It’s almost here, once again: Lent is almost upon us. There is something about Lent that has always bore with it a negative tone. All that talk about sacrifice, penance, and conversion makes a person think, “gosh, am I really that bad?”
Maybe Lent isn’t about how “bad” we are, but about how much better we can be! Lent starts with Ash Wednesday, and good and faithful Christians throughout the world will go to Church, listen to readings that talk about how penance, sacrifice, and conversion is something that happens in the silence of our hearts and not on a street corner. Then they will have a cross traced in ashes on their forehead, and go out into the world living their daily lives…seems a bit contradictory.
Think about where the ashes come from though. Ashes are a result of a something being burned. They are the product, or the remains of a fire. God is so often represented through fire. The Holy Spirit is always shown as a Dove dispersing tongues of fire. At our Baptism, our parents are handed a lit candle, as a symbol of the light of Christ. At Christmas we see candles as a symbol of Jesus as the Light of the World that comes into the world to scatter the darkness. When these 40 days of Lent are over, we will reach Easter, and at the great Easter Vigil, the Church blesses the new fire.
So we begin the journey with ashes, and we end with fire. The ashes, the sign to the public that we have begun this journey towards Easter is a testimony not to filth and dirt, but rather the fire which produced them, the fire that we hope to have burning at full force by Easter.
Maybe the fire within us is starting to take a beating from the winds of daily life. Maybe its down to a flickering flame. Maybe the fire needs some kindle to get it roaring again, something to feed its hunger. Maybe it needs some “fresh air” as we know fire cannot burn without oxygen. Whatever the fire in your heart needs, use these 40 days of Lent to find it!
This week I also hit a landmark in my journey with Alcoholics Anonymous. If all goes according to plan, Friday will be my 90 mark. I cant help but look at my own life. These last 90 days have been spent thinking a lot about my life. After admitting that there is a problem, the journey and the work has only just begun. I’ve spent a lot of time looking inward, examining the pain that’s in there that I never really acknowledged. I’ve thought about how I took that pain and anger out in so many other ways, and on so many other targets. I thought about all the relationships of all kinds, opportunities, and potential growth that I managed to destroy by holding on so tightly to my addiction.
All however is not ashes. Just the opposite. The ashes that remain are a reminder to me of the fire I am working towards feeding. It’s encouragement to continue to coax that flickering flame so that it will burn brighter and brighter, and larger and larger. Through my life as a Priest I can only hope that flame will somehow spread into the hearts of others.
Going 90 days without a drink is like getting the ashes on your forehead. Its an external sign of what’s going on inside. It’s a physical expression of the fire that is burning stronger and stronger everyday. I feel like this year I finally figured out a little bit more of what this Lent stuff is all about. It’s not about me being that bad. I’m pretty good actually! I have a career I enjoy. I have healthy friendships with a diverse range of people, and those friendships are real. I am enjoying living life like I never have before. I am able to just roll my eyes when I see the immaturity and foolishness of people around me (rather then jumping in or leading it). I have a spiritual life that I can see growth in a little bit at a time. These are all things I didn’t have before, and if I did, I couldn’t see them.
However, Lent is an exciting time this year because I can see how much better I can be. I can see how much more I want to grow. I can see the things I want to let go of. The even more exciting part is, I am eager to see all those things God has in store that I haven’t yet seen for myself. I was chatting with someone the other day who said to me, “I’m so happy for you, you are finally getting yourself together”. Indeed I am, but Lent proves that “getting one’s self together” is not a one time event. In fact they have a word for the process; it’s “life”. The Church is good enough to give us a 40 day season to remind us all to not get comfortable where we are, or too proud - because we could be even better.
One of the ways I would always justify my drinking was by looking at the person who was way drunker then me, and take comfort in knowing that “that one has a problem”. I’m sure that many times I provided the same misleading and false comfort to someone else. The ashes we receive on Wednesday are a reminder to all of us, that the fire could burn a lot brighter inside of us. They are a reality check, that everyone of us is on this journey called “life” and we are all in the work of “getting ourselves together”. In a way none of us are further along on the journey then anyone else, that’s why those ashes are such a powerful statement - they are the same on everybody’s forehead.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
My Name is David, and Im an Alcoholic
My name is David, and Im an alcoholic. As a Philosophy student and a Theologian I have spent many days and sleepless nights pondering the question, “Who am I”. Never before was the word “alcoholic” one that came leaping to mind. Never when I have been introduced anywhere, or included in my curriculum vitae has been, “Father David Martins, Alcoholic.” In recent weeks however, and now having come out of not only detox, but also rehab, I have faced the reality, that that is exactly what I am.
When I first came to terms with the fact that I am Gay, a large challenge was for me to remember that being gay was only a part of who I am, not who I am, or what I am. The same is true of my alcoholism. I suffer from a disease, the disease of addiction, but it is not all of who I am.
Over the years I can remember countless times sitting at a bar with a friend, and going drink for drink, and the next day the person would say to me, “Dave, do you think you have a problem?” I would always think, “What a hypocrite! If I had a problem, didn’t they too?
