Our Highest Aspirations

From my "Pastor's Desk" Column on the Parish Website.

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Today in Holyoke, Massachusetts history was made as Alex Morse was sworn in as the youngest mayor the city has ever elected. I haven’t followed his campaign very closely, since its outcome doesn’t really affect me in any way, but I, like many, was fascinated by the idea of a 22 year old man running for such a position.

In his remarks at the Inauguration today he said, “We have all heard those who say that Holyoke’s best days are long past. We have heard that Holyoke’s best bet is for us to just settle, and to resign ourselves to a future that is beneath our highest aspirations.” He goes on to talk about how for the citizens of Holyoke, today is a new day. His youth filled zeal is inspiring as he speaks of his hope for so many brighter tomorrows for his fellow citizens.

What a wonderful thought as we move into this New Year. I think that many of us have at times in our lives found ourselves of the same mindset that Mayor Morse describes in his word above. We have all reached points along the way where we may feel that our best days have passed, or that it is now time to settle for where we are, and that our dreams are a bit too farfetched. What a travesty! Such a thought could not be further from the truth!

In the last week the New Years Spirit has been strong. Thanks to Social Media like Facebook and Twitter, it seems stronger than ever. We can click online at anytime and see the posts about diets, quitting smoking, and drinking less. At the gym there is a noticeable increase in activity, at AA there has been an influx of people…it would seem that everywhere we look people are working on bettering themselves, everyone is working on reaching goals, on finding that future of our highest aspirations.

You see my friends in all of this self improvement that we find ourselves doing; at the end of the day we are working on the same goal – to improve the self. For all of us, the “self” is different. We all have different vices, we all have different ways that we want to improve, and we all have different pictures of what that “highest aspiration” looks like.

At Christmas we celebrated the birth of Our Lord, who came to us; as we are, who we are, and where we are. I spoke at the Christmas Masses about who we are is something sacred, because God Himself has been made one of us. All of those things are very true, but it would be a shame for us to think that we cannot grow. These events all took place in the humility of the Stable, among a diverse cast of characters. However, the encounter with Jesus in the Stable affected everyone present;

The Shepherds return to their homeland glorifying God, and telling everyone they meet of this wondrous news that has forever changed the world. The Kings make their way to Bethlehem asking questions, following a Star and their faith. They leave Bethlehem with solid answers, and even return home via a different route to avoid Herod, and not fall into his ploy. Joseph is strengthened in his faith, and through it all Mary “keeps all these things, and reflects on them in her heart.”(LK 2:19)

Jesus comes to each of them “as they are”…and that encounter inspires them to do even better. It inspires them to do things like ponder the Lord, trust in Him, tell others about Him, and protect Him from those who would otherwise seek to harm Him. The Shepherds are still Shepherds, and the Magi are still Magi, but they leave Bethlehem looking at life, and living life, through a new lens. They realize that the best days are not those that have passed, and that to “just settle” simply will not work. They have experienced Emmanuel, God with us, and as a result their highest aspirations are actually attainable.

May all of our New Year’s Resolutions be directed ultimately towards reaching our highest aspirations. May God in His goodness continue to bless us, encourage us, and strengthen us as we continue in our own journeys to be the best we can be; because God has given us everything we need to each our highest aspirations.

God Bless You!

See you at Church!

Fr. Dave

Seabiscuit

~ My "From The Pastor's Desk" Column on the Parish Website~

On this day in 1938 a historic race was won by a horse named Seabiscuit. Seabiscuit did not start out with a very promising future as a racing horse. He was undersized, “knobby-kneed” and lazy. Even when it was discovered that this poor creature had a hopeful future as a racing horse, he still wasn’t given much of a chance, and couldn’t be sold for a respectable amount of money. In 1938, on November 1 Seabiscuit earned the title and acclaim he had acquired in his defeat of “War Admiral” who was at the top of the “Horse Racing World”, till that point.

