Aids Care Ocean State

Tonight is the official kick off party of Project Downcity, my annual fundraiser for Aids Care Ocean State, and my thoughts and prayers today turned to this heavy topic of HIV.

We all know about it. As gay people we especially know about it. It's not a "gay disease" by any stretch of the imagination, but its on the forefront of our minds. Your HIV status is an option to be answered on internet dating profiles. It's an issue however that we rarely think about, yet holds such a heavy cloud.

Everyone who this disease effects deals with it differently. Sadly, there are those who's positive status in no way changes the way they behave sexually, at times not even being smarter or safer. Some carry it inside as a dark burden. Some others still turn it into action, and become involved in awareness programs.

Imagine what life must be like for the person who carries this burden. If you are single when you find out, how do you deal with dating? You start to get invoved with someone, at what point should you share it with the other person? After all it's no one's buisness, except of course for sexual partners. Getting that call from the doctor changes your entire life. "I feel like Im dying inside", someone once told me after finding out that they were positive. It's not a laughing matter, its no joke, its something that is very real, and for some poeple something they have to deal with everyday of their lives.

I can only imagine how I would deal with it. Working in the public eye I think I would just make it public. Ive read articles about people who have had their positive status tattooed on their arm. I think that's how I would try to face it. I admire those who deal with this virus everyday. Those who deal with it in public, and those who harbor it and choose to deal with it in silence. I admire their strength. I feel for the diffcult decisions that come with it. I admire friends who deal with it, and their unspoken strength.

"You don't know what it's like every time you have a cough or a sneeze to think 'oh God I could be getting sick' because for you Michael, it is just a f*cking cough or sneeze." These words spoken by Ben to Michael on Queer As Folk must be so true, and so difficult to live.

To quote the Aids Care website, "AIDS Care Ocean State is dedicated to providing quality housing, case management, medical and nursing care, and prevention to adults, families, adolescents and children who are affected by or at risk for HIV infection. AIDS Care Ocean State will act as an advocate for individuals and families at risk, while providing those support services needed to ensure and maintain a high quality of life for the people we serve."

The issue of HIV is so much more then that test that we take every so many months. ACOS is an important part of our community. The work they do for prevention, education, and care for those who need it is irriplaceable. Everyday they make testing positive NOT be a death sentence. They cannot function however without our help. So stop by and join the party, as tonight at 5, we at Downcity kick off "Project Downcity."