In hindsight its amazing how I defended and guarded this dirty secret of mine that I carried in my heart. I became friends with people who would readily join me in the campaign that I didn’t have a drinking problem, the other person did…they didn’t drink…that was their problem. I was always ready to point out, while belly up at a bar, how somebody else was “such a mess”. I even managed to develop a bond, made of liquor, among us faithful late night folks at the bar. Us few faithful disciples, who would even stay after the bar had closed and help clean, while earning a little shot before heading home. The reassurance we always maintained was that “at least I’m not as bad as so-and-so.”
This is how I know I am an addict, because I bought into all those comforting lies that addiction feeds us. I mastered the art of justifying my behavior. It didn’t effect my work, it didn’t effect the parish, it didn’t effect the work I was doing for Christ, so It couldn’t have been a problem. I would wind up at the end of the day sitting at a bar enjoying a “much deserved cocktail”. Was it a well deserved cocktail after a days work? Or was it really just getting back to the routine, now that I had gotten the details and responsibilities of daily life out of the way. I even remember as often as a few weeks ago that while going over my weekend budget, I was certain to make sure that Saturday night’s libations were included in my calculations, even at the risk of getting my phone shut off. After years of bartending every Saturday night, didn’t I deserve a Saturday night out on the town like everybody else?
You see these are the differences between me and everybody else, and my fellow drinkers along the way. I’m not like everyone else. I’m an alcoholic. My life had become unmanageable, because my drinking, and the resulting fog, and temperament had taken control. I suffer from a disease, a disease that has no cure, but plenty of treatment. It is only now, that I have admitted my problem, asked for help, and started to deal with it; this disease can become only a part of who I am, because until now, it was who I was, and I didn’t even realize it.
You see, I am not going to be that guy who can enjoy a glass of wine with diner, or a few beers with the guys on a Saturday night after a long week’s work. Instead I am a guy who will enjoy, I pray, a life of sobriety, because that’s what I, those who I’ve hurt, those souls entrusted to my care, and my liver, deserve. So yes, my name is David, and I’m an alcoholic. It’s time to take control of my life again, and turn it over to God so I can do his work, rather then expecting Him to pick up the pieces where I had failed. God came to a cold, lonely, broken stable in Bethlehem; this Christmas, I pray that He will find a welcome place in me, to help me rebuild this stable, and together, life can be manageable again.
When I first came to terms with the fact that I am Gay, a large challenge was for me to remember that being gay was only a part of who I am, not who I am, or what I am. The same is true of my alcoholism. I suffer from a disease, the disease of addiction, but it is not all of who I am.
Over the years I can remember countless times sitting at a bar with a friend, and going drink for drink, and the next day the person would say to me, “Dave, do you think you have a problem?” I would always think, “What a hypocrite! If I had a problem, didn’t they too?
In hindsight its amazing how I defended and guarded this dirty secret of mine that I carried in my heart. I became friends with people who would readily join me in the campaign that I didn’t have a drinking problem, the other person did…they didn’t drink…that was their problem. I was always ready to point out, while belly up at a bar, how somebody else was “such a mess”. I even managed to develop a bond, made of liquor, among us faithful late night folks at the bar. Us few faithful disciples, who would even stay after the bar had closed and help clean, while earning a little shot before heading home. The reassurance we always maintained was that “at least I’m not as bad as so-and-so.”
This is how I know I am an addict, because I bought into all those comforting lies that addiction feeds us. I mastered the art of justifying my behavior. It didn’t effect my work, it didn’t effect the parish, it didn’t effect the work I was doing for Christ, so It couldn’t have been a problem. I would wind up at the end of the day sitting at a bar enjoying a “much deserved cocktail”. Was it a well deserved cocktail after a days work? Or was it really just getting back to the routine, now that I had gotten the details and responsibilities of daily life out of the way. I even remember as often as a few weeks ago that while going over my weekend budget, I was certain to make sure that Saturday night’s libations were included in my calculations, even at the risk of getting my phone shut off. After years of bartending every Saturday night, didn’t I deserve a Saturday night out on the town like everybody else?
You see these are the differences between me and everybody else, and my fellow drinkers along the way. I’m not like everyone else. I’m an alcoholic. My life had become unmanageable, because my drinking, and the resulting fog, and temperament had taken control. I suffer from a disease, a disease that has no cure, but plenty of treatment. It is only now, that I have admitted my problem, asked for help, and started to deal with it; this disease can become only a part of who I am, because until now, it was who I was, and I didn’t even realize it.
You see, I am not going to be that guy who can enjoy a glass of wine with diner, or a few beers with the guys on a Saturday night after a long week’s work. Instead I am a guy who will enjoy, I pray, a life of sobriety, because that’s what I, those who I’ve hurt, those souls entrusted to my care, and my liver, deserve. So yes, my name is David, and I’m an alcoholic. It’s time to take control of my life again, and turn it over to God so I can do his work, rather then expecting Him to pick up the pieces where I had failed. God came to a cold, lonely, broken stable in Bethlehem; this Christmas, I pray that He will find a welcome place in me, to help me rebuild this stable, and together, life can be manageable again.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Safety from the Fires
Homily from Sunday at Saint Therese Old Catholic Church
The Readings we have heard at Mass over the last few weeks have been less then uplifting. Next weekend the Church celebrates the Solemnity if Christ the King, the last day of the Liturgical year, and the following Sunday is the First Sunday of Advent, which begins the new year in the Liturgical life of the Church. As a result these last weeks of the current year, the readings focus on the end of time, the last days. At first glance, these readings are quite unsettling, but if we look closely, they are actually full of hope.
