Relationships

Relationships....TV shows, and movies make millions off of this concept. Many a night at a bar with friends is often prompted by this same concept. Books, soap operas, music, poetry, and so many other forms of media are fueled by this basic human experienece that one of us can seem to get right.

As a bartender I see it all. There are your "serial daters". Individuals who date regularly. . Every other night they are in for dinner with a different guy. Then of course you have your hook ups, one nights stands, one time dates, ex's etc etc etc. The list goes on and on. Why is it though that we can't seem to get it right!??

Thanks to websites like Facebook and Myspace we can continue to stalk former flames after they have moved along. We've all done it. We've all sat at the computer and fumed because "so and so" left a comment on "so and so"'s page. We've all been careful to not leave comments ourselves on someones page so as to not piss of someone else. We have also all LEFT comments on someones page JUST TO piss someone off.

What is it about people that gets so under our skin? In other words, why is it that our feelings for a person manage to become such a driving force in choices that we make? How is it that we allow our romantic feelings for another human being consume us so much??

There is a natural part of us, that I believe is lacking. We have a natural void within our souls which can only be filled by the companionship of a partner. Thats the longing that makes single people hate Valentines day. Its the urge that makes us turn our heads when we see a hot guy (or girl depending on your deal) walk by us in the mall. Sure there is a sexual urge as well, but it burns much deeper then that. .and we all know it. We've all had those one night stands, those drunken club nights where we wake up in someone else's bed, or someone else wakes up in ours. Or you get that EMail at just the right time on manhunt, we've all hooked up, had tricks, or been the trick. As much as we would say that those encounters were meaningless, they really werent. If they were empty and meaningless, we wouldnt stalk them on myspace, or facebook. If they had no meaning we wouldn't get mad when we see them at a bar with someone else, or get mad when our friend hooks up with them, or talks to them. The bottom line is that sex has a natural, unavoidable emotional aspect that none of us can deny. This is also why we get so upset when we sleep with someone we like, but to them we were just a hook up...it hurts, it hurts badly. Even though we may not have known this person for long, or built up a relationship with them, we still gave them a part of ourselves...and although we may not want to admit it, that part of ourselves was more then a load.

Sex aside, the question remains, why is it that we mess up all the time? Why is it that we look back at relationships, or potential relationships and have such a heavy heart? Sometimes they just came along at the wrong time. Sometimes we were stupid and let an opportunity for happiness pass us by. Of course, sometimes it just didn't work out with a person for whatever reason.

I look back at the relationships Ive been in, and I must admit...I question some of my choices. There's the one's I ended that I shouldn't have, the possibilities I let slip by, and of course the ones who broke my heart. I can't help but remember the times that I really fell for someone who didn't want anything more then one night of fun, and of course when the shoe was on the other foot, and the other person thought that one night was going to amount to more.

Will we ever find happiness?? Will we ever meet that guy who is "the one". Who knows I guess. Is there just "one"? Is it possible that we could find happiness for the long haul with more then one person? Or is ancient poetry accurate when it talks about a soul mate?

I think that being a Spiritual man, I think that God has in mind one person for all of us. There is for each and every one of us that one person that he intends for us to be with. I also think that we can still spend our lives in happiness and love with someone other then that person. I cant help but notice that in the heterosexual world it's different. Boy meets girl on a subway, in the grocery store, at a bar, whatever...they fall in love and they get married, and start a family. Sometimes its that family that keeps them together when times get tough. They start a home, and a life as a familial unit.

The gay world is different. For the most part, we only meet at a bar/club, or off a website. Our relationships do not end up permenant. We do not have the option of getting married and starting a family, so when times get tough it falls apart. We don't have the presence of the feminine influence. We are men. Men are pigs....We, are pigs. It isn't easy at all.

So we continue through life and can't help but wonder. We never know when we may meet that special person, or if we ever do at all. In the meanwhile the restraunt, and bar industry benefits from our attempts at such a relationship. Who knows I guess in then end....maybe weve already let "the one" slip away, or maybe we haven't met him yet, or maybe Im just totally wrong about this whole thing, and men and women are perfectly natured to live thier lives alone. No matter what the case, dating continues...and for centuries more poetry, television, movies, and music will continue to be influenced by the human romantic ideals. Maybe its something worth holding onto. Maybe its a concept that should not be written off so quickly. Maybe, just maybe there is someone our there for all of us, and maybe...we will find them.