The Happy Ending

This weekend I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You." The movie ended with the main Character sharing the following thoughts:

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. "

I have certainly never been one to go through life looking for "the one". I had a period where I thought I had found him. Then I went through a period where I just plain didn't want to deal with the emotional risks that come with dating. Then I finally hit a place where I am open to it. If the right guy comes along Im not going to turn it away but at the same time Im not going to try to seek him out.

Shes right though, the general image we are all given about life is that you go to College, you graduate, you start a career, you fall in love, start a family, and pass on these values to your kids. But life is not like that lovely hallmark card. Maybe you dont find the right career, maybe your single your whole life, or maybe you mess it up with your kids and they don't recieve the values you wanted them to.

I know my life to date is a strong oppossition to this basic cookie cutter picture. My family and I dont speak, I went to school to be a priest and Im a bartender instead, and Im almost 30 and no where near starting a family, or owning a home.

How do we end up under all this pressure? We look at our lives and judge them by some standard that the rest of the world set up for us. I think the key is in that last line.."Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

That doesnt mean just relationships either. It means your job, your goals, your dreams, anything really. Everything we try for in life takes time, and it takes multiple attempts. Sometimes when the bills are mounting and the money is dwindling we feel that crunch. Like we arent where we want to be in life. We are trying as hard as we can but we just arent there yet. We may never be...in fact if you think about it, maybe nobody ever is. I think maybe this woman is right. Theres something to be said for never giving up hope.