When reading the readings of the weekend, I was reminded of a story I once heard about a man who lived with his daughter in a Canadian Prairie. Prairie fires began to spread through the region, and the man came up with a very clever idea. He started a fire of his own, burning everything in the area. When the fire was out, he took his daughter to the center of that area, and remained there, so that when the Prairie fires drew near, they would stop when they reached his location, as everything that could burn had already been burnt, making it the safest place in the region.
The Gospel today talks about “mighty signs from the sky”, earthquakes, plagues, nation rising against nation, and the list goes on. But towards the end, Jesus gives us some words of hope. “You will be hated by all because of my name, but not a hair on your head will be destroyed. By your perseverance you will secure your lives”
You see God has already burned everything that can burn, so to speak. He has already secured that safe place for us to hide from the prairie fires that burn around us. He sent His only Son to Earth, who suffered and died on the Cross so that we could have salvation. If we persevere through the challenges, and attacks of this life, we will be rewarded with eternal happiness in heaven.
The reality of it is, we don’t go through life with this mindset naturally. When the pressures and stress of everyday life is bearing down on us, we don’t say to ourselves, “well, these things are only in this life, what really matters is getting to heaven”, because the cold reality of it is, such thoughts don’t pay the bills, or fix the leaky roof, or repair the car battery, or keep the heat on, or fix the broken relationships.
Tomorrow the Church commemorates Saint Albert the Great. He was a Dominican Philosopher and Theologian, who died in the year 1280. The good Dominican that he was, he wrote extensively about the Eucharist. Of this wonderful Sacrament, he said, ”Nor could he have commanded anything which is more like eternal life. Eternal life flows from this sacrament because God with all sweetness pours himself out upon the blessed.”
Albert hit’s the nail on the head. Every Sunday we gather here as a community of faith, and come forward to receive this great Sacrament, and when we do, we find ourselves in that place of safety with our father. We are like that little girl, embraced by her father in the safest place possible, where the fires cannot burn any closer because everything has already burnt that can burn. We get a taste of eternal life, as we receive the Body and Blood of the Lord hidden in the form of bread and wine.
This great Sacrament may not put out the fires, it may not pay the bills, or fix all our problems, but what it DOES do, is give us the grace that we need to face the fires of everyday life. You see when we receive the Eucharist, we become active participants in what Theologians have called, “the Christ Event”. We stand at the crib in Bethlehem, we stand at the foot of the Cross at Calvary, and we stand before His throne in Heaven.
My dear friends as these last weeks of Ordinary time pass by, I would invite you to treasure this precious moment of safety with our Father. When we receive this Eucharist today, let’s take a moment to bask in the reality of the situation. When we leave here today, we return to the real world, where the Providence Place Mall would tell us that Christmas is already upon us, and the headaches and heartaches of life taunt us regularly. This week when the real world pushes down on us, let’s all commit to return to this moment of safety with our Father, so we can rely on the grace we receive today, then we can stand proudly and really believe that these fires will not harm us, because everything that can be burnt has been burnt already
God Bless You!
The Readings we have heard at Mass over the last few weeks have been less then uplifting. Next weekend the Church celebrates the Solemnity if Christ the King, the last day of the Liturgical year, and the following Sunday is the First Sunday of Advent, which begins the new year in the Liturgical life of the Church. As a result these last weeks of the current year, the readings focus on the end of time, the last days. At first glance, these readings are quite unsettling, but if we look closely, they are actually full of hope.
When reading the readings of the weekend, I was reminded of a story I once heard about a man who lived with his daughter in a Canadian Prairie. Prairie fires began to spread through the region, and the man came up with a very clever idea. He started a fire of his own, burning everything in the area. When the fire was out, he took his daughter to the center of that area, and remained there, so that when the Prairie fires drew near, they would stop when they reached his location, as everything that could burn had already been burnt, making it the safest place in the region.
The Gospel today talks about “mighty signs from the sky”, earthquakes, plagues, nation rising against nation, and the list goes on. But towards the end, Jesus gives us some words of hope. “You will be hated by all because of my name, but not a hair on your head will be destroyed. By your perseverance you will secure your lives”
You see God has already burned everything that can burn, so to speak. He has already secured that safe place for us to hide from the prairie fires that burn around us. He sent His only Son to Earth, who suffered and died on the Cross so that we could have salvation. If we persevere through the challenges, and attacks of this life, we will be rewarded with eternal happiness in heaven.
The reality of it is, we don’t go through life with this mindset naturally. When the pressures and stress of everyday life is bearing down on us, we don’t say to ourselves, “well, these things are only in this life, what really matters is getting to heaven”, because the cold reality of it is, such thoughts don’t pay the bills, or fix the leaky roof, or repair the car battery, or keep the heat on, or fix the broken relationships.
Tomorrow the Church commemorates Saint Albert the Great. He was a Dominican Philosopher and Theologian, who died in the year 1280. The good Dominican that he was, he wrote extensively about the Eucharist. Of this wonderful Sacrament, he said, ”Nor could he have commanded anything which is more like eternal life. Eternal life flows from this sacrament because God with all sweetness pours himself out upon the blessed.”