How appropriate that this all unfold on the Solemnity of All Saints. Today’s feast is a beacon of hope for all us underdogs out there. The Saints are made up of men and women who history never expected much from at the beginning, and history would end up gravely mistaken. The Apostles are a prime example. They were 12 uneducated, simple fishermen; who all but one gave their lives for the Church in martyrdom. Therese, our patroness, who died at 23 years old of Tuberculosis in her small convent of Carmel; no one knew, when they went to read her diaries that they would one day be published, and earn her the title of ‘Doctor of the Church”. There were Saints like Francis of Assisi and Augustine, who for the early part of their lives never thought twice about God, His Church, or even living good and respectable lives. Both men went on to found Religious Orders, and now are two of the most renowned names in Church History.

Look at the Saints we all know in our lives. The grandparents, parents, aunt, uncles, friends and neighbors who have gone home to the Lord and their eternal reward; how many of them were such underdogs as well? Perhaps immigrants from other countries who were forced to assimilate into a culture they knew nothing about in order to get work, and provide for their family. Perhaps they were single parents, who due to any number of reasons were left raising a child alone in an economy where even a 2 parent household is struggling. Perhaps they passed seemingly to the rest of the world without making a single wave…but we know that to be different, because they affected US.

What about the walking Saints among us? The underdogs who day in and day out go to work, try to pay their bills, and try to make it home to bed at the end of the day with as little incident as possible.

At AA they tell us that we are miracles. They say that every day that we look back on our past 24 hours of sobriety, it’s a miracle. Then when we look at how many of those 24 hour periods back to back we have collected for ourselves; we are a miracle. Miracles that are only possible through the grace of a loving God, to whom we have given over our will. It certainly is a miracle, but one that I certainly have had nothing to do with. Maybe the AA principle needs to apply to every aspect of our lives.

Give it all to God. Give God all the heartaches, headaches, bills, stress, arguments, successes and failures, and let Him work miracles. He seems to be in that line of work! Let God make something amazing out of the simplicity that is us. Like Seabiscuit conquering all the odds, like the Saints who went from paupers to heroes faith, like our Grandparents who made it in a new world, and like the drunk who everyday finds the willpower to not pick up a drink – God Works Miracles! We are still underdogs, because if we try to win these races alone, we surely will lose.
If we let God take over – the underdog becomes a formidable opponent.

Love Your Neighbor

This weekend on Sunday afternoon I went back to the old apartment to claim the last of my things. I brought Deacon Chris with me with hopes that he would help me in the discernment process of what can stay and what can go. Despite his insistence that if I “haven’t used it in the last month at the new house, you don’t need to keep it”, I still managed to haul two car loads of things back to Pawtucket. In the midst of all the sifting through stuff I found myself walking down memory lane, and when the room was cleared out, I stood for a moment and sort of looked around.

I couldn’t help but be filled with mixed emotions while taking it all in. I thought about when I first moved into the place. I was so excited to be starting in “my first apartment”. It was the first time I was living in my own place, and not renting a room in someone else’s home. I thought about all the ups and downs through the years. I came across old letters from ex’s that made their way into the “memory box”. I found tickets from movies, concerts, and plays that I went to with special people. I found an empty wine bottle that has traveled with me for about 5 or 6 years. I found a pumpkin carving kit, old engraved dog tags, a Transformer, and many other miscellaneous trinkets and tokens that I held onto as special memories from special events along life’s journey. Why do we keep this stuff???

We keep this stuff because it’s significant to us in some way. They certainly are not reminders of days I wish I could return to. Some of them are reminders of lessons I had to learn in life the hard way. Some of them are reminders of lessons that I continue to learn to this day. Some of them are reminders of people, who for better or worse; make me the person I am today.

In the Gospel on Sunday Jesus is asked a very pointed question “which one of the commandments is the greatest?” Jesus’ answer is one that has certainly gone down in history;

"You shall love the Lord, your God,with all your heart,with all your soul,and with all your mind.This is the greatest and the first commandment.The second is like it:You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments."

In this very clear statement, Jesus makes it very clear that our relationship with one another is intrinsically linked with our relationship with God. The statement presupposes that we already love ourselves, and that we must love our neighbor in like manner. This love is just as significant – and in fact linked to – our love for God.

That’s how we end up with all this “stuff” over the years, because the people in our lives, and the memories that come with them are linked to the Divine. These people that God puts in our path along the way who leave an impression on our hearts are there for a reason. That’s why we hold onto all that stuff…that’s why we have memory boxes. That’s why even after sifting through all the leftover stuff in my apartment, and throwing away countless bags of trash, I still managed to fill two cars with what remained! Those items are things that are point towards something much deeper, something much more significant. The love that has been shown to me along the way from the people and memories attached to those items, were reminders of the love of God Himself.

