Goodbyes

Have you ever said goodbye to a friend? We all have. There are any number of reasons why a friend leaves a fold, to return home, to move away from home, work, or just a need for change, whatever the reason is...we have all had that moment, that TV sitcom moment where we hug a friend, and realize we have no idea when we will see them again. That moment when some sappy song plays in our head as various moments and memories pass through our minds, of that person through the years as we say goodbye.

This weekend the Providence Community says goodbye to someone who has become one of our own. Ty. I think until the onset of Facebook, many people didn't even know his last name. He was simply, "Ty", and we all knew him. We all have memories with Ty, and I would wager that we could each write an entire blog filled memories of times with Ty. I personally have many such memories. Those memories range from Downtown Providence, to the Beach, Randolf Country Club, Twin River, Parties, Restaurants, and everything in between. To me he was a very special friend, who I know I will miss dearly. That's why I wanted to write a blog about him. You see, Ty is one of my best friends...and he is one of the few people in the world about whom many people can say that. For most of us, our friendships with Ty began over a cocktail, and a lot of laughs. For nearly all of us, it grew into more then that.

We all joke about each other all the time, when one of us has too much to drink. We like to point fingers at each other about someone being "a drunken mess", or what have you...well we have all been there...and one of the joys of Ty is that he is always the first person to laugh at himself, and if he laughs at you, he's usually sitting with you, and your laughing along with him. That's not because he thinks life is a joke, it's because he realizes that so much of our lives is dark, and heavy, and stressful...so let's look on the lighter side whenever we possibly can.

It is all together appropriate that the Gospel this coming weekend talks about Jesus sending the Disciples out into the world, to spread the Christian message, and further the spread of the Gospel. He instructs them to go out into the world, with no money, armed with nothing but their faith. His instructions to them are clear, "Wherever you go, enter a house, stay there until you leave. Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you, leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them."

Ty carries with him the message of Christ everywhere he goes. The message of Christ is unconditional love, and he carries nothing but love, in his smile, his kindness, his laugh, and his spirit. I don't think I've ever ordered a round of shots with him next to me, and actually paid for it, because he either A. orders first, or B. slaps his money down on the bar first. At fundraisers, and benefits we have all heard him scream, "it's for charity!!" And certainly any one of us who is a bartender in this town, cannot even begin to consider arguing his generosity.

This generosity is never limited to money. I remember sitting at my computer one Saturday afternoon, lost because of a relationship that had just fallen to pieces around me. . . and it felt like my life was in just as may pieces. Ty was online at the same time, fifteen minutes later we were walking down Snow Street, and he was listening to my every tear. He has sat by my side at Church, and joined me in prayer on Church days that he knew were important to me. When I was out of work, he set me up with shifts at his work, literally putting money in my pocket when I was counting Nickels.

You see, that is the life of Christ in the everyday real world. There are the Mother Theresas and the Pope John Pauls, and the heroes of Church history. Then there are the everyday, normal folks, who live the same message, and don't even realize they are doing it...because it's just who they are. These are the people that are the face of Jesus Christ, in our everyday life. No doubt wherever Ty goes in this world, and throughout the course of his life, he will enter peoples homes, hearts, and lives with that spirit of joy that defines his very nature, and in places where it is not welcome, he will walk away...and it will be that place's loss.

Now he leaves us...he has entered "the house of our hearts", and indeed he has stayed there as Jesus said. However he will stay with us when he leaves. Through the years Ty has been for me a very dear friend. We will all miss him, and weather you say goodbye to him at DownCity on Saturday night, or at State on Sunday pray that it is not the last hug. It certainly better not be the last cocktail!