Albert hit’s the nail on the head. Every Sunday we gather here as a community of faith, and come forward to receive this great Sacrament, and when we do, we find ourselves in that place of safety with our father. We are like that little girl, embraced by her father in the safest place possible, where the fires cannot burn any closer because everything has already burnt that can burn. We get a taste of eternal life, as we receive the Body and Blood of the Lord hidden in the form of bread and wine.
This great Sacrament may not put out the fires, it may not pay the bills, or fix all our problems, but what it DOES do, is give us the grace that we need to face the fires of everyday life. You see when we receive the Eucharist, we become active participants in what Theologians have called, “the Christ Event”. We stand at the crib in Bethlehem, we stand at the foot of the Cross at Calvary, and we stand before His throne in Heaven.
My dear friends as these last weeks of Ordinary time pass by, I would invite you to treasure this precious moment of safety with our Father. When we receive this Eucharist today, let’s take a moment to bask in the reality of the situation. When we leave here today, we return to the real world, where the Providence Place Mall would tell us that Christmas is already upon us, and the headaches and heartaches of life taunt us regularly. This week when the real world pushes down on us, let’s all commit to return to this moment of safety with our Father, so we can rely on the grace we receive today, then we can stand proudly and really believe that these fires will not harm us, because everything that can be burnt has been burnt already
God Bless You!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Homily from Saint Therese' Parish First Mass
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
The beauty of the innocence of children is always inspiring. After I read this story, I found myself thinking back to my own days as a child. I remember the days before worrying about my rent, the bills, the car, relationships, a career, and all the other realities the world brings with it. That’s why in our Opening Prayer of today’s Mass we heard the words; “God our Father, you have promised your kingdom to those who will become like little children.” You see a little child does not understand hate, or fear. A little child does not cast judgments, or subscribe to stereotypes. A little child only sees the love that is in the world around them. It’s when they enter the real world that they discover the harshness that everyday life throws at us.
Our Parish Patroness Saint Therese understood this, despite her own difficult childhood. By the age of 13 she had lost three mothers, endured the scorn and contempt of her classmates, and had faced a horrible Kidney Infection, that nearly claimed her life. It was at Midnight Mass at Christmas that year, that she discovered the answer to so many of her problems. She realized that the child that was born on that holy night, had come into this world to personally bring her, salvation. Motivated only by love, God was made man, to walk among us, endure our hardships, be tortured and killed so that she could have salvation. Therese fell in love. She fell in love with this Jesus, and in her life as a nun, she never left the confines of her convent, but lived a life she called “her little way”. When she died at the age of only 23, she knew that she had made a difference in that convent, in the lives of those nuns, and indeed in the larger Church, because despite all the challenges she faced, she relied simply on love, the love that she shared with Christ. As a result, those challenges became bearable, because all those challenges were taken on in view of that love.
As Independent Catholics, Therese would have felt comfortable among our numbers. We are a community of believers who have faced challenges, we have felt the scorn and contempt of others, we have all been rejected somewhere by someone. We strive everyday in an uncertain world, and we have gathered today, in this space, to stand up and commit ourselves to living that same “little way” as Therese did. We gather to love our God and neighbor regardless of who that neighbor is. Regardless of sexual orientation, or who’s been divorced, or age, or gender. We come together to love with the hearts of little children, who do not judge, discriminate, or subscribe to stereotypes. Rather we gather like those two young brothers from our story. They may have been mischievous, but they stood by one another in thick and in thin, and learned life’s lessons together, in childlike love.
As we gather today to celebrate our first Mass as a Parish community, you can be assured of my commitment to you as your Pastor. My role is to bring the Sacraments, and celebrate with you, and nourish your relationship with Christ, never to judge it. Our numbers will start small, but as we grow in that relationship, the world we live in will see it, and is through the testimony of our lives that we will grow. We will never be a large Cathedral, but what we will be is real, with an honest and true commitment to the God who made us. Despite our many differences, we are all alike, we are all persons engaged in a childlike relationship with God, the rest of the details of life, are just that, details.
My dear friends, as we grow in this journey together, it is my earnest prayer that when we are asked, “Where is God”, we can answer with confidence in the words of the famous children’s Church song. He is “down, down, down, down in my heart, to stay”.
God Bless You.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
The beauty of the innocence of children is always inspiring. After I read this story, I found myself thinking back to my own days as a child. I remember the days before worrying about my rent, the bills, the car, relationships, a career, and all the other realities the world brings with it. That’s why in our Opening Prayer of today’s Mass we heard the words; “God our Father, you have promised your kingdom to those who will become like little children.” You see a little child does not understand hate, or fear. A little child does not cast judgments, or subscribe to stereotypes. A little child only sees the love that is in the world around them. It’s when they enter the real world that they discover the harshness that everyday life throws at us.