From the outsider’s perspective, I think many would ask “why would you save that”, or “why would you want to remember them?” I mentioned that Jesus’ words presupposed that we love ourselves. There were definitely periods of life where I did not love myself, and hence the love I had for others was equally as flawed. The relationships I tried to maintain while I was under the influence of alcohol were all people who will no doubt be counted one day among the Saints. The love they showed for me despite my inability to rightly love in return is undoubtedly a testimony to the divine nature of love.

So now it is a new day, and as some of these trinkets and memories find their new home on a shelf at the new house I look upon them with a smile. That’s because I do love myself now. I love my flawed, broken, simple self. I can say that because I know that my God loves me, and He knows that each and every day I give it my all…because that’s all we can do. I know for a fact that He loves me, because attached to each and every one of those trinkets and nick-knacks is one of my “neighbors” who lived that message of Jesus in their heart, and loved me…for the mess I was.

From the outsider’s perspective I’m a pack-rat. From my perspective, I’m a lucky guy, who’s been blessed throughout my life with people who have contributed to who I am today – weather they intended to or not. I think the important lesson to be learned is that’s why it’s so important to love our neighbor – because maybe they don’t love themselves, maybe they feel alone, maybe no one understands them. So love your neighbor…they may be depending on it.

The First Day of School

“When day came, he called his disciples to himself, and from them he chose Twelve, whom he also named Apostles: Simon, whom he named Peter, and his brother Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus, Simon who was called a Zealot, and Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.” Luke 6:13-16

Today is the first day of school. This is a day that brings with it different feelings for different students. Those feelings vary with age, maturity, grade level, and academic situation. I remember the thrill of my first day of High School, looking forward to meeting new friends- and after a summer of updating my wardrobe, upgrading my hair style to something I considered more fashionable, and putting aside my glasses in favor of blindness – I was ready. I don’t think I cared very much about the classroom lessons that would come my way. I certainly had hopes each year of doing well in school, but I will freely admit that finding myself ranked among “the cool” was always a goal with each September.

As I got older this experience would change, but in many ways stayed the same. In Seminary with each new assignment came an opportunity to meet new people, and build a support system that was stronger than the year before. I remember the first night of my last assignment in Omaha, Nebraska. The Director of the Program had scheduled a welcome reception for all the seminarians a local bar/grill. The evening was open bar, courtesy of the program’s budget, and around 10:30 the Rector walked by the bar to inform the group of us who were sitting there that he was about to close the tab. We were welcome to stay, but we were on our own. When last call rolled around, the four of us were still sitting there, now facing a tab of our own, two very full ashtrays, and thanks to the haze the alcohol had provided over our judgment we had no doubt shared about ourselves far more then we needed to. I remember clearly one of the Seminarians turning and saying; “Well I know who I’m gonna hang out with this Semester – we are clearly the only ones who can hang.”

Even as adults our social circles are a key part of our daily life experience. We try to socialize with people who we can relate to, who understand us, and who are in some way in the same boat. The old saying “misery loves company” often comes into play.

Jesus knew the importance of friendship, as so early on in His ministry, He selected from among the many who were following Him with curiosity, 12 men who would be by His side over the next 3 years. Instead of building bonds over drinks and cigarettes, He would build bonds with these men by sharing with them the gift of Salvation. They would travel together, lodge together, eat together, cry and laugh together. Although Jesus is God, He was fully human in His earthly existence and knew the ups and downs that come along with friendship. No doubt His awareness of these feelings is why the Evangelist chose to set Judas aside in the description of the band of 12 men as being the one “who became a traitor”.

As I look back over the history of my own life I certainly see many friends who lasted for various lengths of time. We all can do that. We all have the friends like Judas, who would turn out to not be the most faithful…however also like Judas, their betrayal would turn out to be the catalyst for something greater. We have those few friends that have stayed by our side through thick and thin, like John, who found himself to be the only friend still standing at the foot of the Cross. Of course in our human experience we have those friends like Peter and the other Apostles, who despite claiming all the faith and fidelity in the world fail so often, yet after every fall brush themselves off, and continue to walk down the road of life’s journey right by our side.

