was in High School and looking forward to graduating and moving on to Seminary I dreamt of an Ordination day in the Cathedral at 25. I dreamt about the challenges of a Celibate life, and concerns like running a large Parish, with a school, and being a part of the lives of a large Congregation of Parishioners.

God certainly did have other plans. Instead I find myself as a “working Priest” with a Parish and a secular career. My parish has no school, nor is it large, nor does it sit on an endowment. Instead we are a small community of faith, united in our belief that Jesus Christ came for all of us, and we work together everyday towards the coming of His Kingdom. I’m involved in the lives of LGBTQ youth, who everyday teach me lessons about life and love that I could never learn in a classroom. I find myself involved in things like Marriage Equality, and other forms of advocacy that will someday impact the lives of people who I will never even meet. My life is so full, so joyful, so happy, and to be honest. . . I cant imagine it any other way.

It’s certainly a lesson learned on my part. We can have as many hopes and dreams as we want, but we wont find happiness until we have God’s dream, and find the life that He is calling us to! Unlike Patrick and Joseph the odds of that dream being painted in so clear a picture as it was for them are slim. The angels of God’s dream for us comes in the form of human beings, apparent failures and disappointments, heartbreak, and trials. When we are going through these experiences they couldn’t seem anything less like a dream, but rather more like nightmares. When they have passed though, and we look back on life’s incredible journey we can smile with confidence, and know that in all of that God was there, is there, and continues to be there, even though we may not see Him.

So let’s all keep having those dreams. Let’s all keep working towards those goals, great jobs, nice cars, and fancy homes that we enjoy in the details of our imaginations. While we are trying to achieve them, God will do what He has to do to show us the way to what He has in mind, and what we will find is happiness, joy, and fulfillment beyond all telling.

The last part of the popular Serenity Prayer is the part least known by most, yet the most powerful;

“Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking a Jesus did this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.”

Ashes Are Universal

It’s almost here, once again: Lent is almost upon us. There is something about Lent that has always bore with it a negative tone. All that talk about sacrifice, penance, and conversion makes a person think, “gosh, am I really that bad?”

Maybe Lent isn’t about how “bad” we are, but about how much better we can be! Lent starts with Ash Wednesday, and good and faithful Christians throughout the world will go to Church, listen to readings that talk about how penance, sacrifice, and conversion is something that happens in the silence of our hearts and not on a street corner. Then they will have a cross traced in ashes on their forehead, and go out into the world living their daily lives…seems a bit contradictory.

Think about where the ashes come from though. Ashes are a result of a something being burned. They are the product, or the remains of a fire. God is so often represented through fire. The Holy Spirit is always shown as a Dove dispersing tongues of fire. At our Baptism, our parents are handed a lit candle, as a symbol of the light of Christ. At Christmas we see candles as a symbol of Jesus as the Light of the World that comes into the world to scatter the darkness. When these 40 days of Lent are over, we will reach Easter, and at the great Easter Vigil, the Church blesses the new fire.

So we begin the journey with ashes, and we end with fire. The ashes, the sign to the public that we have begun this journey towards Easter is a testimony not to filth and dirt, but rather the fire which produced them, the fire that we hope to have burning at full force by Easter.

Maybe the fire within us is starting to take a beating from the winds of daily life. Maybe its down to a flickering flame. Maybe the fire needs some kindle to get it roaring again, something to feed its hunger. Maybe it needs some “fresh air” as we know fire cannot burn without oxygen. Whatever the fire in your heart needs, use these 40 days of Lent to find it!

This week I also hit a landmark in my journey with Alcoholics Anonymous. If all goes according to plan, Friday will be my 90 mark. I cant help but look at my own life. These last 90 days have been spent thinking a lot about my life. After admitting that there is a problem, the journey and the work has only just begun. I’ve spent a lot of time looking inward, examining the pain that’s in there that I never really acknowledged. I’ve thought about how I took that pain and anger out in so many other ways, and on so many other targets. I thought about all the relationships of all kinds, opportunities, and potential growth that I managed to destroy by holding on so tightly to my addiction.

All however is not ashes. Just the opposite. The ashes that remain are a reminder to me of the fire I am working towards feeding. It’s encouragement to continue to coax that flickering flame so that it will burn brighter and brighter, and larger and larger. Through my life as a Priest I can only hope that flame will somehow spread into the hearts of others.

Going 90 days without a drink is like getting the ashes on your forehead. Its an external sign of what’s going on inside. It’s a physical expression of the fire that is burning stronger and stronger everyday. I feel like this year I finally figured out a little bit more of what this Lent stuff is all about. It’s not about me being that bad. I’m pretty good actually! I have a career I enjoy. I have healthy friendships with a diverse range of people, and those friendships are real. I am enjoying living life like I never have before. I am able to just roll my eyes when I see the immaturity and foolishness of people around me (rather then jumping in or leading it). I have a spiritual life that I can see growth in a little bit at a time. These are all things I didn’t have before, and if I did, I couldn’t see them.

However, Lent is an exciting time this year because I can see how much better I can be. I can see how much more I want to grow. I can see the things I want to let go of. The even more exciting part is, I am eager to see all those things God has in store that I haven’t yet seen for myself. I was chatting with someone the other day who said to me, “I’m so happy for you, you are finally getting yourself together”. Indeed I am, but Lent proves that “getting one’s self together” is not a one time event. In fact they have a word for the process; it’s “life”. The Church is good enough to give us a 40 day season to remind us all to not get comfortable where we are, or too proud - because we could be even better.

One of the ways I would always justify my drinking was by looking at the person who was way drunker then me, and take comfort in knowing that “that one has a problem”. I’m sure that many times I provided the same misleading and false comfort to someone else. The ashes we receive on Wednesday are a reminder to all of us, that the fire could burn a lot brighter inside of us. They are a reality check, that everyone of us is on this journey called “life” and we are all in the work of “getting ourselves together”. In a way none of us are further along on the journey then anyone else, that’s why those ashes are such a powerful statement - they are the same on everybody’s forehead.