Our Parish Patroness Saint Therese understood this, despite her own difficult childhood. By the age of 13 she had lost three mothers, endured the scorn and contempt of her classmates, and had faced a horrible Kidney Infection, that nearly claimed her life. It was at Midnight Mass at Christmas that year, that she discovered the answer to so many of her problems. She realized that the child that was born on that holy night, had come into this world to personally bring her, salvation. Motivated only by love, God was made man, to walk among us, endure our hardships, be tortured and killed so that she could have salvation. Therese fell in love. She fell in love with this Jesus, and in her life as a nun, she never left the confines of her convent, but lived a life she called “her little way”. When she died at the age of only 23, she knew that she had made a difference in that convent, in the lives of those nuns, and indeed in the larger Church, because despite all the challenges she faced, she relied simply on love, the love that she shared with Christ. As a result, those challenges became bearable, because all those challenges were taken on in view of that love.
As Independent Catholics, Therese would have felt comfortable among our numbers. We are a community of believers who have faced challenges, we have felt the scorn and contempt of others, we have all been rejected somewhere by someone. We strive everyday in an uncertain world, and we have gathered today, in this space, to stand up and commit ourselves to living that same “little way” as Therese did. We gather to love our God and neighbor regardless of who that neighbor is. Regardless of sexual orientation, or who’s been divorced, or age, or gender. We come together to love with the hearts of little children, who do not judge, discriminate, or subscribe to stereotypes. Rather we gather like those two young brothers from our story. They may have been mischievous, but they stood by one another in thick and in thin, and learned life’s lessons together, in childlike love.
As we gather today to celebrate our first Mass as a Parish community, you can be assured of my commitment to you as your Pastor. My role is to bring the Sacraments, and celebrate with you, and nourish your relationship with Christ, never to judge it. Our numbers will start small, but as we grow in that relationship, the world we live in will see it, and is through the testimony of our lives that we will grow. We will never be a large Cathedral, but what we will be is real, with an honest and true commitment to the God who made us. Despite our many differences, we are all alike, we are all persons engaged in a childlike relationship with God, the rest of the details of life, are just that, details.
My dear friends, as we grow in this journey together, it is my earnest prayer that when we are asked, “Where is God”, we can answer with confidence in the words of the famous children’s Church song. He is “down, down, down, down in my heart, to stay”.
God Bless You.
Friday, October 29, 2010
It’s Halloween again. My how it seems to come so quickly. Last year on Halloween, in this blog, I said of the big day;
“Every club, across America, on different nights throws Halloween parties, "Costume Balls", "Monster Mashes" , whatever you want to call it. It's a time when children go from door to door, dressed as their favorite superhero, collecting candy and other treats. Its a time when adults have the freedom to act like children, and get all dressed up in costumes and go to parties. It's a time when girls can dress like whores and nobody can say anything about it, and when men can dress like women and nobody bats an eye.
What is it about Halloween that makes so many people get so much "in the spirit". Even I - who publicly hates Halloween, when the night comes and I am in a costume, and slingin drinks behind the bar - I somehow end up "getting into it".
It certainly provides a nice distraction from our everyday life. We can forget our worries, our fears, our stresses, and enjoy a night of pretty much mindless fun with our friends. It's an opportunity we don't often have in our everyday lives, to let loose without concern, and make fools of ourselves. On the deeper level we re-connect with the child in all of us. We return to the days when we didn't care what other people thought of us. We re-gain a certain amount of innocence because we let go of our pride, and return to the days when life was simple.”
I really think that it’s true. We enjoy reverting for that one night to those old days when life was simple. When we didn’t have bills to worry about, or careers, or relationships, or rents or mortgages. The big worry was scoring the best candy, and what a friend thought about our costume. And don’t we deserve it? The reality of it is life is complicated. It’s VERY complicated. We burn ourselves out, if we aren’t careful, and we need that moment away.
It is all together appropriate that the Gospel on Halloween is the story of Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus was a tax collector, which in Bible times meant big time sinner. They were believed to have been men who stole from the tax payers, and were vapid of any values. Jesus was preaching in his town, so Zacchaeus climbed a tree and hid up there to watch Jesus pass by. When Jesus saw him, he called him down from the tree, and told him he needed a place to stay. The people all started talking “Jesus is staying with a sinner, with a tax collector”.
It fits in well with the Halloween message. Zacchaeus wanted to see Jesus, but he felt he couldn’t because of who he was. Halloween is a day when we all get to be someone else, and no one judges us. In a way, in the Christian life, we don’t need Halloween, because everyday of our lives, we can be who we really are - and Jesus doesn’t judge us. Maybe that’s part of the stress of our everyday lives. Because among all the bills, the relationships, the stress, etc - we are also constantly trying to purport some kind of image. It’s human nature. We spend our time trying to show the world that we are more then what we are, because we have goals of what we want to be, but we haven’t reached them yet. And we have flaws that we don’t want the world to see, so we hide them. We have stress that we want everyone to think we can handle, even when we can’t. Zacchaeus understood that, that’s why he hid in the tree. He knew that society thought certain things about him, weather they were true or not. He knew that he would be judged by the crowd if he stood among them to see Jesus, but Jesus Himself pulled him down from the tree, and in fact had dinner with him that very night. Zacchaeus was able to return to that childlike mentality, that the things of his current worldly life didn’t matter, he wanted to see Jesus, and he was granted that desire.