In the last year or two I have come to learn a lot about friendship. Priorities in life change along the way, and sometimes friends can’t understand that. Like my experience in Omaha, I think we all find ourselves waiting to see who is going to be “able to hang”, who’s still going to be there at the many “last calls” that life brings our way. As we get older we change our definition of the word friend. We come to realize that what defines someone as a friend isn’t the one who pays the tab at the end of the night. It’s not a relationship that is defined by something like Facebook, which can be terminated with something as simple as the click of a mouse.

The Apostles didn’t always understand Jesus, they didn’t always agree with Him, and they certainly had their share of quarrels among them; but in the end they provided a definition of friendship that would stand the test of time. On Good Friday as Jesus was arrested and crucified, all but one ran and turned their back on Jesus when He needed them most. As Jesus hung on the cross and looked down so that He could commend the mother He was leaving behind to the care of one of His friends, all he found was John.

The happy life they had shared traveling, and talking about God and His love for them had come to an end. In what seemed like a moment, things changed, and all of a sudden it wasn't easy being friends with Jesus. The rubber had hit the road, and for this band of friends turning and running was the chosen course of action in response to all the false testimony, drama, and possible pain. The real betrayal of Judas is that when he realized the results of his betrayal, he took his own life, in an act of selfishness that was based on the thought that Jesus would never forgive him for what he’d done. The others realized they demonstrated a lack of faith in their friend, and so they would go on to give their lives for Him, and His Gospel.

The story of Jesus and his Apostles shows us that love and friendship is about giving, not taking. It proves that we all drop the ball as friends, but if it’s real it’s never to late to fix it. That’s how real friendship is defined and demonstrated; with generosity- generosity in love, giving, and forgiving. The depth of these things can never be expressed gathered at a bar, or on a Facebook wall, and history may not always record them rightly, but an accurate testimony is kept forever engraved on our hearts.

Unless You Become Like Children...

“Amen, I say to you; unless you turn and become like children,
you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven”
- Matthew 18:3

I went to bed with a lot on my mind last night.

There was all the usual stuff like the Parish, and my work as a priest; How am I doing? Am I missing anything? Are we welcoming enough? Are the bills paid?

There was the usual stuff like work; Did I turn everything off when I left? Did I remember to save that slideshow I was working on? Was the advice I gave that youth helpful?

There was the stuff particular to that day; When will he ever learn to forgive, and stop carrying such anger in his heart? Will she ever be relieved of the ongoing addition of burden in this life, or will she have to wait until paradise to enjoy the freedom of peace?

We all go to bed with a whole world that continues to turn in the universe of our minds. That world contains worries about life, love, pain, bills, stress, relief, and the list goes on. It’s a miracle we get any rest at all during the five – eight hours we lay in rest at night. Then this morning I read today’s Gospel, with the above words from Jesus, “unless you become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven.”

A child has a certain innocence that we lose as we get older. The first time our heart gets broken, we become more guarded with our feelings, and the more it happens, the stronger that guard becomes. We get our first financial responsibility; maybe a cell phone, or a car payment, and it serves as the first of many bills to juggle in our heads. We learn how to worry about other people, people who invite us into their lives; friends, lovers, family, and co workers. We learn about gossip and the harm it can cause in our lives and the damage it can bring to a community. The lessons life teaches are often hard, and can only be learned through the shedding of more than one tear. If we were to stop for a moment and think back, especially on a sunny day like today, to life as a child playing in a yard on a summer’s day – we remember a life that was very different.

As a child when we got up in the morning, we were eager. Eager to enjoy the weather, eager to see our friends from the neighborhood, eager to see what discoveries of the world were in store for us today. Somewhere along the line we lose all that.

Children have such open hearts that are free from the damage of such pain and suffering. A child has never endured heartbreak, received a letter from a collections agent, dealt with car problems, or lost sleep due to worry and concern. That’s why Jesus advises us to become like little children; it’s for our own sanity!

