Who Was There

One of my not so secret passions is Teen Dramas on Television...embarrassing I know. One of which is the old Beverly Hills 90210 series. Today while I was watching the old re-runs, the episode they aired was the Graduation episode. The big drama of the show was the usual in Teen Drama - who showed up for graduation day and who didn't. The teens whose parents were on their third and fourth marriage, and the birth parents both came anyways. The ones who were worried til graduation day itself if they were even going to walk with their class. As the episode went on, they continued to show flashbacks to the different major events in the young people's lives.

As I watched I thought back in my own life. My High School graduation, and College graduation. The most significant for me was College, I couldn't believe I had actually made it! I had survived four years of intense life in Seminary formation, and had managed to complete all the qualifications that the College had held. Things were going according to schedule, and in four years I'd be a priest.

Of course that's not how things turned out. But I remember how much it meant to me to see certain people at these events. My mind then began to wander to my Diaconate Ordination...and event I had not yet processed. There is a part of the ceremony when the candidate for Ordination lays prostrate on the floor. During this moment the Bishop all present pray that the Holy Spirit descend from the Heavens and touch the soul of the Candidate that is to be Ordained. It was always emotional for me at others Ordinations to watch, but as my hands hit the floor it boomed in my head and in my heart "Holy Shit, this is it". My life would forever be changed. I would be clergy - forever.

In my mind passed the many faces of the people who couldn't be there. I thought of my parents, who first taught me the faith, and who since we have fallen on rocky grounds. I thought of my friends from seminary, some of whom I remain in close touch, and others I don't. I thought of the priests who handled my formation, and all the friends - and enemies - who had brought me to that day. I thought about the Parish here in Providence, and all our beloved Parishioners, the Little Brothers, who were present, and in many ways have become a new family to me. I really realized that it's true what they say about things happening in God's time, and not our own.

I think if I had stayed in Seminary, and been Ordained "on schedule" I would not be half the priest that I hope I will be. I would not have had the life experience of so many things. Like knowing what it's like to pay my rent, and knowing how it feels when it's the 6th of the month and I'm avoiding my landlord because I haven't paid it yet. Or like going to make a phone call and realizing my phone's been shut off. Most of all, I would never have known the God awful feeling of being dumped, or that hollowness that we feel inside when we have parted ways with a lover. The friendships and relationships that I have made/had in years between leaving seminary and now have made me who I am, and made me the man who laid on the floor before the Bishop on November 21st.

So who was there that day? Everybody was. Although it was out in Baltimore, and the reality was that people couldn't just shoot down for the weekend's events, everyone was there. Everyone who led me in their own way to that fateful day. Everyone for whom I am thankful to God always for dropping them in my life, each in their own unique ways.