Every year on Halloween we wear costumes, we wear outfits that we know we would be mocked for wearing any other night of the year, and we say “Whatever, it’s Halloween.” The story of Zacchaeus teaches us that its ok for us to have that attitude all year round, because Jesus loves the REAL us. My father once said, “Hey, love it or shove it”. That’s a very true statement. We are who we are. We are who God made us, and we can never truly grow, we will never really achieve our goals, and our hopes and dreams, unless we present the real us. On Halloween we present a fake outer image, so that we can be our true inward selves. Maybe the rest of the year we can try to be our real inward selves more often, and forget the stress and nonsense of daily life. God, and the people who love us, love us for the real “us”, not the image we project. Its ironic that on Halloween, the external becomes just that, an external, and the internal becomes more honest then ever. Because the real internal “us”, is adults who suffer from the adult world, and long for the days of innocence, stress free living, and when life was much simpler.
“Every club, across America, on different nights throws Halloween parties, "Costume Balls", "Monster Mashes" , whatever you want to call it. It's a time when children go from door to door, dressed as their favorite superhero, collecting candy and other treats. Its a time when adults have the freedom to act like children, and get all dressed up in costumes and go to parties. It's a time when girls can dress like whores and nobody can say anything about it, and when men can dress like women and nobody bats an eye.
What is it about Halloween that makes so many people get so much "in the spirit". Even I - who publicly hates Halloween, when the night comes and I am in a costume, and slingin drinks behind the bar - I somehow end up "getting into it".
It certainly provides a nice distraction from our everyday life. We can forget our worries, our fears, our stresses, and enjoy a night of pretty much mindless fun with our friends. It's an opportunity we don't often have in our everyday lives, to let loose without concern, and make fools of ourselves. On the deeper level we re-connect with the child in all of us. We return to the days when we didn't care what other people thought of us. We re-gain a certain amount of innocence because we let go of our pride, and return to the days when life was simple.”
I really think that it’s true. We enjoy reverting for that one night to those old days when life was simple. When we didn’t have bills to worry about, or careers, or relationships, or rents or mortgages. The big worry was scoring the best candy, and what a friend thought about our costume. And don’t we deserve it? The reality of it is life is complicated. It’s VERY complicated. We burn ourselves out, if we aren’t careful, and we need that moment away.
It is all together appropriate that the Gospel on Halloween is the story of Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus was a tax collector, which in Bible times meant big time sinner. They were believed to have been men who stole from the tax payers, and were vapid of any values. Jesus was preaching in his town, so Zacchaeus climbed a tree and hid up there to watch Jesus pass by. When Jesus saw him, he called him down from the tree, and told him he needed a place to stay. The people all started talking “Jesus is staying with a sinner, with a tax collector”.
It fits in well with the Halloween message. Zacchaeus wanted to see Jesus, but he felt he couldn’t because of who he was. Halloween is a day when we all get to be someone else, and no one judges us. In a way, in the Christian life, we don’t need Halloween, because everyday of our lives, we can be who we really are - and Jesus doesn’t judge us. Maybe that’s part of the stress of our everyday lives. Because among all the bills, the relationships, the stress, etc - we are also constantly trying to purport some kind of image. It’s human nature. We spend our time trying to show the world that we are more then what we are, because we have goals of what we want to be, but we haven’t reached them yet. And we have flaws that we don’t want the world to see, so we hide them. We have stress that we want everyone to think we can handle, even when we can’t. Zacchaeus understood that, that’s why he hid in the tree. He knew that society thought certain things about him, weather they were true or not. He knew that he would be judged by the crowd if he stood among them to see Jesus, but Jesus Himself pulled him down from the tree, and in fact had dinner with him that very night. Zacchaeus was able to return to that childlike mentality, that the things of his current worldly life didn’t matter, he wanted to see Jesus, and he was granted that desire.
Every year on Halloween we wear costumes, we wear outfits that we know we would be mocked for wearing any other night of the year, and we say “Whatever, it’s Halloween.” The story of Zacchaeus teaches us that its ok for us to have that attitude all year round, because Jesus loves the REAL us. My father once said, “Hey, love it or shove it”. That’s a very true statement. We are who we are. We are who God made us, and we can never truly grow, we will never really achieve our goals, and our hopes and dreams, unless we present the real us. On Halloween we present a fake outer image, so that we can be our true inward selves. Maybe the rest of the year we can try to be our real inward selves more often, and forget the stress and nonsense of daily life. God, and the people who love us, love us for the real “us”, not the image we project. Its ironic that on Halloween, the external becomes just that, an external, and the internal becomes more honest then ever. Because the real internal “us”, is adults who suffer from the adult world, and long for the days of innocence, stress free living, and when life was much simpler.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Called to Love
The inspiration for my thoughts today comes from a most surprising source. Well, surprising to those of you who are faithful readers of this Blog. Bishop Tobin, in his weekly column in the “Rhode Island Catholic” produced a point that I found very intriguing, honest, and sincere on the issue of Homosexuality. He received a letter from a gentleman in the Diocese who recently learned that his grandson is gay. In his critique to the Bishop he argued;
“Many men and women could not find themselves in love with a person of the same sex unless God made them that way. What is very serious is the attitude of disapproval and even violence that is often extended to gays. We are called to love everyone and not to be judgmental. When Church leaders speak out, it gives silent permission to others not to love gays.”