A child forgives before receiving an apology, and loves without prejudice. A child plays a game of basketball alone, but in the amazing world of their imagination, they may be a member of a full team of players, competing against another team. They may fill the role of a point guard, a forward, or a center. As this NBA Championship game plays out in their imagination and they run around the court full of such energy they don’t even for a moment consider that an onlooker may think them crazy, because they only see a child, playing basketball all alone.

As adults we can’t even begin to imagine participating in such silliness. We would worry about others seeing us and think we had gone mad. We don’t have time with the responsibilities of life that occupy us. Perhaps even if we had the time, and the care-free attitude to do so, we are so affected by our life experience that the concept of a team that works together without malice, or the drive of an individual ego is so absurd- the only place it can exist is in the imagination of a child.

That’s the challenge of life. How do we reclaim that childlike passion that we can do anything we set our mind to? How do we see past the stress, and see all the blessings? How do we free our hearts of the pain and anger we carry so that we can live the lives of good and upright people that we are called to? How do we find the courage to let our hearts be open to someone else, risking the pain and suffering we have learned from in the past?

It’s a risk. It’s a risk to become like little children, but the reward is worth it. The reward of Paradise to be certain, but the reward we receive right here in the world we live in. The reward of love, happiness, freedom from grudges, or maybe, just maybe – even a good night’s sleep.

Sometimes We All Need A Good Cry

When’s the last time you had a good cry? There is something healthy about crying I have decided. It’s a cleansing experience. What makes us cry? We cry when we are in pain, physical or emotional. We cry when we are overwhelmed with happiness, and we cry when we are overwhelmed with sorrow.

Some contemporary empirical research would argue that sometimes we cry simply because we need hug. This modern research explains how a part of our humanity is our connection with others, our natural drive for community. Crying is a part of an expression of desire to connect to that community, a need to recharge, which is perhaps why so often our tears tend to slow, if not completely stop, when they are met with an embrace from someone we love.

Today is the Feast of Mary Magdalene. Mary was one of Christ’s followers while He was on this earth. Everyone seems to have their own take on this woman. Some tradition simply speaks of her colorful past from before meeting Jesus, some say she was a prostitute, and a movie produced in the late 90’s claimed she was a source of sexual temptation for Christ even as He hung on the Cross. Whatever her history was, the morning of the Resurrection, we know that she arrived at the tomb with two of the Apostles, and upon discovering that the tomb was empty, the apostles ran to tell the others, while Mary stood and cried. She cried because in that moment all she needed was Jesus. It was bad enough He was dead, so He wouldn’t be able to hear her, comfort her, or advise her as He previously had, but now even His body is gone. All she wanted and needed was a few moments with the only person who ever REALLY knew her. The result; she sees the Risen Jesus, who stands before her and asks why she is “seeking the living among the dead”.

I think we are in many ways a lot like Mary Magdalene. We go through our daily lives doing the best that we can, we are good people who pay our bills, go to work to make an honest days pay, we seek companionship in friends and lovers, we try to save for the future, and strive to reach our goals. In the meanwhile everyone else seems to have their own take on us. People construct their own opinions, and like the historians who wrote extensive pieces justifying their opinions on Mary Magdalene, when our name comes up in others’ conversation people promulgate the opinion they have constructed. History records its own many variations of our story; none of which ever seem to capture the real story of us.

I had the honor of presiding over a funeral yesterday for a man who was with his partner for 33 years. As the new widower stood at the casket of his beloved, he put his hand on the hand of the deceased and as a tear rolled down his cheek he offered a silent goodbye to the person with whom so much had been shared over the course of three decades. I was reminded in that moment of the scene a few days earlier in his Hospice Care Facility, as he who is now deceased lay on his bed, with tubes connected to his nose, breathing his final days breath. His partner held his hand that day too, as he said to me, “Father we had our ups and downs, but we always worked through it. I am just so grateful.”

I know I have those moments, we all have them. We all face those moments where for whatever reason, and in response to sometimes unknown stimulus, we get that feeling inside of us that says, “no one understands me.” We have moments where we feel so upset, and if only someone could live inside of our heads for just a minute, and feel what we feel, and look at life through our eyes they would completely understand our pain – but when asked to put it into words we can’t, or when we try, it doesn’t communicate to the person who is listening. That’s because often life’s burden is so personal, that if given the opportunity to allow someone else to help us carry it, we wouldn’t even know how to distribute the weight to those who were willing to help. There is no sense in trying, because each of our individual crosses is fashioned for no other shoulder but our own.