As the Bishop continued in his thoughts on the matter he said this;
“But the letter I received points to a broader dilemma for the Church, a dilemma the Church faces just about everyday as she navigates her way through the trials and turmoil of the contemporary world. The question is this: How does the Church preach the truth of the Gospel without harming or alienating people whose lives are touched by those issues?”
You see I would agree that the Church has a mission to preach the Gospel. Some of the manifestations of that message, undoubtedly get fogged, and misinterpreted as it passes through the filter of humanity, but the mission is there none the less.
I would never imagine Bishop Tobin to stand in a pulpit and support Gay Marriage, for example. As the Shepherd of the Roman Catholic Community in RI, he is called by God to not do such a thing. Similarly, I would never expect MY Bishop to stand in a pulpit and preach AGAINST it. I think that once we decide that we subscribe to a certain theology, then we subscribe to all of it, not just the parts that we find comfortable. Which is why we are always careful not to judge others, because how many of us really and truly at every moment of everyday , live the life we subscribe to perfectly. We certainly try, but it doesn’t always happen.
It has been implied in the past from a good number of more then one individual, that I use my blog to promote Independent Catholicism, and take people from Roman Catholic Pews. That could not be further from the truth. What I hope is that readers will stop and think about their own lives. You see I think that so often we get so wrapped up in our own lives, and our own issues we forget about the bigger picture.
Election Season is a prime example of that. Many people vote soley based on one issue. There are gays who only vote based on that issue, there are Conservative Catholics who vote based soley on the Abortion issue. Its so easy to sometimes campaign against something that we feel strongly about, but there are so many other issues out there to think about. With so many issues floating around out there, its nearly impossible sometimes to find a candidate that we agree 100 percent on with everything they say.
So to Bishop Tobin, I say kudos for acknowledging a very realistic thing that faces the Roman Church today. Indeed it faces any major organized Religion that subscribes to Christianity. Just as it is a challenge for Bishop Tobin to speak out as he is called to, without alienating anyone, so too it is difficult in other faiths. The Independent Catholic movement is very faithful in it’s commitment to same sex couples having the same rights as any other couple, yet that doesn’t give me the right to speak in anger against the Roman Church. I know that I have in the past, but I don’t have the right to do so. All of us who are involved in any form of Christian Ministry are called to stand up for what we believe, without apology. . . However, that doesn’t give us the right to attack one another, otherwise we become as petty as the many quote we see on the front page of the paper, as people bash one another in the political campaigns.
Let’s take Bishop Tobin’s advise, and be strong in what we believe, let’s live every part of it everyday, realizing that we don’t need to attack those who stand on the other side of the fence, because the primary mission of Christianity is to love, and to love all. We don’t have to agree, but we are called to love.
God Bless You
“Many men and women could not find themselves in love with a person of the same sex unless God made them that way. What is very serious is the attitude of disapproval and even violence that is often extended to gays. We are called to love everyone and not to be judgmental. When Church leaders speak out, it gives silent permission to others not to love gays.”
As the Bishop continued in his thoughts on the matter he said this;
“But the letter I received points to a broader dilemma for the Church, a dilemma the Church faces just about everyday as she navigates her way through the trials and turmoil of the contemporary world. The question is this: How does the Church preach the truth of the Gospel without harming or alienating people whose lives are touched by those issues?”
You see I would agree that the Church has a mission to preach the Gospel. Some of the manifestations of that message, undoubtedly get fogged, and misinterpreted as it passes through the filter of humanity, but the mission is there none the less.
I would never imagine Bishop Tobin to stand in a pulpit and support Gay Marriage, for example. As the Shepherd of the Roman Catholic Community in RI, he is called by God to not do such a thing. Similarly, I would never expect MY Bishop to stand in a pulpit and preach AGAINST it. I think that once we decide that we subscribe to a certain theology, then we subscribe to all of it, not just the parts that we find comfortable. Which is why we are always careful not to judge others, because how many of us really and truly at every moment of everyday , live the life we subscribe to perfectly. We certainly try, but it doesn’t always happen.
It has been implied in the past from a good number of more then one individual, that I use my blog to promote Independent Catholicism, and take people from Roman Catholic Pews. That could not be further from the truth. What I hope is that readers will stop and think about their own lives. You see I think that so often we get so wrapped up in our own lives, and our own issues we forget about the bigger picture.
Election Season is a prime example of that. Many people vote soley based on one issue. There are gays who only vote based on that issue, there are Conservative Catholics who vote based soley on the Abortion issue. Its so easy to sometimes campaign against something that we feel strongly about, but there are so many other issues out there to think about. With so many issues floating around out there, its nearly impossible sometimes to find a candidate that we agree 100 percent on with everything they say.
So to Bishop Tobin, I say kudos for acknowledging a very realistic thing that faces the Roman Church today. Indeed it faces any major organized Religion that subscribes to Christianity. Just as it is a challenge for Bishop Tobin to speak out as he is called to, without alienating anyone, so too it is difficult in other faiths. The Independent Catholic movement is very faithful in it’s commitment to same sex couples having the same rights as any other couple, yet that doesn’t give me the right to speak in anger against the Roman Church. I know that I have in the past, but I don’t have the right to do so. All of us who are involved in any form of Christian Ministry are called to stand up for what we believe, without apology. . . However, that doesn’t give us the right to attack one another, otherwise we become as petty as the many quote we see on the front page of the paper, as people bash one another in the political campaigns.
Let’s take Bishop Tobin’s advise, and be strong in what we believe, let’s live every part of it everyday, realizing that we don’t need to attack those who stand on the other side of the fence, because the primary mission of Christianity is to love, and to love all. We don’t have to agree, but we are called to love.
God Bless You
Monday, October 4, 2010
Birthdays and Old Friends
This weekend I had the pleasure of celebrating two Birthdays, of two very special friends. Two individuals who have both opened not only their hearts, but their very families to me along the way in life.
The readings of today’s Mass, on this Feast of Saint Francis of Assisi, contain the story of the Good Samaritan. This story is not strange to any of us, I’m sure we all know the story of the man left beaten by robbers on the side of the road, and everyone ignores him, thinking that it is someone else’s problem. We also hear the lesson of Jesus, to “love your neighbor as yourself”.
This message of Jesus rang through so clearly in these last few days. In addition to these two celebrations, yesterday I also had the opportunity to re-connect with an old friend, who I had thought I had lost, due to my own stupidity. In all three of these people, I can think of no better example of the message that Jesus preaches then them.
You see, to be Christ to others doesn’t take much. It’s just about being a good person. All three of the individuals I mentioned above, have at one point or another laid down their own crosses, to help me carry mine. At some point in my life they have all died to themselves, so that they could be there for me. I have been very blessed in my life, with good friends, and plenty of shoulders to cry on whenever I needed one.
When I have been in financial crisis these individuals have been there to pull me out of the gutter, and take me out for an evening on the town, so I could get away from my problems, even for one night. When I have faced difficulties in life that no one else could understand they were always there. We have celebrated Birthdays, Holidays, and special occasions together, and cried together when life has thrown us curve balls. This is what Jesus meant.
My thought process cant help but turn to those who are not so fortunate. Like all the many GBLT teenagers have taken their own lives due to the harassment they have endured at the hands of others. These are people who have become so desperate in life, and have lacked that support, that they became hopeless, and threw in the towel.
You see we are called by Jesus in today’s Gospel, to “love your neighbor”. As Jesus goes on to make clear we are called to love all of our neighbors. The recent events in the news are a wake up call, that we never know how our actions may effect someone.
It can easily be said that the kids in NJ who broadcasted the intimate experience of his gay roommate on the Internet did not know what would happen. It can easily be said that he didn’t know that his young friend would take his own life on the GW Bridge. That’s exactly the point.
Let’s all try to be a better neighbor to one another. Let’s be conscious of what we say and do to others. Just like our actions, which seem like no big deal can make a positive effect in the life of someone else, the opposite can happen just as easily. That’s how we can contribute to fixing the situation that faces the world today in the loss of such young life. . . Love your neighbor. In this world there is plenty of hurt, and stress, and anger. . . Let’s be radicals, and contribute to the love.
The readings of today’s Mass, on this Feast of Saint Francis of Assisi, contain the story of the Good Samaritan. This story is not strange to any of us, I’m sure we all know the story of the man left beaten by robbers on the side of the road, and everyone ignores him, thinking that it is someone else’s problem. We also hear the lesson of Jesus, to “love your neighbor as yourself”.
This message of Jesus rang through so clearly in these last few days. In addition to these two celebrations, yesterday I also had the opportunity to re-connect with an old friend, who I had thought I had lost, due to my own stupidity. In all three of these people, I can think of no better example of the message that Jesus preaches then them.
You see, to be Christ to others doesn’t take much. It’s just about being a good person. All three of the individuals I mentioned above, have at one point or another laid down their own crosses, to help me carry mine. At some point in my life they have all died to themselves, so that they could be there for me. I have been very blessed in my life, with good friends, and plenty of shoulders to cry on whenever I needed one.
When I have been in financial crisis these individuals have been there to pull me out of the gutter, and take me out for an evening on the town, so I could get away from my problems, even for one night. When I have faced difficulties in life that no one else could understand they were always there. We have celebrated Birthdays, Holidays, and special occasions together, and cried together when life has thrown us curve balls. This is what Jesus meant.
My thought process cant help but turn to those who are not so fortunate. Like all the many GBLT teenagers have taken their own lives due to the harassment they have endured at the hands of others. These are people who have become so desperate in life, and have lacked that support, that they became hopeless, and threw in the towel.
You see we are called by Jesus in today’s Gospel, to “love your neighbor”. As Jesus goes on to make clear we are called to love all of our neighbors. The recent events in the news are a wake up call, that we never know how our actions may effect someone.
It can easily be said that the kids in NJ who broadcasted the intimate experience of his gay roommate on the Internet did not know what would happen. It can easily be said that he didn’t know that his young friend would take his own life on the GW Bridge. That’s exactly the point.
Let’s all try to be a better neighbor to one another. Let’s be conscious of what we say and do to others. Just like our actions, which seem like no big deal can make a positive effect in the life of someone else, the opposite can happen just as easily. That’s how we can contribute to fixing the situation that faces the world today in the loss of such young life. . . Love your neighbor. In this world there is plenty of hurt, and stress, and anger. . . Let’s be radicals, and contribute to the love.
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