The lesson of Mary Magdalene is that there are going to be times that we run to the tomb and find it empty. There are going to be those moments when we are going to turn to that which strengthens us and be unable to find it, for the Christian that strength is Jesus Christ, and there will be times where even He will be seemingly absent. In Mary’s case the Risen Christ was hidden in the form of who she thought was the groundskeeper. Where is Christ hidden waiting for us? I can’t answer that question, for each of us it is different. What I do know is that for Mary step one was a good cry, then she was able to recognize the Risen Lord. So when we feel the tears coming, we need to let them flow. Allow yourself a good cry. Then after it’s over, embrace that feeling of release, that consolation that we find somewhere deep inside of us when its over, that sense of relief as though those tears were each weights that were adding to life’s burden.

Enjoy your next good cry, it’s God’s way of cleansing the heart and soul, so that like Mary, we can see the Risen Christ among us, and hear Him when inquires; “Why do you seek the living among the dead?”

Oh Say Does That Star Spangled Banner Yet Wave

The Fourth of July is my favorite holiday – bar none. When I was growing up, we didn’t really do a WHOLE lot for the big day. My dad’s birthday is the day after, and my best friend’s birthday is the day before. We usually had a family cookout somewhere near the day, and did the whole fireworks thing. My best friend would have his Birthday Party every year, and the Fourth of July burned itself into my memory as a time of celebration.

When I was in the summer after my first year of Seminary, Father Bert Richman, my Pastor, inspiration, and very dear friend was called home to the God who made him. He closed his eyes to this world, on July 3, the same day as that friend’s birthday (who was also good friends with Fr. Bert). For me, in that moment, the Fourth of July stopped being a cause to celebrate.

The next year, as I grew further and further away from those things of my youth I made friends with someone new, who introduced me to the world of the Fourth of July Bristol style. He allowed me a glimpse each year on July 3rd and 4th into a world of nonstop cookouts, the Parade, Fireworks, and the town of Bristol in a whole new light. Who knew that the laws of the State that applied everywhere else stopped applying on those days.

After leaving Seminary I found myself again growing further and further away from the world I knew, as my priorities changed yet again, but with it came a certain emptiness on the Fourth of July. A day that had formerly been about friends and family had become a day that only reminded me of the reality that my life was a mess, and if I was going to make something of it, I had to do something soon.

This year the Fourth of July really touched me. I had the pleasure of officiating at the Marriage of two Military personnel, who due to their service to this Nation had been forced to reschedule the event multiple times. At the Parish Mass on Sunday we celebrated the great gift of Freedom. The true freedom that is only found in Christ – and the debt of gratitude we owe to our military for establishing, and defending our freedom to worship and grow with Christ however we find most suitable. I thought to myself tonight, while watching the fireworks that I had the joy and honor of being engaged in ministry all weekend long – and the freedom to do so is only possible because of the service and sacrifice of so many in our Armed Forces, and indeed even the hard work of our fore fathers who set that wheel in motion.

I thought about my own life. I thought about how all the things about the Fourth of July that I have loved through the years as they have come and gone have been a testimony to who I am, and key in making me the person I am today. Maybe that’s why we as Americans relate so well to the Fourth of July. It’s the epitome of American optimism.

The Star Spangled Banner tells the story of the American Flag flying proud the day after a long battle. We go through life fighting to stay a step ahead. We try to stay a step ahead of the bills, our boss, our family, our friends. We try to keep our head above water, and when Summer comes we grasp at the opportunity to embrace a well deserved rest. The Fourth of July comes, and we gather with friends and family and watch fireworks, and hear the Star Spangled Banner in the background and we cant help but feel proud, and grateful. We are proud of ourselves for being survivors, and proud that we live in a Nation of such opportunity. We are grateful for the successes we have seen in our own lives, and grateful for the success of those before us that provided the possibilities that are available to us. Despite everything, after the long night’s battle…the flag was still there. We too will make it through the long dark nights filled with “rockets red glare”, and “bombs bursting in air”. We too will “give proof through the night”.

So my friends as this Fourth of July comes to its close all I can really say, is “God Bless America”.